A couple weeks ago when I was telling my friend about my New Year’s resolutions, I was explaining about the one where I’m no longer going to hook up with guys unless I’m in a committed relationship with them. My reason is because what I want is someone who likes me as much as I like them (or as close as you can get because the odds of it being totally equal are very slim…and immeasurable). She said there is this book called Choke by Chuck Palahniuk about a guy who has an addiction, and in the book the main character says how he needs someone who has a mutual addiction to him. When she said that, I was like, “Yes! That’s exactly it!” I had to read this book.
I always wanted to read a book by Palahniuk, and she was always talking about them, so she loaned me her copy of Choke. From the start I really loved Palahniuk’s style of writing. I mentioned to another friend that it is quite clear that he has a gift for making the reader read his book the way he wants it to be read…if that makes any sense. “Yes,” she assured me, “it makes sense.”
There is also no doubt that he is creative. The story had a lot of different ingredients to it, and the way they are put together is very digestible, and that’s actually really funny if you’ve read the book. (Read the book, and you’ll understand the funny.) The main character, Victor Mancini, is a sex addict who goes to sex addiction workshops just to hook up with other sex addicts. He works at a colonial park, but his real source of income is from those who have saved his life on the many occasions he goes to restaurants to choke and be saved. The money is a necessity to pay for his mother’s hospital fees. That is like a very small piece of the story. All of the characters are interesting and fully fleshed out, even the ones Victor has only brief encounters with.
The full quote that my friend was talking about was:
What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
When I read that, I was disappointed because I don’t feel that way at all. I only agree with the mutual addiction part. As for the rest of it…no…I run away from shit like that. If I wanted someone to need me like that, I’d still be with my ex-boyfriend. Personally, I like my freedom and respect those who do, too. I want someone I can respect and trust. I don’t want a fucking leech. Parasite. No.
Despite the disappointment of the quote, the reason I read the book in the first place, I’m glad I read it. It was an interesting look into the male psyche. Even though Victor Mancini isn’t necessarily your typical male, some of it is clearly true of males in general. Like how men have to think about nonsexual things while having sex or else they shoot their load too quickly. Although I already knew this from when I asked my friend what was wrong one time while we were having sex, and he told me he was trying to focus on other things because he was about to come. He breathed in deep, looked away, his eyes lit up, “Hey, coffee maker.”
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