Japanese and Chinese scholars published the results of a three-year joint study Sunday which showed they could not resolve differences on controversial modern events including the 1937 Nanjing Massacre.
In a government-backed project aimed at soothing strained ties, 10 historians from each country have reviewed the history of China-Japan relations over 2,000 years.
The 549-page report showed both sides agreed that the 1937-1945 Sino-Japanese War was an “act of aggression” waged by Japan.
But it noted differing views on the number of Chinese killed by the imperial Japanese army after it seized Nanjing, then China’s capital and known as Nanking.
The Chinese side, citing a ruling of the 1947 Nanjing war crimes tribunal, said more than 300,000 were massacred in the atrocity when Japanese troops embarked on an orgy of destruction, pillage, rape and murder.
The Japanese side pointed to “various estimates” such as 20,000 and 40,000 and up to 200,000.
The study was launched in 2006, when then prime minister Shinzo Abe and Chinese President Hu Jintao tried to mend ties that worsened under Abe’s predecessor Junichiro Koizumi whose visits to a Tokyo war shrine angered China.
The Japanese government has apologised for atrocities during its occupation of China without putting an estimate on the number of victims in Nanjing.
The report did not disclose the outcome of discussions on post-World War II history at the request of the Chinese side.
[Some 3,000 people, including some who suffered during the Sino-Japanese war massacre, attend a ceremony in Nanjing]
The study was led by Shinichi Kitaoka, a professor at the University of Tokyo, and Bu Ping, director of the Institute of Modern History of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.
Kitaoka and Bu said last month that the report would wrap up the first phase of the joint study and they hoped to launch a “second phase” in the future.
Japanese Foreign Minister Katsuya Okada told reporters on Friday that the study might expose “differences in views, especially in modern and contemporary history”.
“But I think common understanding can gradually be nurtured through repeated meetings.”
I was having lunch with a few colleagues in office the other day and as usual getting bored with their self-glorifying stories. And suddenly a weird thought struck me, what if these people were discussing what happened in their beds rather than in their projects? And conversation that mixed easily with a discussion on the new recipe they tried in their kitchen, conversations which were not whispers or cheap, bickering laughter… What if that were to happen?
For a moment the thought seemed interesting enough for me to laugh out when my boss was describing his woes with his daughter. The whole conversation in my mind changed that moment.
Oh I am so pure female, giggling – ‘You know last night my husband and I just made out, he didn’t enter me.’
I Know it all male – ‘I don’t think he likes you anymore.’
I am the Best Boss – ‘You should start thinking of how to make him enter you. Try showing more of your tits. That should get to him.’
I know it all male – ‘No, try sucking and then pulling him inside you. Your process has to be accurate.’
Oh I am so pure female, giggling – ‘I think I will try both of these and report to you tomorrow what happened.’
It didn’t take me long to lose interest in the whole sex conversation they were to have if sex was an easy and open topic. People are just that, people. Whether their conversation is about sex or anything else, it’s not interesting if they are not interesting to me or connected to me in some way. And they can never be connected to me if they are being their pretenses or acting smart.
Don’t get me wrong. The joke is on me, not on people with whom I don’t connect. Despite writing this blog about sexuality, vaginas, dicks and tits, I don’t know what I want my conversations and relationships to be:-) All I know is, if you fake it I can look through your game. If you don’t then too I know who you are.
But coming back to knowing people and looking through them, I have always felt that I take a lot of time to know people and I still feel I don’t know them after knowing them. But with people with whom I have had sex even once, i know them, their game in life, who they are outside their bedrooms, quite well. Being naked, is really that being naked. Having sex is really experiencing someone as they are and as they are not. Now this doesn’t mean that to know people I am going to have sex with everyone i meet, in office in my building, male, female, whatever. In fact, that makes me even more choosy, far more picky and choosy for my own good. Being picky means lesser sex than I would like to have! no?
When I choose to have sex with a guy, I choose an experience. If the experience is not pure joy for both people, but just fulfilling a hormonal drive, then I damage myself, my faith in good sex just a little more. At the same time, this is a Catch-22 situation. I can’t find what the whole experience is all about till the time I really experience it!
So, sex, experimentation and laughing the bad ones off goes hand in hand. And not to forget, getting away as fast as possible from the bad ones:-)
Btw, if you still want tits on toast or a cocky cocktail, go all out and have it. Maybe I will have a cocky cocktail too to toast your grand luncheon…
It rained last night. I don’t know why I shouldhave been surprised, given how much we’ve had this winter, but it did. My plans for a stroll through the Mission foiled, I opened a bottle of champagne left from New Years, and opened my computer to the Friday night Craigslist crowd.
Mostly I found the usual suspects: on Men Seeking Women were the married guys looking for something on the side, the boys from the Marina looking for blondes to meet them at the bars, lonely men looking for company on a Friday night. Casual Encounters also looked typical.
Then I found this angry young man, and wasted the better part of an hour talking to him on email. He thinks his post is original in its honesty, when in fact it’s just sad. This poor guy is so hateful, I encouraged him to seek professional help. His return emails to me were equally angry. He’s still under my skin this morning, although I won’t waste any more time talking to him. While I hope everyone finds what they are looking for on CL, I hope this young man spends some time working on himself before inflicting himself on an innocent woman.
Hi Ladies, Can You Handle The Simple Truth? – 33
Date: 2010-01-28, 6:06PM PST
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You always say in your ads that you’re looking for an honest man. Well, you’ve found one, but you probably won’t like what he has to say. I’m placing this ad because I’m looking to date someone regularly and have great sex, and that’s it. If we become a couple, fine but I don’t want to have any conversations about where our relationship is going. Who needs that grief. Hey, at least that’s honest. Why else would I do it? Think about it, single men are a lonely bunch and set in their ways. If they say otherwise, They Are Lying! We all want a woman who is not going to cause any disruption to our lives. Someone who likes us for who we are and not who we could be. I don’t live with my mother and have my own modest place. My car is not flashy but gets me where I need to go. I have a decent job which allows me to pay all my bills. I know right from wrong and I do my best to treat people with respect. I may not be perfect, but I know I’m far better then those who came before me.
Reading some of the ads, I’ve laughed out loud at stuff like “long walks in the park” or “I like to go hiking”. What a load of crap! Half the women I’ve met, after two blocks they’re complaining their feet hurt. (and for the record, I do give one fantastic foot massage) My favorite is “I like to go horseback riding.” That’s the one that cracks me up the most. First, where the hell do you find a horse in the city of San Francisco? Second, what makes you think it wants you on its back? And here’s another one for you ladies. Having an intelligent conversation? How does that work with someones damn cell phone going off every 5 minutes. All this does is put women on dates with jerks who will say anything and end up taking advantage of them.
The only reason men put up with your fantasies – and let’s be honest here – sex. Do you really think that keeping us from watching ESPN will make us happy when you drag us around town to do stuff we don’t want to do? I speak for at least 60% of the men out there when I say: 1. We hate shopping. 2. We do not want to hang out with your family or your silly friends. I don’t have time to do those boring things because I have a job and other responsibilities. I work 6 days a week, and after a long day at work the last thing I want to hear is, “Mark and Susan are coming over tonight.” I used to play that game – doing the shopping thing, having dinner with other boring couples, those ridiculous, so-called-romantic things you make us do just to see if we will do them, and then, just maybe, you might have sex with us. Wake up, ladies! It’s a different world! The fantasy man you imagined no longer exists in 2010. Kind, caring, sincere, loyal, etc men are few and far between. Most guys on-line are putting together a fantasy sport team, checking out porn sites, and wondering how to get laid.
In closing, let me stress that I love women – short, tall, average, skinny, athletic and even a little overweight. All races are welcome (Caucasian, Latino, Black, Asian and Native American) doesn’t matter to me. I want someone who is a Non-Smoker, Intelligent, Opinionated, Genuine and likes to kiss (among other things). Ladies, here’s the deal. If you’re looking for someone to try all those relationship tips you got from reading Cosmo, then I’m not the one for you. However, if you are a woman who likes laughing at goofy people as they walk by, making out in a darkened movie theater or wasting a day at an amusement park, lets talk. As for myself, I’m a SBM, 33, in shape, average build, shaved head, 5′ 9″ and 170lbs. I’m STD Free and you should be the same. I don’t workout, but I’m very active and play sports. I do cook, play video games and like to go dancing. You should know that I have a very erotic mind and being a Black Man I don’t do anything Vanilla. If we are together, then you will be my one sole focus. I can promise a long & fun ride.
Are you pissed off that you’ve wasted your time reading this? Well, at least you can’t deny it’s not original. I look forward to reading your responses, even those who feel the need to tell me off. I respond to all e-mails. We can chat if you like, or whatever. Thanks for listening to the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
A friend told me last night that her favorite position is her lying on her stomach with cross legs. And the partner enters from behind. Apparently this position hits just the right spot.
I told her that’s because it hits her G-spot. She didn’t know that. Which was surprising considering that she’s been a player for a long time.
I will look for positions for her to try out. Hahaha.
I live in South Orange County – where it is a mecca, of older tanned, toned, lifted, Botox filled and surgically enhanced women. They are everywhere. Despite their efforts or their checkbook, the one thing that they can never change is their age. It’s like a 57′ Corvette, beautiful, but we all know the engine has a lot of miles on it.
Some of these women are single. Maybe most. They frequent places like Gulfstream, Landmark and Rooftop. Occasionally they can be found in Vegas at the BARE pools. They invade bars, restaurants and nightclubs in search of men. Younger men.
And I know a guy that loves these women. Not a little but a lot. He carries their pictures on his cell phone and his stories are infamous at happy hour. He tells of Cougars that are bold and sexually forthright. He is proud of these conquests and finds the chase to be an easy one. Notice the word “easy”. For him, good-looking guy, early 30’s, good job – there’s no real fear of rejection. These women want a younger guy and he wants sex. Which is fine for them – if that’s what he wants.
But when he is really is ready to be in a relationship or be with someone that has more potential than a one-night stand, it’s going to take work and maybe some rejection.
Until then, I guess our Happy Hours will be filled with stories about Botox and the sexual escapades of the Cougars of Newport.
Sexy, financially independent, mature and single woman! She has it all but on top of it she still can drive much younger men crazy, have them crawling to her feet begging for love and because she knows what she wants; she keeps the love she gets!
They call her a cougar or a sugar mama, but she just sees herself as a generous lover. Even celebrities have assumed her way of doing things because for her it brings happiness. The general conclusion that most of us come to is ….there’s a catch, right…whether that be money, fame or great sex…
View the gallery http://www.sevafrica.com/modules/travel/article.php?news_id=77
This week was the start of the second semester kick-off week. Now, considering I’m not a part of the faculty that is arranging the parties, technically I shouldn’t be allowed to go, but luckily both my roommates are a part of it. So last night (monday night) was the first night of 4 nights of partying. It was a mexican themed party, and let me just say it was awesome. There were lots of people with ponchos, sombrarros(?), and even some some dressed up as a bottle of tequila! We danced the macarena, listened to lots of mexican-ish music and hit pinatas full of condoms and candy! All in all the party was a great success. Tonight there’s gonna be a Trønder Party (don’t really know how to explain what that means in english). But I think I might skip out on that one and rest up for the 90’s party tomorrow. We are going to have a huge foreplay (pre-party) in our tiny little apartment, but its gonna rock nonetheless. Can’t wait! Oh man how I love college <3
He explores her bare body through hungry eyes.
Innocent urges of curiosity, concentration at its peak.
Skin is a beautiful organ of touch.
She knows this,
And so does he.
Casual persuasion; he undresses with nimble fingers.
Kissing her ribs and counting each one out loud.
Papers scatter now, these desks turn dirty.
No limitations on this journey.
Yielding to emotion – viewer discretion is advised.
Questioning nothing, he provides all her answers.
Sudden movement / static breathing.
In — Out — In — Out
Addressing time in slow-motion.
Hours fade to noises.
Satisfaction is yummy.
Encouraging whispers tickle her eardrum; distinct smells of warmth echoing.
She’s getting lost in the ride, thrust forward then back again.
Sensations powered by a V8 engine.
Tan skin connects with pale – a color clash of outer ego.
Her bottom lip quivers uncontrollably; a shiver on steroids.
This feeling is so surreal.
Laments the Student:
Teach me bonus, man with power.
(We’ve only just begun.)
After school again, so comfortable in your presence here.
Energy flows to the toes, my muscles surrender to pleasure.
So young. So ALIVE.
Special attention, I want it / I crave it / I need it.
(You got it, you give it.)
Light this love on fire, one more time.
I fall submissive to the afterglow.
Loose + relaxed + excited + stimulated; all at once.
Challenging my senses, but I accept.
I’ve stumbled upon perfection today,
And just had to explain it.
I could trip a referee
…tell by my attitude that I’m MOST DEFINITELY FROM…
New York!!!!
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York!!!
These streets will make you feel brand new,
the lights will inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York — JayZ and Alicia Keys
I am sitting on the plane Friday afternoon, about to crash, so I boot up the computer and wonder how to explain my visit to New York.
And I realize I should sit down and think about the week.
There are too many factors to put a week’s worth of living in without trying to disseminate first. But dissemination is boring and I just don’t have the energy. So I just type instead …
Last night was my last in New York – at least for the time being. And as I write this I know for sure I can put an end to my very first “relationship” from the site. I know because I spent almost two days remembering – up close and personal – why it ended in the first place.
The trip was a present from Mr. Married Number 1, “Mr. Big,” if you will, because the ludicrousness of that is fairly apropos. I am no Carrie Bradshaw. I just coulda been … or wished I’d been. Or was too scared to try to be … in some way, shape or form.
“Mr. Big” no longer lives there, but he spent enough time there – in the past and now – to know how to show me New York. And he loves to show off.
He was magnanimous enough to tell me to bring someone with me. And I did. But that’s really not the story … it is and it isn’t … depending upon who you ask, I suppose, and how it did change things … but I believe it worked out for the best.
Because had it not been for the former, I never would have fled to the latter … When I got a last minute reprieve and another day in the city.
Last night I was free. It was almost as if there were two completely New York experiences – based solely upon who I was with.
Another man rescued me, you see. And it was oddly coincidental because I’d not only had dinner with him the week before. And he’s from my state and he was staying two blocks away and he is the quintessential gentleman.
We both were a bit drunk when we got out of the cab at Times Square. And it was gorgeous and touristy and faux and real glam and weird and normal all at once.
But it was me …walking through the brilliant lights – with a help from my southern gentleman … and his cashmere coat and his leather gloves. I wanted to see motherfucking New York and there it was lit up with Madame Toussad’s and Radio City.
There were no more hookers and hustlers and drugs and porn. Instead it’s comedy clubs or overpriced gift shops or weirdly placed chain restaurants. But it’s the same Times Square. And I wouldn’t have seen it otherwise
This same man had rescued me from the corner of 51st and Lex the night before and led me to the P.J. Harvey’s where natives sang “New York New York.” The same bar he found himself at the urinal with Dick Clark many years ago.
I don’t know. It’s apples and oranges in comparison … but I know with whom I had the better time. But again, better is relative.
With – and he would appreciate this reference – “Mr. Big,” it’s barking orders to cab drivers and talking to policemen at the hotel bar about the election and using his cash as currency for power.
I feel sure we’ll not speak again. He was … a jackass. And there are no two ways about it.
I suppose it’s OK to throw a bit of change at someone and tell you to entertain your friend after you’d promised a real New York experience.
You know, it is. I just wish he’d not promised if he had planned on not delivering … but that’s his MO.
And I knew that, so … shame on me.
The southern gentlemen told me two things about myself when we were having lunch the next day.
“I knew you would back out at the last minute,” he said. “But I also knew if I looked you in the eye, you would stay.”
Damn, and I was that predictable. Because instead of pouting anymore, I texted and asked if he wanted to have coffee before we left. And … my next day was sealed.
At the last minute he was on his phone with the airline, while I got a call that our driver was there to take us to the airport.
By the time we’d finished putting M in the car, changing my flight and getting my things from the room, I was sweating and my heart was seriously pounding in my chest.
It was only after lunch and some wine that I settled.
He had business … a meeting … to attend to. He offered suggestions, and I listened to them all.
And then I went to the room, changed to tennis shoes, got my Ipod and rolled. I just started walking.
I walked not like M and I had the day before – rushed and with a purpose – but slower, just as the Gentleman suggested. Rest often, he said. Take it in … And I did. And it was by far the best time so far.
I have to throw the shoes away now. I wore them down. Because as soon as the music started, I calmed. And I enjoyed and I soaked it up … from Central Park to Park Avenue to Madison and Grand Central Station.
He had shown me the direction … “See where the sun is?” he told me. And I just went from there – with no real purpose.
I followed a Hassid … which makes me laugh … because you’d have to know me to know that I weirdly always wanted to be Jewish and I would have been SERIOUSLY disappointed had I not seen one.
But when I saw Ben Gurion – well, hell, I knew I’d struck … not gold. But I knew the Diamond District was around.
I walked only a little into Central Park … just to see a bit. And then I just walked and looked and walked more and didn’t give a fuck if people thought I was crazy, a tourist or a stalker.
I kept up with the New Yorkers and followed some young bankers leaving work in Mid Town just to see if I could keep their pace and follow them through cross walks and lights.
And then I went back to the much nicer hotel, with its original façade and huge courtyard and used a real key to get in the room – instead of the oft-used piece of plastic.
I took a long, hot shower and relaxed for a second … but not long enough to get tired. And I methodically began getting ready for dinner.
The Gentleman had already booked reservations with the concierge, and I didn’t want to hold anything up.
So I guess the biggest difference between my experiences of New York come down to the differences in those two.
With the Gentleman, it’s all about nuance and walking. There’s no shortage of money, but it’s used differently … on cigarettes and drinks and food. It’s given freely with no expectation of a return. “Mr. Big” must ALWAYS see a return on his investment.
We returned late and my feet were dying – because I HAD to wear heels … and I knew the risks. And was awakened it seems mere moments later in a rush because I was riding with him to the airport.
I was out of the hotel – complete with a shower – in 40 minutes … gotta be a record for me.
He missed his flight. And the plane turned around for him. And that makes me smile every time I think of it. He’s so easy going … so laissez faire … nothing flusters him.
And it was the difference in the two of them that led me to flee in the first place and allowed me to stay one more night.
Something I would’ve never had the opportunity to do otherwise. In fact, this year has been such a weird mix of highs and lows for me.
It’s cost me heavily. But because of that, I was able to take a risk I would’ve never done otherwise ..So fuck it. I was in New York … a bit of JayZ’s, but more of Billy Joel’s. And I hope I get to go back one day. In fact, I have to. It’s in my blood now.
But in the meantime, it’s about life again. And it’s most certainly WTF am I gonna do?
Because God damn, it’s so fucking trite, but I know, as I am riding on the plane back to my state, that it’s time to set my own course now. I’ve been in a holding pattern til I made this trip, and now it’s time to do something.
I just wish I knew what. I’m going to give myself the weekend … to think … not about New York … but about growing up. It’s motherfucking time.
Marriage Lesson #2: Guys, the quality/quantity of your sex life is in direct proportion to your spiritual practices if you are a follower of Christ.
In my post last week Painting the Bathroom Blue, I went from Marriage Lesson #1 to Marriage Lesson #3, but left out 2.
So here is Marriage Lesson #2 and its a doozy!
Guys, want a better sex life with your wife?
Pursue Christ with abandon. Pick up the bible and read with her. Lead her in prayers. Love God. Love others. Submit to God willingly. Find joy in your relationship with Christ. Get involved with God’s people in God’s community.
Demonstrate the fruits of this robust relationship with God such as …
A desire to be in God’s house with His people
A desire to have a time set apart daily for just you and God (even if this means you have to forego a conversation with your wife because you are talking to God)
A heart to serve others in creative and meaningful ways.
Something I love about John is that he prays at dinner.
Always. It may be a short prayer, but it is still a prayer and when he prays, I feel safe and protected.
Yes, it is sweet and endearing, but it is more.
There is something about watching my husband commune with the Creator of the Universe that is beautiful.
To a woman, a man’s spirituality = safety + security.
In turn, safety + security to a woman = the ability to open herself up emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. That environment you have created in turn results in her opening up physically.
Get where I’m going with this?
My #1 reason for marrying John is that I felt he had a “pure and sincere devotion to Jesus Christ.” I have admired this about him. Everything else in our lives can go away and I could survive it – jobs, money, health, our looks… our teeth But if John’s relationship with Christ goes away, it would not only be the death of our sex life – it would be the death of our relationship.
I will never forget a conversation I had with one of my girlfriends a few years back about the relationship between Sex and Spirituality.
My friend had been the spiritual head of the house for a long time. She is an amazing woman of God and I have watched God do tremendous miracles in her life over the last ten years. She has a belief in God that is unwavering, she is completely sold out to the spiritual development of her household, she has one of the most consistent devotional and prayer lives I’ve ever seen, and as a result, God has worked through her tremendously.
Her husband is wonderful. He is supportive, loving, an all-around great guy. He would join the family at church, but he was not spiritually leading their family.
God got ahold of him a few years back and lit a fire in his relationship with Christ. Out of the blue, he took the lead in their household and began spiritual family practices, he began leading a bible study in their home, and his entire life became polarized around the axis of God’s leadership.
As God led him, their family began to thrive.
As their family began to thrive, my dear friend said this…
“Girl, I have to tell you, seeing my husband fall at the feet of Christ daily – completely surrendered – it has done WONDERS for our sex life! Ten years of struggling in the bedroom together has been revolutionized by seeing him pursue God and embrace leading our family in a Godly way. I just trust him more, you know, because I know he is in daily communion with God, allowing God to lead him. Because I know his heart is being daily influenced by God, I can trust my husband’s heart, and that makes me want to jump him! It’s amazing, who knew!”
Ten years and several kids later – they are still “tearin’ it up” as a couple – if you know what I mean.
As women, we are dying to be led by our men.
Now, this does not mean that we are incapable, incompetent, dependent, or shriveled up weak things that need a man to define us. On the contrary – I believe it takes a very strong woman to be able to admit her need for a man’s leadership in her life.
Not a man’s tyranny. Not a man’s domination or control. A man’s spiritual leadership. There is a difference.
Spiritual leadership says, “I love my wife enough to put God first in our marriage. Before her.” Control/domination says, “I don’t have time for God.”
Spiritual leadership says, “I will sacrifice for the good of others, but I will also respect my own needs enough to be honest and truthful about them. I will seek God for wisdom and discernment on resolving conflict.” Control/domination says “I want my way at the expense of you.”
Spiritual leadership says, “I will take the time out of my day to pray for my wife, pray for my family, and seek God on things that I am struggling with. Then I will trust God when I submit my burdens, knowing that God has a good plan for me and my family.” Control/domination says, “I have to fix all of my issues myself. Prayer is a last resort.”
Spiritual leadership says, “I will encourage myself in the Lord, and in turn be able to encourage others around me.” Control/domination says, “Nothing ever works out my way. I am destined to the situation I find myself in.”
Spiritual leadership says, “I will pursue health and wholeness in Christ.” Control/domination says, “You are responsible for making me feel better.”
Spiritual leadership guys – it will revolutionize your home. It is not always easy or the more c
omfortable way, but it is God’s design for a household.
Only when we women know that you are connected to God can we connect to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually in complete abandon. When you are seeking God intimately, freely, willingly and we see the fruits of peace, joy, faith, love, healing, and strength in your lives… it impacts us in ways that you can not even dream of!
In my church we have ongoing discussions about the concept of “headship,” women in leadership, and spiritual leadership in the home.
This topic used It used to burn me up. However, I now find myself – whenever church leaders are discussing this topic – internally saying:
“Yes! Yes! Please guys – listen to this charge! Get up and lead your church! I am dying – as a women – to see Christ’s leadership manifest itself in you! I am tired – as a woman – always being the first to volunteer because a man won’t step up! I am tired – as a woman – being in a lane that isn’t mine to run in. We need you men. God has gifted you with wonderful talents, please step up and use them – we need you! Yes, we can run a church on our own, but we LOVE seeing you step up and lead.”
Is there the possibility that we are all off our rocker and in complete doctrinal la-la land when it comes to women in leadership? Yup, you betcha! But there is more to it than that for me and for many women I have spoken with.
See, sometimes guys, we women just need to be able to lean back and rely on your Godly leadership.
We are tired… down right exhausted.
Guys, we want you to lead as Christ does. We want you in our home to lead as Christ would, we want you to lead in the church as Christ would.
We are tremendously impacted by your leadership – never forget that.
This is not about doctrine. This is not about conservative vs. liberal. It is about a leadership opportunity that we are desperate for you to take. An opportunity that impacts we women intellectually, spiritually, emotionally… and this is the good news for you… it impacts us physically when we are in a committed, covenental relationship with you as our husbands.
So guys, know this because I’ve seen it repeatedly – if you want a good sex life, concentrate FIRST on your relationship with the Lord. Let your wife see you doing that. Pursue Christ with an open and pure heart. Love God with everything you have and everything you are.
Your wife, your sex life, your marriage – will never be the same – I promise.
For those of you who don’t know me, which should be the majority of you, my name is Olivia. I am 22 years old, and I am currently studying abroad Queensland, Australia. I’ll be here until the end of April and then I will come back to the USA for two weeks, and then I will be traveling all through Europe until the end of August. I have a blog, a real blog, which documents my trips and talks about my experiences as a regular person. However, because everybody is linked to that blog, I can’t necessarily write what I really think. So, I created Olivia, and my secretales to do all the talking for me.
I’ve been in Australia for two weeks now, and so far I don’t like it. I’m trying to keep an open mind, but it’s tough because I don’t like most of the people I’ve met. I have yet to meet anyone that is interested in the arts, or good conversation, and most importantly someone that is a lesbian. I met a nice gay guy at CBD, a bar at a hotel that is within walking distance. However, he seemed like his main concern was to party and to hook up with other attractive tan gay men, which is fine by me, but not what I am looking for in a friend.
I have a few people I do like. One’s name is Stacey (goes to school with me), the other is Taylor (she goes to school in the Midwest) and Stacey’s friend Kat (who went to HS with Stacey). They are all nice, and straight, but are ok with gay people. The people I don’t like, Meredith (she’s from the Midwest and chose to go to college in her hometown, she doesn’t have any concept of open-mindedness and is very conservative. She’s judgmental, which makes no sense to me because she is ugly and short. I, at first, didn’t mind her, but then realized she didn’t like me and noticed her snarly remarks towards me and had changed my positioning on her. The group I’ve been hanging out with likes Meredith, which makes so sense to me, but I think in part it has to do with the group think, following attitude everybody has). Theresa (she’s from the midatlantic and goes to school in the Midwest. She belongs to a non-drinking sorority and her sorority consumes her life. It’s basically like being part of a convent. Except, she has a boyfriend that she plans on marrying. She’s also unattractive and will make snarly comments too. But, she’s not intolerable. I like her as a person to talk to on occasion, but she is not someone I would typically want to be friends with). My roommate (It’s not that I don’t like her, but she’s not exactly someone I would normally be friends with. Because she’s overweight, more overweight than I am, I’ve come to realize how disgusting it really is to be fat and have made more of a conscious effort to workout while I am here. I guess, for that, she is a good roommate to have because she motivates me to be better, just by existing with her small town, fat self). The rest of the people I’ve been hanging out with I neither love nor dislike and thus they remain unnamed. They’re meaningless. They’re followers and have absolutely nothing interesting to say, which is good and bad. Good because you can just start talking small talk to them and they think that makes a nice friendship, bad because it makes them terribly boring and not worth my time.
Well, Thursday, January 14th I met a guy on the bus to the club. Our school is obsessed with going to clubs, so during orientation week they had a bus to a club almost every night. His name is Ben. I’m not really sure how he got on the bus because he’s 30 and not a student. He thought he was going to be a student, but his work told him that he didn’t need to get a degree in management because he already is a manager and is doing a fine job. He’s a physical therapist and lives right around the corner from the school I go to. I didn’t really know he was interested in me until we got to the club. I noticed that on the bus he was talking to me, but all Australians are pretty friendly, so I just assumed we were having friendly conversation. Then, when I got into the club, I kind of parted ways and I ran back into him about 10 minutes later. He immediately started talking to me and next thing you know we are sitting down and he asked if I wanted a drink. I said sure, because I don’t like to let such generous offers pass me by, and next thing you know I’m drinking a couple of drinks with him and his friend. Well, we start to dance and I notice that he’s really hard and it turned me on a bit. So we continued to dance all night. Some of my friends think I’m straight here, but they haven’t asked so I haven’t had to tell them anything other than what ahs been going on here. Ben and I ended up dancing all night and he even kissed me and we also made out at the club. His kissing style was good, but weird. He only kissed with his lips, no tongue at all. I’m the type that will do mostly lips but I like some tongue in there too. They weren’t bad kisses for a guy, but there is nothing better than kissing a woman in my opinion. I especially like kissing the girl I had been dating back at home, Sara. She’s a good kisser, and I think that’s because everything about our styles and our mouths/bodies fit together – she’s also ok with play kissing. Play kissing is when you kiss just wildly for fun, rubbing tongue against teeth and teeth against lips and all sorts of nonsensical things you can only get away with when you’ve been with someone for a while. The other weird thing is that he came off as a bit gay. He lives in a house full of guys that are all physical therapists. While Ben and I were dancing his friend kept poking him with a glow stick and I just thought it was the weirdest thing. Ben is an attractive guy, he’s muscular, has blue eyes and an angled face, he’s tall and is just stereotypically a nice looking guy. He is also extremely nice, not once did he insinuate that he wanted me to sleepover or anything like that, which is a sharp contrast from what I’ve experienced with guys in the US. After we were done grinding on each other at the club, he asked if I wanted to catch a cab back to campus with him and his friend. I said sure and on our way out we stopped at another bar. This bar seemed to have a lot of guys dancing with each other so I asked Ben, “Is this a gay bar?” And he said, “I’m not gay.” Which I thought was a weird response, and I quickly said, “Oh I know you’re not but this place seems a little gay. Which is fine by me, I love gay people.” Little does he know how much I really do love gay people, but I figure why ruin something that could potentially be an interesting ride… or at the very least an interesting story. Well, I got in a cab back with them and we spent some time talking on the porch and when he walked me home we ended up making out and dry humping and it was all a lot of fun. While we were doing it, I tried forgetting about Sara, but in the back of my mind I kept thinking of her. I also had debated suggesting we do more, but I didn’t really feel like it and decided to keep this a relatively PG experience. He walked me back to my dorm and gave me a kiss goodnight. As I walked back to my room I kept thinking how weird it was to have experienced this with a guy. It made me uncomfortable thinking about how OK I was with it. I think part of the reason I felt so weird about it was because I miss Sara so much.
Two nights after that experience, I called him on my way home from a friend’s place and asked if he wanted to hang out. I was feeling a little horny and was hoping we’d do something fun when I came over. But because he is so nice, and I think afraid of making me uncomfortable, all we did was sit on his porch and talk. He also showed me the Southern Cross, which is in the sky and can only be seen if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere. I didn’t think it was going to be such a simple thing, but it still was cool. So we didn’t end up doing anything that night. Since then I have talked to him via text and yesterday he asked me if I wanted to go to get lunch with him. I couldn’t go because I was going to a pub-crawl in two hours, and it just wouldn’t have given me enough time. I think he likes me, and I want to like him, but I’m not really sure if I will or can. I’m not going to cut ties just yet, because it’s still too soon to tell.
I wish there was a girl here I could like. Even if they didn’t like me back, and only wanted to be my friend, I’d love to have a real companion: someone who understands what I am saying when I say it and has the same appreciation for similar things as I do. I went to a gay bar and I didn’t see anyone that seemed interested in me. I’m going to go again, by myself, so I don’t have girls next to me who might insinuate a connection that doesn’t really exist.
I’ve been at the library now for 2 hours and haven’t really gotten any work done. I’m tired after the pub-crawl. Tonight I am keeping it low key. I should go update my “real” blog now.
Lust, Caution is an Ang Lee film based on a novel of the same name, which is in turn based on a short story called The Spyring. The story takes place in Hong Kong and in Shanghai during the late 1930s and early 1940s. This of course was when imperial Japan occupied much of northeastern China. Shanghai was ruled by traitor Wang Jingwei’s collaborationist KMT puppet state. It is a story about a group of students who plan to assassinate a prestigious collaborator named Mr. Yee, played brilliantly by Tony Leung. The plot of the assassination is centered around using the attractive “Mrs. Mak” (Tang Wei) to entice him. Mrs. Mak is actually the seemingly shy and unassuming student Wong Chia Chi. The film begins by focusing on her finding the resistance’s agents and her own rise among them, but it soon stays focused on her transformation to Mrs. Mak and her interactions with Mr. Yee.
Wei Tang in one of the film's hyped nude scenes.
I just recently saw the 2007 documentary Nanking which goes over the infamous massacre of 1937, arguably the most horrific two to three months in the history of humanity. I also recommend that documentary but especially as a precursor to the exciting espionage film we have here in Ang Lee’s Lust, Caution. I’ve read about the Rape of Nanjing before, but watching that first really fired me up to root for the resistance in this film and helped to enhance the experience overall. Lust, Caution really does have it’s share of unpredictable moments and the way it unfolds was surprisingly compelling and uneasy, but I don’t want to give too much away. Suffice to say, there are some remarkably intense moments in this film and I am not talking about the well-publicized sex scenes.
Mr. Yee and Mrs. Mak in a seen from the film.
The sex scenes by the way only make up about ten minutes of total screen time. Altogether there are only three or four scenes that contain sexual content or nudity within this two and a half hour movie. Yet, because the film is NC-17 we seem to only be hearing about those scenes, although the film’s success has possibly encouraged similar content. I love when a film draws controversy, especially for perfectly natural reasons, but it is even better when it’s a film that is effectively telling us an important and interesting story. In fact, I’d go as far as to say the film has been denounced by some for its most beautiful moments. The sex scenes are actually among the most compelling I’ve ever seen, perhaps it was just a little too close to the bedroom for the MPAA? I would’ve given this film a heavy R rating for one pervasive murder sequence but even if you do happen to have a teenager you can control enough to keep them from seeing a movie they want to see, don’t worry about the sex scenes.
A still from one of the film's elaborate and beautiful sex scenes.
Ang Lee is incredibly versatile and lately he has created some hugely significant films. He has convinced me his films are always going to be worth watching out for. Lust, Caution has it all. It is interesting, suspenseful, shocking, sexy, and beautiful. The screenplay, the score, the cinematography, and the performances are far stronger than any other film released as an NC-17. That means a lot for us waiting to see a marketable non-pornographic adult rating in the United States.
Check out “The Truth About Relationships” Mr. Locario’s Blog Talk Radio Show. The 5th Episode is Titled “It’s Your Fault You’re Single” Click here to listen to the show
In this episode Mr. Locario and Steelwaterz talk to their guest about issues men and women face while dating and how they may be hindering their success in dating and also things that they are doing to help their situation.
This episode deals with topics that include
*Playing hard to get
*Insecurities
*threesomes
*What men find attractive in women
*What women find attractive in men
and much more
Click here now to listen
And listen to the show live every wednesday at 11pm eastern time at www.blogtalkradio.com/mrlocario
Also remember to pick up a copy of “It’s Your Fault You’re Single: Tips on finding Mr. Right” Click here to get your copy
For more sex, dating and relationship advice visit www.mrlocario.com
Not in a “I was at my friend’s house watching a movie” when truly at the bar sort of lying.
Not, “No, officer, no crack or crack pipes in this car. No, sir.”
More along the lines of: No, I’m fine; Yes, that works for me; Sure! That wasn’t what we talked about, but it’ll be just fine … Those sort of lies. The kind of lie where I shoot out an answer to keep the other person appeased before I even consult with myself. Or even realize that the other person doesn’t need appeasing.
As soon as I say Yes! I’d LOVE to! I feel it in my bones that that isn’t really true. Because I didn’t really even consider my options before agreeing.
These lies apply to a lot of valuable areas in my life. Dinner, What To Do This Weekend, How I Feel in a Disagreement, if I’d really prefer the heater on….and a biggie: Sex.
It’s crazy, but for a while (which means most of my sexual career) I knew I was missing some of the dreamy adjectives you hear related to sex…. but I didn’t have a clue what to do differently, so I didn’t say a damn thing. Nor did I realize how deeply being quiet affected my body, my soul, my life.
Thankfully, little lightbulbs of possibility started showing up:
The Five Hour, Enlightening Conversation at the end of 2009.
The Return of Desire by Gina Ogden.
The ridiculously intense journaling, which included ranting, blaming, complaining, lamenting, designing What I Might Be Missing and finally, ownership & responsibility.
Finding Sheri Winston’s 3 breath orgasm video.
Ordering Sheri Winston’s book.
And this snowball of clarity culminated in:
The Bodily Epiphany.
A night of such intense arousal that not only did I understand FUCK YES, I’VE BEEN MISSING A LOT, but I also understood that every orgasm I’ve ever had was forced.
And forcing sucks out the juicy.
Which, sucks.
And explains why I felt kinda sad and let down sometimes after sex.
Here’s the clincher: I told my lover that that was the best night of my life. So on some level, he gets that whatever he did, he did well.
However.
I didn’t exactly explain that I don’t ever want to force sex again. Or that my amazing night changed my mind about sex completely. As in, fuck having sex when I’m mildly interested. I want juicy, wild and uncontrollable desire.
And: I am willing to admit that I am a sexual beginner.
Even though I’ve been having sex for a long time, have all manner of sex toys, and am my circle of girlfriends’ go-to girl for sex talk.
I just want to be brave enough to admit all this to my lover.
And that’s where the truth comes in, because it’s scary for me to admit when something is less than perfect. I know why this is. But what’s more important is letting perfection go.
Just as important is owning what I know now, and taking the time to re-learn sex. Because I like to read about it, write about it, talk about it. The actual exploring part is where I feel hesitant – and I suppose rightly so. I realize I’m not sure where to start, and that’s difficult to admit to myself. Because in the past, it’s been a dry experience with a goal. And even now, I know it can all be different, and yet I still have a bit of a goal: I want to feel that incredibly alive again. All by myself, for the sheer pleasure of feeling that way and knowing it’s part of me. An accessible part of me.
It’s just that the goal part makes it feel like work. Or a pass/fail test.
Which isn’t incentive to play, let me tell ya.
So that’s where I am: telling the truth and starting over. And one way I’m telling the truth today: not wearin’ a bra. Yep, I’m at work. And yep, it’s probably obvious, because the girls are less padded than usual.
Kenya Shimizu has a really classic Japanese style. He expresses Japanese guys and their Samurai-spirits which Western guys may find interesting. His works are exactly what those who are interested in Japan want to see. He used to draw illustrations for gay magazines including G-men, but he recently has started to show his original works, and has put value on more artistic activities.
Seems so straight forward (no pun intended) a post so far doesnt it Punjapit Readers?..well oh no!.. not so for some so-called liberal-masquerading Japan Blog Site administrators – this identical post lasted less than two minutes before it was pounced upon and removed.I don’t need to name the Scoundrel – the Intranet that oversees Punjapit are only too aware of it…however, its not about hypocrisy or descrimination – just the usual all-too Human Fallibility – Good ‘ole Yankee Ego.
please enjoy this 3000+ year old Art Form: http://www.japanesegayart.com/
In New York, unless you’re stalking someone, it’s virtually impossible to run into a specific person. But, with my luck, it is possible to run into the same ex of recent time, and on the same train at 2 in the morning heading back from the city and back to our neighborhood.
Yeah. Fuck you, universe.
I have no idea, but I ran into the same ex twice.
But, the encounter wasn’t terrible. Though I hadn’t seen him since leaving his house in an upset, post-carnal fit two weeks beforehand, I wasn’t angry. If anything, I felt so surprised at seeing him and the sheer absurdity of running into him that I laughed my ass off. There is a part of me that believes quite deeply in the universe leading us to people we are destined to have in our lives; to me, there was a lesson to discover.
We had a good ride home laughing and just being agreeable. I left him on the stop before his, and as I did, I caught a small wistful smile on his face- one that was probably similar to my own. And upon walking home, I realized that there was no getting away from how I feel: in spite of our ups and downs, I love him regardless. And though we are not together, it doesn’t change that I care about him very much.
But, there was an extra thought that occurred to me- that, for all my complaints about him, for all my whinging and whining that I didn’t get what I need from this relationshp, I wondered- why don’t I just ask?
So, I called him, and laid myself out on the line. I let him know that I wanted a new relationship with him, one that wasn’t based around badly timed drunk sex. And, since I was reconnecting with the things around me without sex, drugs, or booze being a factor, I likewise said that I would love to reconnect with him on the same basis. I asked him to be my friend, and it almost felt like I was asking him out. But this is what I would like most.
I also admitted to some of my own unhappiness: for the longest time, the biggest chip on my shoulder has been feeling as though I have been a stand-in for someone he loves, a booty call backup of sorts. I no longer want to be that in his life, and to never feel that way again. (He was quiet at this part; I’m not sure what he exactly thinks of this, and I wish he would have added to the discussion. But, I suppose he needs time to digest this too. There’s nothing like running into your ex on a train, and then having her call with all sorts of pronouncements. Yup.)
The end result is that he agreed to my terms, and I feel a whole lot better. I’m glad I ran into him, because I figure the universe was nudging me towards actually opening up to him about how I feel, both good and bad. I never like admitting to my unhappiness; maybe it’s because I’ve grown up under a mother who tried using histrionic behavior to get love and attention, but when it comes to my unhappiness with a man, I am largely stoic. Where my mother bleated about being a dutiful yet unhappy wife, I am quiet.
And, I need to stop being so quiet, and to keep expressing the things I normally repress.
So, as far as the ex goes, I feel like that’s one less chip on my shoulder, one less burden to think of negatively; instead, he is someone I think of more positively. There’s no escaping that I care, and I’m quite glad he knows that I care about him as much as I do and that I’ve been unhappy. I think I’ve been afraid to speak of how I really feel, and thought that if I did, he would somehow not like me and not talk to me; I am wrong.
And, I am also likewise wrong about opening up, for I feel so much lighter. Granted, I am a little teary and weepy and emotional from actually speaking my heart and conscience, but it’s better than feeling stormy and like I’m ready to take out my angst on myself with cheesecake.
So, thanks Universe. You have a way of giving me a fucking heart attack with my exes, but maybe I’ll be able to grow and express myself for the better in the process.
Thought this was what a friend of mine had, his girlfriend saying and soon as it was out it was all over!!! Sounds funny but annoying to say the least, having all sorts of impact on a relationship. I’ve had Brewer’s Droop on several occasions and thought this was an ED Erectile Dysfunction, and thought about taking Viagra or Cialis. I steered away from this after reading this fascinating e-book.
Many people can confuse erectile dysfunction with:
premature ejaculation which is ‘coming too quickly’.
retarded ejaculation (delayed ejaculation) which is an inability of the man to reach a climax.
Let’s define the problem. ED means an inability to get a good enough erection to achieve satisfactory intercourse.
Some sufferers can’t get a hard on at all; others get one but it isn’t firm enough to penetrate the partner; and others can manage penetration for a bit, but then lose it.
We found a good and frank report here and doesn’t beat around the bush (sorry). Most of us don’t want to take pills, so using natural methods in the guide may help as it did me, I mean my Friend!!!
Thousands of men in Japan are shelling out over $6,500 for these hyper-realistic dolls that answer all their needs, and don’t talk back. Created by Orient Industries, you can customize it with a wide selection of faces and hairpieces fully interchangeable. All dolls are waterproof of course… (Link)
Artificial Hymen
Sex-toy company Gigimodo created this “artificial hymen” –a plastic sac filled with… oh well, fake blood– for those of you who either need to lie about being a virgin, or want to re-live losing their maidenly flower. Fake blood in our chocha? No thanks… (Link | Photo)
Obama Dildo
Just in time to insert some pork into the new stimulus package comes the “official” Obama pleasure toy. For only $34.95 you can get the “Head O State Obama Sex Toy”, and you get your choice between “Presidential Gold” and “Democratic Blue”. (Link | Photo)
Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack
The thought of being bagged up like a birthday present isn’t my idea of fun, but according to the site, this total body sack is “so comfortable, you could spend an entire night in it”. (Link)
Eco-Friendly Vibrator
Love yourself and love your planet at the same time with Sola, a small bullet-shaped vibrator powered by the sun. The price of being green? $69.95. (Link)
Real Touch
This computer-controlled “stimulation” device uses “specially encoded content” to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin and it’s available for $150. (Link | Photo)
Cup Nude
At some point everyone has enjoyed a fresh hot cup noodle. While the traditional instant little cup would satisfy your hunger needs, the “Cup Nude” on the other hand, satisfies a completely different need all together. Although similar in design, you will immediately notice upon opening, that this is not your average midnight snack. Complete with a packet of “Gently Acid Lotion”, we are sure you will find some enjoyment out of this loving product, unless of course, there is real acid in that packet… ouch! (Link)
Hello Kitty Vibrator
Originally marketed as a neck massager, this was one of the cult Hello Kitty collectibles that could only be acquired in Japan. But a couple of things just didn’t seem to fit the whole neck massager model. The first was the size and the shape. The second was the vibrating qualities. So that’s everything then. And in even more colours – black being one of them. (Link)
Hizamakura’s Lap Pillow
Here is something cooky. Normally you would think that resting your head on a lap would be for lovebirds. But not in Japan! They seem to have something of anything and that is exactly what the Hizamakura Lap Pillow is all about. It is shaped like the lap of a woman where you can perhaps sleep better knowing you are in good laps! Only the Japanese could invent something like this. Price? $142. (Link)
Gold-plated Vibrator
Meet the world’s most expensive vibrator, a 18 karat gold-plated piece that weighs approximately 5 ounces and is 3 inches long. Made in Sweden by Lelo, it has a suggested retail price of $1500, but can be had for as little as $999.(Link)
Astazi vorbesc singur despre o dezbatere intre patru interlocutori , trei masculi si o femela. Dezbaterea a fost despre cine sta deasupra in timpul actului sexual, barbatul sau femeia. Nu s-au luat in discutie avantajele sau dezavantajele unor pozitii sexuale ci principiul general “cum e mai ok de cele mai multe ori” .
Unul dintre interlocutori si-a exprimat deschis respingerea ideii de femeie deasupra, pentru simplul fapt ca lui ii place mult mai mult sa “munceasca” cand are astfel de activitati. Una dintre replici a fost ceva de genul ” astia ca tine ne fac reclama proasta!!” ). Bineinteles ca omul a glumit. Cea de-a treia parte masculina s-a pozitionat convenabil pe centru, in sensul in care nu respinge nicio varianta. Partea feminina a discutiei era bineinteles cea mai amuzata dar si putin curioasa sa afle ce debiteaza trei barbati cand vorbesc despre pozitii sexuale.
Discutia a fost amuzanta si amicala dar fara concluzii clare. Nu vreau sa incerc sa trag eu concluzii pentru ca fiecare si-o trage cum vrea. Conteaza finalitatea, adica “sa ne simtem bine” si masculul si femela. Conteaza si relatia dintre mascul si femela in sensul in care sa le pese daca si partenerul e pe receptie, pentru ca se poate intampla ca masculul sa dea 100 de metri garduri si dupa 2-3 minute sa-si aprinda o tigara, ori ca femeia sa croseteze sau sa faca zapping cu telecomanda intrebandu-l pe fraierica daca mai are mult. Dar cred ca astea se aplica mai mult in cazurile in care exista o plata in bani la mijloc )
In cazurile unor relatii “la placere” eu zic ca avem dreptul sa ne calarim reciproc pana ne sar fulgii si se sparg vazele cu flori din tablouri. Toata treba este sa nu devenim plictisitori, previzibili, puturosi si egoisti.
Na ca am fost si dr. Love azi!!! dar poate mai fac si eu un trafic decent:)))
Today is the release day for my vampire/romance/erotica “Love Bites Back” from Freya’s Bower (www.freyasbower.com). Here’s the back cover blurb:
I’m Crystal Payne, yeah I know it’s not an original name, but yeah, it’s better than nothing. What do I do? Well I hunt those things that go bump in the night for profit. Notice I didn’t say fun? So when a vampire comes to visit trying to hire me, I’m a little less than enthusiastic, no matter how handsome and debonair he is. Instead, I take a job for the Snowden family. Their daughter Heather has gone missing in a notorious club frequented (and owned) by vampires… The Uptown Club. It’s a nasty place, and I know Heather’s been missing for three days. That can only mean one thing. She’s no longer human but a bloodsucking menace that needs to be put down. Maybe if I’m lucky I can clean the entire place out. If I’m very, very lucky, that is.
A couple weeks ago when I was telling my friend about my New Year’s resolutions, I was explaining about the one where I’m no longer going to hook up with guys unless I’m in a committed relationship with them. My reason is because what I want is someone who likes me as much as I like them (or as close as you can get because the odds of it being totally equal are very slim…and immeasurable). She said there is this book called Choke by Chuck Palahniuk about a guy who has an addiction, and in the book the main character says how he needs someone who has a mutual addiction to him. When she said that, I was like, “Yes! That’s exactly it!” I had to read this book.
I always wanted to read a book by Palahniuk, and she was always talking about them, so she loaned me her copy of Choke. From the start I really loved Palahniuk’s style of writing. I mentioned to another friend that it is quite clear that he has a gift for making the reader read his book the way he wants it to be read…if that makes any sense. “Yes,” she assured me, “it makes sense.”
There is also no doubt that he is creative. The story had a lot of different ingredients to it, and the way they are put together is very digestible, and that’s actually really funny if you’ve read the book. (Read the book, and you’ll understand the funny.) The main character, Victor Mancini, is a sex addict who goes to sex addiction workshops just to hook up with other sex addicts. He works at a colonial park, but his real source of income is from those who have saved his life on the many occasions he goes to restaurants to choke and be saved. The money is a necessity to pay for his mother’s hospital fees. That is like a very small piece of the story. All of the characters are interesting and fully fleshed out, even the ones Victor has only brief encounters with.
The full quote that my friend was talking about was:
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
When I read that, I was disappointed because I don’t feel that way at all. I only agree with the mutual addiction part. As for the rest of it…no…I run away from shit like that. If I wanted someone to need me like that, I’d still be with my ex-boyfriend. Personally, I like my freedom and respect those who do, too. I want someone I can respect and trust. I don’t want a fucking leech. Parasite. No.
Despite the disappointment of the quote, the reason I read the book in the first place, I’m glad I read it. It was an interesting look into the male psyche. Even though Victor Mancini isn’t necessarily your typical male, some of it is clearly true of males in general. Like how men have to think about nonsexual things while having sex or else they shoot their load too quickly. Although I already knew this from when I asked my friend what was wrong one time while we were having sex, and he told me he was trying to focus on other things because he was about to come. He breathed in deep, looked away, his eyes lit up, “Hey, coffee maker.”
I think you’re really hot. I don’t know why, but there is something about you that makes me want to immediately rip your clothes off.
Now, this is not a good idea. As you may remember, I just broke up with someone. And we were together for a long time. So I don’t think I’m ready for anything right now, not even just hooking up. I think to sleep with someone now would make me all vulnerable and crazy. Plus you know all my friends, and I’m not into the incestuous circle of friends who all sleep together shit. I mean, I need to keep my friends and my rebounding separate, to avoid the awkwardness.
But seriously, if you had touched my back one more time I think your clothes would have been off before we got to the subway. And when you picked me up while we were hugging, I was imagining a completely different event going on, and by the way, it was really really good.
Ever walk around London’s East End and catch sight of a nude woman in a gas mask on a yellow-painted wall? If so, you’ve discovered the artistic ingenuity of Keith Hopewell, aka Part2ism.
Since the 80s when he created his first piece of street art, his style has evolved to reflect a changing state-of-mind and the current political/economic environment. His work is a bit rebellious, a bit controversial, a bit erotic, sensuous, pornographic at times, and always thought-provoking. Experimenting with beauty in death and the ugly faces of life – like war, consumerism and religious fanaticism - Part2ism has intrigued London and other cities with floral skulls, nudes hand-painted with photo precision and unique military typography. He’s stretched the boundaries of street art to show his work in gallery exhibitions and his art was featured on the front cover of the London Street Art Anthology a few months ago. When he’s not busy being a revolutionary artist, Part2ism has also been producing rap/hip-hop music for the past decade or two.
For this week’s London Art Spot, he talked to us about his famous Tamara series, his influences and why he chose the name Part2ism.
LLO: You’ve been noted as a pioneer in photorealist graffiti. How long have you been a graffiti artist and where did you create your first “photorealist” piece?
P2: I used to write and spray MOD-related logos like the The Who and The Jam everywhere in the 80s when I was 11 or 12-years-old. When I saw what was happening on the New York subway, I really had to get involved and never questioned why. The mid-80s, for me, was an exciting time, but a bit of a fun thing. I was young like most writers in the UK at that time and was influenced by the US heros. But, before the 80s were over, I became more obsessed with developing my own corner in the culture. I experimented with a lot more avant-garde concepts. The photorealism developed slowly over 1989-1990. Before then, it was about portraits that were not painted as articulately.
LLO: Your style has changed quite a bit over the years. P2: Ha ha, true. I’m a human being and I suppose it’s not much different from eating different meals. You get an intuition and follow it because it feels right. Your art should represent your true self and it doesn’t feel right to me if you ain’t moving forward with your work. People have called me the “Renaissance Man” which is great for the ego, but bad for future productions if you take it too seriously. I believe keeping your work relevent and challenging conventional ideas stops the mind from going soft.
LLO: Have you seen a change in the way people have perceived your work over the years?
P2: No, I still have to work twice as hard as most people. It’s great for my work but very tiring (laughs).
LLO: Why did you choose the name Part2ism? What does it mean?
P2: It’s just a play on the name Part 2 which was my writing name. I hate being categorised, so adding -ism makes Part 2 a practice. I kinda operate more in the middle ground between graffiti, street art and contemporary art from a bit of an outsider position and am not really accepted by any of them. There was always the label “alternative art” which categorised street work in New York in the 60s, 70s and 80s, but that just reminds me of the music industry; when they don’t know how to box a particular sound, they just label it “alternative” or left-field. They really suggest that what you do doesn’t fit, which can’t really benefit the artist. I’m just an artist period! I utilize a bit of everything and add it to my hybrid. categories are really for the media and not us. Keeps people’s minds neat, tidy and rigid if things are more formulaic.
LLO: How does living in London influence your creativity?
P2: Most cities outside London don’t have such an abundance of pubic space to work on, so London is unique in this way. A lot of the time I get out of London when I’m looking for inspiration. I get my ideas a lot clearer in the country and when they come, I know exactly where in London to execute the idea. I’ve always spent a lot of hours walking around London no matter how far apart places are; this is how you learn what’s what in the capital.
LLO: Do you prefer exhibiting in galleries or on the street?
P2: I don’t discriminate; art is applicable everywhere on any medium.
LLO: Your series Tamara got a lot of attention. Can you tell us a bit about these pieces, who Tamara is and what they mean?
P2: Those paintings are loosely based around the idea of consumerism consuming itself. Tamara [Seabrook] was my girlfriend at the time. We both thought works exploring the body, erotics and death were missing in the modern spray cannist scenes, so we got to work. Tamara worked a lot with erotics and photography and I was exploring these realms too, so we brought it all together.
LLO: Which piece of work are you most proud of and why?
P2: Oh gosh; this changes all the time. Maybe the Floral Skull right now, because it’s started me working in a totally new way. It’s the foundation for all the new work I’ve got coming out later this year.
LLO: Which other London-based artists do you admire?
P2: I’m digging R.O.A. at the moment. He’s not from London, but he’s definitely brought something different to the melting pot…
LLO: Where can see your work now?
P2: My next show is in New York, but Londoners keep your eyes out on the streets shortly!
Thanks Part2ism!
Catch Part2ism on Facebook: www.facebook.com/keith.hopewell
Sometimes, living is a celluloid loop,
a three minute picture show shown
on the back of your eyeballs. The
textures of the scenes burned into
the memory. The same cruel lips,
caresses, stinging words, slamming
doors. Then the epilogue filled with
joy, smiles, Elysian fields, gentle
breezes, new age music. The projectionist
is a sleep, snoring slack mouthed,
cradling an empty bottle of scotch.
The movie goer doesn’t care, they
are there waiting for life’s
sad repetition to start over.
We paid good money for the show
didn’t we?
The ladies love to see Robert Pattinson getting steamy with Kristen Stewart in the “Twilight” films, and now he’s set for an on-screen hookup with Uma Thurman.
According to a report, the “New Moon” stud has signed on for the lead in “Bel Ami,” playing an ambitious young journalist named Georges Duroy.
And in the process of sleeping his way to the top, Pattinson’s character ends up in the sack with Thurman’s character Madeleine.
Robert recently admitted that he’s a bit apprehensive with anything outside his mainstay vampire role. “You get offered stuff that you would never dream of getting offered before, but that’s also scary. You don’t have to audition for anything. But I don’t want to do a movie just so it gets made. You have to question yourself a lot more. Before Twilight, I did any movie that I got offered, and you’d try and make the best of it afterward. But now, you’re expected to come into the movie and provide not only economic viability, but also a performance as well.”
Go to www.mrlocario.com for sex, dating and relationship advice
Her Highness Anonymous asked: What about foreplay before marriage? How far is too far etc.? Answer: Too far is when a woman loses a man she hopes to keep. So, let’s examine foreplay in terms that tend to keep rather than chase off a man.
Foreplay delayed beats afterplay remorse.
Men see romance as necessary step to foreplay. Her first challenge is to distinguish romantic words that are acceptable from foreplay words, ideas, and conversations that should be unacceptable. If she can’t draw the line, confusion will haunt her attempts to govern her life while in foreplay mode.
By separating the romantic from foreplay, she decides what her standards are and lives up to them. We’re all more admirable, when we live up to something bigger and more worthwhile than ourselves. Chasteness qualifies in the male mind, but she has to convince herself first.
A man sees that she’s able to resist his greatest efforts, passions, promises, and commitment pledges. Consequently, he respects her fortitude in protecting what men imagine as her greatest asset. (He thinks: ‘She must be refusing other men too’. The more stringent her standards the more convincing they appear, and the more she stands out among other women.)
A lack of foreplay anchors a man alongside a woman with notions of romance in his head. The longer she defers any foreplay, the more romantically inclined he becomes with her. (Unless he’s only after sex and dropping her confirms that.)
Persistent sexual pressures in modern society confuse men about female values about sex. Women can end it by drawing this line to forestall foreplay: ‘Talk about sex and the public is okay, if relevant to what’s of interest to us at a particular time; IOW it’s awkward if we don’t. Talk about me and sex in any shade or color is never okay.’
Last week I went out with someone who wanted to see It’s Complicated. Let me just say that I applaud Hollywood for showing that mature, middle-age adults can experience lust and enjoy sex with other mature, middle-age adults.
Let me also say that I found the site of Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin making out to be repulsive. And I found the character of Baldwin’s young wife–who was the closest thing to a villain–totally hot.
I don’t find myself attracted to many women my age any more. And I certainly don’t blame anyone for being turned off by my expanding waistline, gray and thinning hair, and creaking knees.
So there you have it, my honest thoughts on sex and age.
Staying on holiday so far away from home has two disadvantages: The first is that people forget that there is indeed a time difference and that phoning me in the evening means waking me up after midnight. Well, one might say, that one could simply switch off the cell during night – and yes, that’s right. But – and this is the second disadvantage: climax points of disasters and worries happening normally especially, when one is far away – so one is needed the most, when one is far away… Or is that only my fantasy??
Nevertheless, Bangkok is starting to fill up again with people and cars and noise; normal life has come back to the city of angels. And checking the news I see our president dancing the Zulu wedding dance in full leopard outfit – his third wife, not to count the divorced one and the deceased one – and it is mentioned that he is already engaged with future wife number four. And it comes to my mind what that all means to fidelity in marriage – and the concept of marriage as we Catholics have. Not to mention that his now third wife has already three kids – so sexuality must have been practiced before marriage. Which is obvious for most Africans, as after paying the lobola the couple is allowed to engage in sexual activities before the wedding ceremony – old African traditions – once again – what does this mean to the more Eurocentric view of Catholicism which puts sex only into the marriage.
Here in Bangkok I am reading in the moment a book about katoeys – the third gender in Thailand – and once again I asked myself, what does the existence of such a third gender mean in the framework of Catholic moral theology.
So not, only sleepless nights, but also so many questions and so little answer… And all this has indeed also to do with the topic of HIV and AIDS and how we approach it.. Well, I still have more than a week time to find some…
Too insecure to be a cougar … Actress Kim Cattrall, who says she is not anything like her character Samantha Jones in Sex And The City. On screen Sex And The City’s Kim Cattrall is a man-eater par excellence, but the reality for this single woman is a lot different.The most naturally beautiful of the four lead actresses – Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon – has done much to liberate the sex lives of 40-something women. She even wrote books on the subject (Satisfaction: the Art of the Female Orgasm and Sexual Intelligence).
“But I think it’s since taken on a negative connotation – as a woman of a certain age hanging out in a club where she can pick up young men,” says Kim, who clearly feels there’s a desperation about this that’s a million miles from Samantha’s poise and sophistication.”I never thought that was what the character represented. I’m sure there are women who do that, but I never considered Samantha to be that. And certainly not myself; I mean, I could not go into a bar and pick up a man – that is so foreign to me it’s not even in my hemisphere. I am totally insecure. That is predatory behaviour, and I don’t consider myself a predator. In fact, I feel sometimes that I am the pursued,” she told The Mail On Sunday newspaper.
After three marriages and a recent break-up of her five-year relationship with chef Alan Wyse, 20 years her junior, Kim is single. Is she enjoying her freedom?
“Well, I’m not sure if I’m there yet. I’ve been so busy since we split that I haven’t had much time to adjust. I’m starting to date; it feels all right. It’s very hard to be private about that. Whenever you step out for a drink or dinner, whomever you’re with becomes your latest beau. Which is a bit of a laugh for my gay friends.”
GL and i spent three gloriously fun, intimate, affectionate, passionate, intriguing, arousing days together this past week. when in the presence of his son, we talked, walked, read, ate, shared seemingly mundane but joyous moments as a threesome.
as a twosome, we intertwined our bodies, caressing, kissing, touching, exploring, moving, moaning, entering, pushing. and in between, we shared our thoughts, our aspirations, our past, our present.
i was emotionally exhausted today after GL got up at 4 am to catch the return flight back to SF and back to his gf, his life, to a parallel universe from mine, where we will pick up where we left off, compartmentalizing our transactions, our conversations, our relationship(s). it didn’t hit me until i was talking to AdC that i was emotionally exhausted, sounding incoherent. she asked why i was so tired. i lied of course and said i’ve been run down by the holiday hustle and bustle. but the reality is, after processing it with the few braincells left, i’m exhausted because i’m emotionally spent. the days spent with GL were glorious. i enjoyed them so much so and i feel happy that we had that time/space to be with each other. but i also realized that i was holding my breath in some ways. i didn’t let myself become too deluded by our intimacy, sharing, affections. i didn’t want to sink too deep into this world of couple-hood that is ephemeral and nebulous. and i had to keep in check my feelings every time he mentioned his gf(s). it was such a constant internal, emotional negotiation for me. no wonder i’m so exhausted.
plus, i was processing so much information that he volunteered willingly. and on the one hand, i feel honored that he’s so willing to share and felt he can trust me. on the other hand, i felt so much weight on me…so much information that i wasn’t really able to process and had to wait for his trip to come to an end before i can really process and digest, and understand how all these information shape him. and how these information affected his attitude towards me/us (although i cannot confidently say there’s an “us”). i’m still processing.
i’ll have time to process this in the months to come, before i see him again in march. perhaps by then i’ll have a firmer grasp and deeper insight on how i should proceed with this situation we’re in. i do believe now too, although i have to just put it into practice, not to make any sweeping generalizations or grand decisions/finales based on the limited information i have. i do have to be more prudent and attuned. who’s to say how this will end, good or bad.
p.s. i think i said something about how he’s so american but now cannot remember what i was referring to.
p.p.s. we danced. we sang. we ate well. we got high and we got drunk. at least we have fun with each other.
My friend Keenan sent me a funny link to the top ten sex myths, and it inspired me to talk about a few more not mentioned.
1. Long sex is equivalent to good sex. Just because you can keep it up for a two-hour marathon doesn’t mean you should. It is very possible to have too much of a good thing, and sex that drags on for longer than it should falls under that category. As a guy, you might be thinking the longer the better (to stoke your ego and please your honey) but in truth, the average male reaches orgasm in 5-7 minutes, and the average female 10-15. After 20 minutes or so your girlfriend may still be putting on a nice performance for you, but she is probably really thinking about last nights episode of The Hills or wondering what she should have for breakfast. Go for quality, not quantity , and by that I mean wow her in the first fifteen minutes (if you can make it that long) and then call it quits. That way, you will leave her wanting more, and she will still be able to walk tomorrow.
2. Leave the lights on. When you’re getting down, you want to have confidence in yourself, and to be comfortable with the situation. If it takes dimming the lights to get there, so be it. Add to this the fact that a bright overhead light shining in your eyes will leave you squinting, and not so sexy. There are some of us (myself included) who do like to strut around naked in the bedroom, the living room, the supermarket (what?) with no clothes on and feel pretty good about it. However, no matter how good you think you look naked, you probably look even better with the lights dimmed or some candle action.
3. Food in bed is a good idea. I love eating…in the kitchen. Food in bed is sticky, slimy and an all around mess if taken in between the sheets. Leave the honey in its pot on the counter and the whipped cream in the fridge, please.
4. If you have regular sex, you don’t need to masturbate. I have a couple female friends who have gotten pissed at their boyfriends for giving themselves a little one on one time. Masturbating, even when you are in a relationship, is healthy for a variety of reasons. First of which is the fact that you can be selfish, and you don’t have to think about pleasing the other person while also pleasing yourself (which you DO do, right??!?!) Also, some alone time is good and healthy for a relationship, and this can be regarded with a weekly girls or guys night out, or a romp in the sheets with yourself. And most of all, masturbating (and all sexual activity in general) increases your sex drive. It’s like sugar (or crack) the more you get it, the more you want it. So really, you’re only making your sex life better. Tell that to your girlfriend the next time she finds your stash of porn and gets her panties in a twist.
5. All guys give good oral, right? Wrong. This one I want to take a moment to disagree with number 6 in mademen list, which was that giving good cunnilingus is easy. The guy who wrote that must have been bitter because he sucks at oral sex and is trying to cover for it. Or maybe he is just incredibly gifted and therefor arrogant..or maybe he is just really short and has a complex… Whatever that dudes problem is, it needs to be said that it is very, very possible to be gifted in that department, just as it is even more possible to be terrible at it. I’ve got a few female friends who are completely indifferent to oral sex and I am convinced it’s because the guys they have been with are incompetent or worse, lazy. Just like anything else, practice makes perfect. Communication will only improve the situation, so be sure to ask your girlfriend, wife, whatever, exactly what she likes. Ladies, tell your boyfriends what is working and what is not, don’t let him suffocate under the sheets without a clue. An easy way to do that is to get him down their and then be extremely er, vocal, when he is hitting a good spot.
Europeans too selfish to have children, says Chief Rabbi
Europe is “dying’’ because its secular residents are too selfish to have children, according to Lord Sacks, the Chief Rabbi.
The leader of Britain’s Jewish community claimed the continent’s population is in decline because people care more about shopping than the sacrifice involved in parenthood
Lord Sacks said: “Parenthood involves massive sacrifice of money, attention, time and emotional energy.
“Where today in European culture with its consumerism and instant gratification – because you’re worth it – where will you find space for the concept of sacrifice for the sake of generations not yet born?
“Europe, at least the indigenous population of Europe, is dying.”
Sexy, financially independent, mature and single woman! She has it all but on top of it she still can drive much younger men crazy, have them crawling to her feet begging for love and because she knows what she wants; she keeps the love she gets!
But if John’s relationship with Christ goes away, it would not only be the death of our sex life – it would be the death of our relationship. 
