The Truth About Dragons

     When I announced that I’d be doing a post a day, I asked my throngs of adoring fans to offer some suggestions of topics that I should cover. Clearly, my brilliance had cowed and intimidated all but the bravest of my legions of admirers, because I only received one response. Jon Wolf asked me to talk about the dragon that lived in the rings of Saturn. As soon as I heard his desparate entreaty, I knew I had to respond as quickly and thoroughly as possible to clear up the myths and misconceptions about said dragon.

There are many myths about dragons in general. Most people realize that dragons as we know them never actually existed in Europe, Asia, Africa. etc. Yes, there are myths and legends about the existence of enormous, scaly, flying and just plain bad ass creatures all over the world, but the majority of people believe that real dragons simply don’t exist. A reasonable stance to be sure, but true in only the most parochial sense. The real truth, (that only a few of us have had the drive and vision to discover), is that dragons are real but they don’t live on Earth. If one puts just a little thought to this, it quickly becomes clear why.

There is simply no way a creature that large could generate the lift necessary to fly under it’s own power. No matter how large the surface area of the wings, or how powerful the muscles, it’s too much mass to get off the ground with the speed and energy availible to biological organisms. Dragons love to fly, and they can’t fly on Earth, therefore, no dragons on Earth. It’s elementary logic.

So in order to shine the light of truth on this sadly ignored fact, I’ve come up with a list of facts about our Solar System’s dragon(s) that I think you should read:

1) There isn’t just one dragon living in Saturn’s rings, there are two. Their names are Bruno and Jack-Jack. They have tremendous amounts of sex. There’s not much else to do out there, but they’re not complaining.

2) Jack-Jack is short for Jacqueline Jacobi. This is a little strange because dragons typically do not use surnames. She’s never bothered to explain it, and the few beings who have brave enough to ask about it never lived to regret their insolence.

3) Almost every current story and myth about dragons can be traced to the one particular dragon named Marshall. Somewhere around 4200BCE during what we would call a “mid-life crisis” he got hammered, flew a bit too close to Earth’s gravity well and was trapped here. After a few decades of anger and frustration in which he laid waste to much of what is now Northern Europe, he mellowed out, grew a moustache and ponytail and moved to a small cottage on the shores of the Yangtze.

4) The moon landings were not faked, but they were an integral part of a massive government conspiracy. In fact, the launching of Apollos 12-15 were a massively successful ruse to distract the media’s attention away from a secondary launch site in Central Florida, exactly where the “Astral Orbiter” now stands at Walt Disney World. First Kennedy and then Nixon authorized these covert missions in order to establish regular contact Bruno and Jack-Jack and hopefully gain their support in the Cold War.

5) When they were first discovered, Pulsars were assumed to be distant dragon flames. We have since discovered that they are actually exotic remnants of stars, given their bizarre charateristics due to the massive violence and energy of a supernova event. However, in private, most astronomers prefer to stick to the “Dragon Flame Interpretation”, when asked about it, they will pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about.

6) Academics, bureucrats, artists, scientists and philosophers have know of real dragons for centuries. They keep their existence a secret not out of a fear of the public’s reaction, but becuase dragons are so damn cool that the jerks who gave them wedgies and the snobs who rejected them in high school don’t deserve to know about it.

7) Far from living in isolation, dragons are in regular contact with humanity, and enjoy many of our cultural exports. Bruno enjoys Iron Chef America, but still prefers the original Japanese version. Jack-Jack loved Battlestar Galactica and can even forgive the heavy-handed ending but when pressed says: “I actually liked the finale, but really, Starbuck? WTF?”. They are both serious Munchkin fanatics. Bruno’s musical tastes tend toward Progressive Rock and New Wave while Jack-Jack is massively eclectic, listening to everyone from Rascal Flatts to Franz Ferdinand.

One dragon scale is about the size of a cheese Pazzo from Amato’s. (Noteable because that is one of Jack-Jack’s favorite Earthly foods.)

9) The closest humanity has ever come to conflict with dragon kind was in 2007 when they Bruno was quoted at saying: “You know, that Cheney guy is kind of a tool.” Once the impracticality of sending 50,000 troops to Saturn’s rings was explained to the Vice President, the conflict was avoided.

10) If you ever come face to face with a dragon, panic and beg for mercy. You’re probably in no danger from the dragons, but you are now stranded, floating in the rings of Saturn, surrounded by massive balls of ice and debris. What the hell were you thinking?

Being Transgender is dishonest

A recent Feministing post on transgender people having sex with cisgender people attracted many negative comments focusing on the “dishonesty” of transgender people.

First of I’d like to say that I completely agree that it is dishonest for a transgender person and a cisgender person to have sex, full-stop.  We live in a world where notions of sexual orientation and gender are defined from a cisgender persective.  Since transgender people don’t fit neatly into these cisgender definitions, we are always going to be dishonest.

The whole notion of gender is commonly defined in terms of “biological sex”.  Interestingly very few people seem to see any need to decide what “biological sex” actually is, given that it has about a million different scientific meanings.  Transgender people don’t fit into these ideas of gender, so we are dishonest always.  I can’t say I am female without being accused of lying about what my assigned biological sex.  And I can’t say I’m male, because that isn’t my gender identity nor is how I’m usually perceived, so that of cause would make me dishonest as well.  And I certainly couldn’t say my gender identity is anything other than female or male, because those options don’t even exist in a lot of people’s eyes.  So yes I am completely dishonest, because I can’t even give an honest (cisgender) answer to what my gender is.

Thankfully comments along the above lines have become rarer at Feministing, and transgender people are less often accused of being dishonest about their gender.

But now with this recent post, there was a lot of people making comments based on similar thinking.  That transgender people should reveal their transgender status, because it’s something a partner needs to know.  Yet the reason usually given is that its relevant to the sexual orientation of the cisgender person.

But this argument has the same problems as that of defining a transgender person’s gender.  We have these artificial labels that people apply to themselves – heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or assexual.  And this is what defines us, but when it comes to transgender people and cisgender people having sex, these labels become ambiguous and we no longer have an “honest” labelling system – which is of cause blamed on the transgender person who caused this anomaly.

It is this system of labelling sexual orientations that is the problem.  The reality is that a human being is sexually attracted to some other human beings.  But we then feel the need to categorise people into heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or assexual.  But given that these categories are based on the gender of the person you are attracted to, this can not possibly be meaningful when the gender of a person isn’t straight-forward.

The reality is that you can be attracted to somebody, without even knowing  what their gender (however you as an individual define it) or even being mistaken about the gender.  This situation clearly makes a mockery of the system we use.  Though I have no doubt that many people would just blame the person they are “mistakenly” attracted to for being dishonest about their gender.

And the other obvious anamoly which seemed to be completely ignored in most comments – that if a cisgender person is sexually attracted to a transgender person, then the attraction exists.  The cisgender person can’t then say that they aren’t attracted to trans people, that’s just a plain contradiction.  What of cause can be said is that the cisgender person chooses not to have sex with transgender people, which is of cause a valid preference – just as racism classism, biphobia, and ableism are also valid reasons for choosing sexual partners.

Now I realise that the above “systems” of defining gender and sexual orientation are very widely used in society.  But I am disturbed that on a Feminist blog, people are defending the use of these cisgender-only systems – systems whose consequence is to oppress transgender people.

To call a stealth transgender person dishonest (or worse) for having sex with a cisgender person is a defense of this transphobic system.  If people want to choose to only sleep with cisgender (or white/able/middle-class/non-bigots/liberal/conservative/etc) partners, then people should take care that their sexual partners satisfy their particular prejudices.

Even if a majority of people are transphobic (or racist/ableist/classist/etc) then that doesn’t justify obligating transgender people to partake in that oppression.  Surely the real issue is tackling that transphobic culture, pointing out the absurdity of society’s ideas of gender and sexual orientation, rather than accusing transgender people of dishonesty or sexual assault because we don’t fit society’s norms and expectations.

And to be clear, I acknowledge that it is possible to construct hypothetical situations that would be dishonest and/or sexual assault committed by a transgender person (just as the case for a cisgender person).  I am talking about the general idea of a cisgender and transgender person having sex.

And in this post I am not making any comment on the argument that being open about big things is important/necessary in a relationship – that is a seperate issue to this

City’s vice squad violating SWEAT’s interdict

Lawyers acting on behalf of SWEAT (Sex Workers Education and Advocacy Taskforce) have submitted a letter to the City of Cape Town detailing in legal terms why the ongoing arrests of sex workers are unlawful and requesting that the City respond by 5 November.

On 16 October 2009 the City issued a media release stating that they had arrested 84 sex workers for soliciting and that the purpose of the arrests was to ‘profile sex offenders at the police station and register them on the City database if they are habitual offenders’ – such evidence ‘can subsequently be used should habitual offenders be arraigned in court’. All eighty-four of the sex workers who were arrested were released ‘after being profiled and fined’.

According to letter written by Angela Andrews from the Legal Resource Centre: ‘The arrests violate the terms of the  interdict granted in favour of SWEAT by the High Court on 20 April 2009, and the circumstances in which arrests can be made without a warrant. Such arrests must be made with the intention on bringing the arrestee before a court and cannot be made with the intention of “profiling” an alleged offender or imposing a series of admission of guilt fines on them.’

Vivienne Lalu, advocacy coordinator at SWEAT felt that the City should be held accountable to the law like everyone else. She further stated that sex workers fought long and hard to obtain the interdict. She said: ‘Sex workers do have rights even though the work they do is considered a crime.’ SWEAT would value any opportunity to engage the City regarding this matter. The random arrests of sex workers not only fails to address real crimes and those criminals who capitalize upon sex workers, but cause the industry to be driven further underground and result in sex workers not being able to access their human rights.

‘Pornification’ the Porn Phenomenon

‘Pornification’ – By Narelle McGowan

UK teens view 87 hours of pornography each year according to a survey of British teens online habits.

The survey conducted by OnePoll also surveyed children’s web habits showing that “sex” and “porn” are among the top 10 most-searched terms.

Pornography is Everywhere

Top 10 Children’s Search Terms…

1. YouTube

2. Google

3. Facebook

4. Sex

5. MySpace

6. Porn

7. Yahoo

8. Michael Jackson

9. Fred (YouTube Star)

10. eBay

In its hardcore form pornography is now accessed by 33% of all internet users in the UK.

Pornography is now more profitable and more acceptable than ever. It is everywhere: in advertising, on our mobile phones in our back pockets, on our televisions and dominates the online world. In the US the porn industry brings in up to $15billion annually (around £9billion).

Each year in LA alone more than 10,000 hardcore pornographic films are made against an annual Hollywood average of 400 movies. On top of this thousands of armature pornographic films tailored to specific groups are in circulation worldwide.

Every day in the UK 23% of men access pornography. According to Professor Brian McNair, Strathclyde University, “It is now much more acceptable for people to admit they want access to porn.”

When you Google porn you get about 209,000,000 results but Google doesn’t prompt porn or any porn related statements. Despite this pornography is increasingly easy to access and this raises questions of moral corruption in our society.

There are many different reasons why people seek access pornography. Some of which include…

- Form of escapism

- Imagining themselves in the act

-To polish up on technique

- For sex education

- Just to pass the time

Although pornography has become much more socially acceptable, as form of ‘Gentlemen’s entertainment’ disguised in places like Diamond Dolls and Spearmint Rhinos there is a clear dangerous element.

In a survey of 1000 men 35% said that consuming porn has stopped them from committing a sexual crime. Like drugs and alcohol pornography can also be addictive and if it can deter sexual crime, can it also encourage it?

Should pornography come with a warning sticker ‘Don’t Try This At Home’?

When one consumes pornography they produce a chemical – dopamine, whereby you find yourself wanting and needing more. Dopamine is associated with pleasure, and the feeling of ‘falling in love’. Which raises the issue… can one ‘fall in love’ with pornography?

In some circles despite its increasing social acceptance ‘porn’ is still considered a dirty word, but it can have its benefits. It can be used as a form of escapism, bonding between couples and perhaps can fill a gap in order to prevent sexual crime.

However if you feel you have an addition to pornography then seek help. Visit Sex Addicts Anonymous www.sexaa.org

Self-help: peons, paradise and panache...

There are a lot of self-help guides and ideas floating around out there. Ways to become powerful, to become successful, confident, how to seize the day, etc. They’re mostly gibberish because they pitch no real skill. To address real problems of confidence takes practice in an area relating to the problem. How do you cease social anxiety? How do you take down violent criminals or fight off bullies? How do you talk to attractive men or women? How do you stand up to your boss? How do you find a soul-mate, a great teacher, or a great skill? How do you make a lot of money on the stock-market? How do you attain non-craving or non-attachment and ultimate supreme enlightenment?

The same way you do anything: you practice the necessary skill until it becomes normal. You do it until it is no longer an unusual thing, it becomes routine. So much crap in life, so much unnecessary mental suffering is really just people whining — people trying to avoid doing the grunt work. The grunt work is all there is! Civilization is built upon shitty jobs! When you fuck up — do it again! Do it again! Again! Again!!!!!

In fact, in life we should never expect any kind of perfection or success. Life is constant struggle, constant change — diamonds are mined from hard work, and nothing else. Any successful person, who did not have to do any hard work or hard practice to get to their position of influence or affluence, is worthless. They do not know what they are doing. They are the spoiled prince, the media heiress, the run-of-the-mill actor, the corrupt politician, the failed business tycoon; they are the true meaning of charlatan, poseur, parasite and liar. The depth of their ugliness is endless.

And so it is with everything. If you want the bigger returns, you need to put in more effort than other people.
This is why having competition amongst fellow students, friends and family can be a good thing. We are forced to practice and improve ourselves with our free time. Life’s rewards are the personal results of hard work. Too many people just sit on their asses watching mediocre television shows every night, while looking for love in the gutter (bars and clubs) on the weekends.

And not that anyone is ever satisfied by romantic love no matter how much they yearn for it. Every other person I meet who finds out I’m deep into Taiji or music, they immediately fire off some nonsense about how they really want to start learning that stuff. But almost none of them will ever start. Why? What do they want, free lessons? My approval? All a person needs to make life reasonably fulfilling is a couple of things rewarding practices to pass the time, things that you would hate yourself for not doing.

The worst thing I can imagine doing is taking some salaried job in a corporation, so that I can buy a house in a developed community and raise kids in a world I never fully comprehended in the first place. And yet, the irony is that this is the grunt work, the shitty job, of civilization. A lot of people try to fill their existential hole with sex, drugs, money, kids, status, power, religion, and a million other things. And they’re unsatisfied. They have nothing. Because there is nothing, but they only know that intellectually, not experientially. And so it goes on.

Learning multiple skills is essential to understanding the essence of metaphor. Metaphorical understanding and realization is valuable stuff, as Aristotle put it:

The greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor… it is also the sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars.

Girl on the Go: Accessories Sold Separately

Virgin America flight 412. I’m on my way from LA to NY, five days “sans famille”.  The first vacation in 15 years without my husband and child.  I have packed accordingly; sequins and stiletto boots that haven’t seen the light of day since the 80’s.  My bff is in the seat beside me, and we’re on our third cocktail.

Touching the ground at JFK, I feel it all coming back. My hometown long ago forsaken for eternal sunshine and the white picket fence, dogs and SUV included.  The lights of the city welcome us on this rainy October night.  It’s 11:00 at night, and I’m wired.

There are beautiful boys on the street. Not California beautiful, but New York sexy. Hot and electric, rough around the edges. Twenty years slip away as I fall into the rhythm of the city.  My accent is back, and so is my light.

We have no responsibilities on this trip, no one to tend to.  Night and day are interchangeable. We stay out until 5 in the morning, and eat lunch at 4 in the afternoon.  I’m wearing mini skirts and 6-inch Louboutin pumps, knee-high boots and glitter. Steven Tyler smiles at me in the hotel elevator.  We have a drink with Jackson Browne.

The  Concierge is a bad boy. He rolls joints for me, and we smoke outside a bar next door to the hotel. He walks like a mobster/runway model, and talks like David Caruso. He smells really good.  He is 6′2 and blonde, beautiful.  I am old enough to be his mother.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Get Horny Your Couples

Get the most out of your sex life with Horny Goat Weed

Horny goat weed also known, among other things as Yin Yang Huo or Epimedium, has been around as a sex booster for hundreds of years and was discovered quite accidentally by goat herders who noticed that their goats became sexually aroused after eating the weed. Horny Goat Weed has been refined, had the active ingredients extracted and produced into an easy to take capsule, designed for both men and woman who are looking to support their sexual desire and performance.

Horny goat weed is known to support:

• Erectile function in men
• Libido Levels in men and women.
• Optimum Sexual pleasure.

Although used for hundreds of years in Chinese herbal medicine to increase sexual desire and treat impotence. Horny Goat Weed only recently become a common part of western medicine, and is now recommended by doctors world wide, as a natural supplement that will support normal sexual function.

Now you can experience the benefits of Horny Goat weed for yourself risk free. Our pure and natural Horny Goat Weed extract is available now, and is guaranteed to help you and your partner fulfill your sexual potential and achieve maximum pleasure.

Dont wait any longer,get your
potent Horny Goat Weed extract pills today.

Customers Testimonials

I have experienced an increase in my sex drive, and I have noticed that my partner is more easily excited than she used to be. In fact she was often not in the mood so the only action I was getting was pleasuring myself. I convinced her that taking Horny goat weed would help our love life, and it sure did. I can say now that we both want sex a lot more and I feel that it has bought us closer together.……
jon, IL

My wife and I have been taking goat weed for a better sex life for a while now and we have had great results. I am able to achieve strong erections, and am able to last longer before reaching orgasm, and my wife is having multiple orgasms for the first time in her life! We will certainly be getting more…..
Pier 35, MA

After 25 years together, my husband and I wanted to try to inject some spark back into our love life. I wanted to try something natural and safe. I found your website one day and discovered Horny Goat Weed, it sounded perfect and it was something we could both take. I took a chance and ordered online though that’s not something I had ever done before and I was a little anxious about that part of it. I am happy to say that ordering was not only easy, but I got my pills in only 8 days and they were discreetly packaged as promised. We have found that after taking the pills for a couple of days, that we became much more easily aroused, and after a couple of weeks, my husbands impotence problem has been greatly improved. We are enjoying our love life again. Thank you for this marvelous product, we feel like teenagers……
Joan.S, Fl

Thanks to Horny goat weed, my girlfriend is horny all the time!! I bought them for her a month ago cause she had a pretty low sex drive, now she is the one who wants it every night – sometimes twice a night – and I love it……
W.E 22, Chicago

I wanted to write to say thank you for sending the Goat weed out discreetly, and for answering my questions about the product ( email ) I wasn’t expecting a reply so fast! I love your HGW and my girl loves her multiple orgasms !!!! We find it hard concentrating on anything except sex when were together- which is exactly what I wanted ………
Adrian 25, Sydney