Reclama la masina sau la infidelitate?

Sexul vinde. Oriunde si oricand. De la aparitia lui. In marketing, de la promovarea lui. Mai intai a fost promovarea pilulei contraceptive. Au urmat ca pe banda rulanta revolutia nou aparutului Playboy, Marylin Monroe, Cosmopolitan, supermodelele aproape goale, Bill Clinton si Monica Lewinsky, Britney si Madonna, videoclipuri si reclame. Marketingul abunda in sex. Daca vrei sa ai o campanie memorabila iar lumea sa-ti asocieze atribute ca actiune, pasiune, accesibil, trebuie doar sa construiesti o campanie bazata pe sex.

Atentie insa, de la sex grotesc la senzualitate e cale lunga iar fortarea granitelor privind nuditatea este sensibila. Campania trebuie sa aiba intriga, desfasurarea actiunii, punct culminant si deznodamant plus personajele potrivite sa exprime subliminal mesajul potrivit. Asa cum se pot remarca in spotul de mai jos, excelent realizat si care, desi in 90% din el a avut referiri la sex, finalul iti intipareste in minte masina si nu fata, ruperea de fantezii facandu-se printr-un text cat se poate de business: “At least there’s one thing you can rely on“.

[Via http://cdmr.wordpress.com]

Angelina: how can I love U

// // //

[Via http://vernude.wordpress.com]

Stories of a single 20-something hot chick

Hello out there cyberworld (Jesus, do they even still say that shit?) Veronica Lyon here… a/k/a one of The Girls. I don’t work in the biz but I’m here to offer another perspective… that of the single, sexy, twenty-something female. Ava has been gracious enough to let me be one of the voices on this glorious site of sin and so here I am.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be where I am right now, I’m here to tell you. It’s fucking fun. We’re not all on a search for a husband or baby daddy. Some of us are ecstatic to be exactly where we are. Ready to suck fuck or just plain tease.

I’m still not exactly sure what would cause someone to want to settle down in your early or mid 20’s. I remember dating a guy in college and my only concern with settling down was that I haven’t fucked enough people to be okay with just one person for the rest of my life! And I’ll tell ya, after I broke up with him I did indeed get A LOT more experience!

Ok, now just to throw a disclaimer out there I am not one of those chicks that’s into the one night stands or who hoes around. I simply enjoy the joys of experimentation and good sex. And let’s be honest, in your early 20’s have you really experimented enough to know what you like and what you don’t like? Not only sexually but personally… I think not. Shit, I’ve even met women in their early 20’s (and older!) who had never played with themselves before!! Crazy, I know.

So with all of that being said I look forward to sharing with you fabulous people what many women may be afraid to say. Apparently a woman strong in her sexuality is still taboo.

xoxo,

Veronica

[Via http://hookersdrugsandbooze.wordpress.com]

Mikandi, la primer App Store para adultos

No es una broma, realmente se ha creado una App Store donde sólo habrá contenido para adultos. Como es de esperarse, de momento sólo está disponible en dispositivos con Android, pero los desarrolladores dicen que con un iPhone con jailbreak podría funcionar más no es seguro.

El portal tiene el nombre de Mikandi y tiene toda una área de desarollo de aplicaciones de contenido erótico. No hay restricciones de ningún tipo, excepto la de la clasificación, tiene que ser contenido para adultos.

El objetivo es monetizar el mercado pornográfico en todas sus posibles presentaciones digitales, dentro de las capacidades de la tecnología móvil.

[Via http://dazangie.wordpress.com]

Aching muscles, happy girl

So, when I last left you all, I was about to receive Sir’s load in my mouth. I did. He had me kneel before him with my gaze averted until he was ready to shoot, and then asked to see my eyes. As I felt the warm cum splattering over my tongue, my eyes twinkled. I was blissful and so was he.

Our date was fun. Drinks with friends and then dinner alone together. The collar and cuffs made scant appearances throughout dinner. I was very self-conscious. Sir was greatly amused.

When we got back, as we had been drinking and have a rule about no percussive play other than on my ass and tits while intoxicated, Sir decided to do a little squatting training with me. He got on the bed, told me to mount him and fuck him in a squatting position. If I slowed down at all he would smack my tit or twist my nipple until I got back up to speed. He was pretty brutal. I tried my best to keep the rhythm, but my legs would start tiring fairly quickly. Once in a while he let me fall back and suck his cock. It was hard work. My hands were to be kept folded behind me the entire time and I was to thank Sir for every hit. I was tired but so pleased that I was able to get him off.

Lesson learned: determination. Also…I need to up my leg strength some more. Whew, the thighs are sore today!

I’m now off to get dressed in “something pretty” as Sir has requested, and to start dinner for when he gets home. It’s so funny how tiring but how comforting structure feels.

[Via http://rubysjourney.wordpress.com]

Letters From a Sugar Rush.

I hate those nights when I lie awake staring into the darkness with my heart pounding so loud I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears. It usually means I had too much sugar to eat too close to bedtime – tonight, I blame the insomnia on my own homemade pumpkin pie (which was totally worth the crash in insulin levels that I am now experiencing).

Why is it that nighttime is usually the only time we take to pause and evaluate the state of our lives? I suppose it’s the only time most of us stop running around doing the important business that life requires, but still – it’s awfully inconvenient. Nighttime is for sleeping, not self-reflecting. Yet my brain won’t let me sleep.

A couple thoughts bothering me this particular night:

Every time I return to my hometown, I’m instantly struck with loneliness as I realize that I really don’t have any friends here anymore. I did, once. I had enough friends in high school – I certainly wasn’t popular, but what’s popular when your graduating class is only around 150 people? But as soon as college struck, they all but dissipated. Is it my fault? Theirs? Is it just the natural course of growing older? I’m not sure. I know quite a few people who love going home because their social schedules are instantly filled with catch-up visits with old friends. When I go home, I sit by my fireplace and read and watch movies with my mom and my brother.

Does that make me a loser?

The thing is, I have the most wonderful best friend in the entire world – better than anyone could ask for. I’ve known him about 9 years now, and we’ll be soul mates for life. And he’s more than enough to satisfy my back-home friend needs.

But still… when he’s not around, I’m not going to any parties. I’m not having lunch with anyone. I don’t even have anyone to call. I just get to wonder what I did wrong, because I seem to have lost anyone I used to know in this dusty old town.

Along the line of parties… I don’t get them. I like parties every now and then, with people I know, but I’ve just never been a big party-er. I don’t like to drink, I don’t do drugs, and the claustrophobic superficiality of most large parties makes me want to cry to the heavens for the Gatsby-esque loneliness that encompasses me. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I don’t like them – it’s difficult for me to feel really close to anyone. Part of it has to do with the barriers I throw up, wishing to save others from the ill fate of having to know the truths that reside within me. And part of it has to do with the fact that I just don’t think most people are genuine. I don’t want to have anything to do with someone who can’t look me in the eye and be real. I guess friendly frivolities aren’t my thing. So why do I belabor the fact that I feel so disconnected?

Also, I don’t understand drunk hook-ups. Everyone’s had them, I know. And I’m not being judgmental here, I’m just trying to understand them. Because I really don’t get how they happen. I’ve only made out with someone whilst drunk once, and I instantly regretted it. I felt so vile, so disgusting, and all I did was kiss the guy. I just hated the fact that he wouldn’t be able to pick me out in a line of girls. I meant nothing to him, nor he to me, and I found that revolting. I suppose the fact that it was the worst, sloppiest kiss of my life doesn’t help support the cause. But I made a vow – never again. I’m too valuable to sell myself so cheaply.

Ha. I just reread that last sentence. I sound like a prude, or a snob, or just utterly self-absorbed. Why am I so self-important that I feel like a kiss from me has to be earned?

I heard a story today about a girl who was willing to give up her virginity to someone who was drunk. And that just made me sad. Sex is great, people – trust me, I’m a big fan. But again, I think the boy should be able to remember it. He should know that he’s the luckiest boy on the planet to even be looking at you.

On a totally random side note, in two days I will be 22 years old. And I will be celebrating my birthday at home, with only my mom, brother, and best friend beside me. And I will be up at four a.m. doing Black Friday shopping. I hate my birth date.

And finally, I have the background vocals from Pink’s catchy song Please Don’t Leave Me stuck in my head, and I blame them in large part for keeping me awake. Ba da da, ba da da – DA da da da da.

[Via http://missamyk.wordpress.com]

In New Zealand: Opotiki teens jailed for raping Japanese tourist

A Japanese tourist was brutally raped and robbed in her bedroom by two teenage gang prospects, as her Opotiki host family watched television in another room.

Today her attackers Ranginui Rahi, 18, and Mark Hati, 16, both of Opotiki, were convicted and sentenced in Whakatane District Court to nine years’ imprisonment for rape and sexual violation. Judge Peter Rollo also sentenced them to four years’ jail for aggravated robbery to be served concurrently.

“It was a disgusting, brutal, degrading crime – a prolonged and violent attack on a young Japanese tourist to our country,” Judge Rollo said. He said Hati and Rahi had damaged their 22-year-old victim’s mana as well as physically injuring her internally and externally. “You treated her with degrading violence for your own sexual pleasure.”

Flanked by police officers, the teenagers stood with blank faces and hands clasped in front of them as the judge told how they broke into the Ford Street house on the night of August 31.

Rahi was armed with a baseball bat while Hati had a piece of firewood. Judge Rollo said they saw the host family watching TV and crept into the girl’s room to steal a laptop they had seen through the window.

Finding her in the room, they shut the door and each raped her several times and forced her to perform oral sex on them, all the while threatening her and searching the room for valuables, Judge Rollo said.The pair were caught by police two days later and entered guilty pleas soon after.

The judge said Hati had been prospecting for the Mongrel Mob since he was 13 and said he expected to become a patched member as a result of this offending when he was released from prison.

Detective Senior Sergeant Greg Standen said police would convey the outcome to the victim, who was still in New Zealand, as soon as she could be contacted and they had also been in touch with the Japanese Consulate.

bron: www.nzherald.co.nz - NZPA

[Via http://wocview.wordpress.com]

So I have Some Things To Say...

I’m not a feminist, I wouldn’t say that. However, I am a little pissed though. I read this article in Elle about how woman on a whole are overall more depressed in this day and age than ever before, the last time we were happy statistically was in the 70s. Woman are medicated more NOW THAN EVER. That disturbs me. Another fact was that men are increasingly more happy now than ever…Umm…well I have some things to say.

I think woman are subjected to this oversexed society and they feel the need to keep up with it. We feel self conscience if we are in granny panties, and we feel sexy with the backlash of slutty when we wear thongs. What do you do? Woman have to carefully tread these waters. The worst part is we do it to ourselves, we talk a whole lotta smack about each other.

It’s not just woman, it’s men too. Men put a hell of a lot of expectations on woman. Not woman,let me rephrase, the pressure is on girls. Young, 14 possibly 13 year old girls feel unnattractive if they aren’t giving head to some stupid boy. On that note, do you really need to feel attractive at 14? You have fucking braces, shut up and play with pokemon cards. I KNOW I DID. So…in an effort to feel ‘in the loop’ you put all these notches on your belts? By the time girls are fucking 14 they are the biggest sluts, how could you not be though, when your role models are fuckingi doucherags like Britney Spears or the pussycunt dolls?

Boys are sluts too, boys get the fuck around/have always gotten around. It is a sick, sick age. No one in society sees a problem with a 14 year old boy who has had sex with multiple girls. The girls however are the ones that get this stamp slapped across their reputation. Let me put this out there, I think you are ALL sluts, boys and girls alike.

So, we need a solution. Someone needs to guide these impressionable girls. I propose self asteem be a mandatory class. I have had teachers…a teacher that I think has a higher calling. We need a sex education class teaching self asteem as well as a debunking of myths. The truth is, not everyone is doing it. I’m not doing it, then again I’m not cool, a lot of boys I know aren’t doing it. TV is doing it, but don’t let yourself get used. So, the fact is there will never be a class teaching self asteem, and self worth to this lost generation, but if you are a 14 year old girl, here is what I see.

1. You don’t have to wear thongs to be/feel hot, you don’t have to be a slut to be hot. I know, crazy thought.
2. Don’t use cell phones/texting.
3. Don’t post sexy pictures of yourself on your myspace.
4. Be fucking original, don’t have myspace in the first place.
5. If you are a guy, we are not here for your entertainment. Back off, these girls are fourteen…fourteen, and i’m sure some of you aren’t.
6. It is ok if are sexually active, at a certain age(meaning not 14…), don’t let anyone make you feel bad about being sexual, ever.
7. Keep yourself special, however it is you feel special. Never let it be through the eyes of another person though. Don’t give yourself away to the first guy who says, “LOL, tittyfuck, bukkake.” If you are that stupid, than maybe you do deserve to be called a slut.
8. Guys should have self respect too, though most don’t. Just because they get away with it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t shoot for something better than what is essentially a slut.
9. A lot of people DO want to fuck you, that does NOT mean you have to fuck them, ya feel me?
10. Don’t idolize anyone. Truth is, you’re probably the shit and they are probably shit.

I’m gonna have some 14 year old scene girl call me a fat, ugly, virgin after I post this…Here is a premtive strike, YOU’RE A WHORE, AND YOUR PARENTS HATE YOU, AND YOU HAVE A RACOON ON YOUR HEAD.

[Via http://spazztasticallyuntitled.wordpress.com]

for the hair-down-there????

This is gonna crack you up. Or maybe have you dashin’ out the door to git yours. Or maybe…never return to this blog again because the author has lost her mind and you’re not gonna take it anymore. Whatever the case, it’s all in good fun…so whatever floats your boat, ya know?

Anyway, not long ago I came upon a posting by my crazy friend Michele (her blog is called “BodaciousBoomer” and it is a HOOT!} who wrote about this product called ‘BettyBeauty‘. I was howling the entire time I read. It wasn’t that I couldn’t believe someone had actually come up with such a product, it was the way in which Michele shared her perspective. Truth be told, I always figured it was just a matter of time before someone came up with such a product.

The fact that the product comes (originally) from Italy makes it even more hilarious to me. Leave it to those crazy Italian women to want to “match” their hair-down-there. They’re so stylish, those gorgeous Italianas.

And honestly,  it’s not like it should be a surprise. There was even an episode on Sex and the City where Samantha had attempted to color hers, (and I think she either burned it off or it turned out a horrible color. Can’t recall now. I just remember that it had me in stitches.) When your hair on your head starts to fade, it only makes sense that your hair-down-there will too. Or worse! Sometimes it doesn’t so much fade as it does turn stark-raving white. It’s quite the shock! And don’t even think about pullin’ that sucker out. OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. Not a good idea.

So anyhooo00….this woman discovers this little secret while she’s in Rome, goes back to New York, and decides she’s going to develop her own to market in the states. Well, of course she is. There is no such product available (in the U.S.) at this point, and she can see the potential for a gazillion dollar market. Not rocket science to figure that one out, ya know?

And so that’s what she did. She did the research, got a bunch of other folks on board (gee. ya think that was a struggle? NOT!) and began her mission to spread the word that we can all have our hair-down-there match the hair on our pretty little heads. But that’s not all. If you’re feelin’ a bit on the wild side, you can even get ‘wild’ colors…pink, green, lilac…(wowza! can you imagine?!). AND…oh no…she didn’t stop there. She even came up with some specifically for men. Now, I gotta tell ya, while it isn’t hard for me to imagine women wanting to do such a thing, I do find it a bit staggering to think about men doing it. Call me sexist…but I just have a hard time picturing this. But then…I’m into cowboys, so it just seems a bit inconceivable to me. A cowboy with color-coordinated hair? Don’t think so.

When I first heard about this, I posted a little blurb on my FaceBook page about it. The first person to respond was, of all people, my brother. He wrote, “what if you don’t HAVE ANY hair-down-there?” HUH? The immediate visual I had in my head was NOT a pretty picture. COME ON, BRO! Did ya really have to go there????

{I wrote him back and told him to get a henna tattoo of an uzi. He’s all into that Mafia Wars stuff. Figured it’d be a perfect fit. I got no response back. Go figure.}

So now I’m really curious. I wonder how many women do this? I wonder if anyone notices when they do. I wonder if the woman who came up with the product is a gazillionaire yet. But mostly I wonder…

WHY????

[Via http://joyzachoice.wordpress.com]

Găuri, cercuri şi băncuţe

Viaţa este ca o cutie de bomboane de ciocolată, niciodată nu ştii ce găseşti în ea…

Miercuri aştepţi să se facă sâmbăta, sâmbăta nu-ţi ies socotelile şi aştepţi să se facă luni să o iei de la capăt, faci acelaşi lucru, aceeaşi rutină, aceleaşi greşeli, la capătul aşteptărilor aşteaptă aceleaşi dezamăgiri, dorinţa devine soră cu durerea, cad frunzele şi se înfig ca nişte ace, transpiri, să se facă miercuri, să se facă joi, vineri seara aluneci în noapte spre dimineaţa de sâmbătă când te culci cu acelaşi gust amar în suflet, obosit şi visând la o duminică cu soare…
Stau pe o bancă, zilele sunt ca nişte bănci, ne mutăm de pe una pe alta, uneori stăm singuri, alteori se mai aşează cineva, schimbăm sau nu două vorbe, ne oferim unul altuia bomboane de ciocolată, unele dulci, altele amare, apoi ne mutăm cu o zi, cu o bancă mai încolo, nici nu realizăm că băncile sunt aşezate în cerc, ne învârtim în acelaşi cerc cum şoricelul se învârte pe roata lui din cuşcă în speranţa că aleargă şi evadează, că se trezeşte pe o altă roată, un alt cerc, o altă cuşcă, poate mai dulce.

A pândit cu suspiciune, ieri, luminile necinstite de toamnă târzie… A recunoscut bănuiala aia a cumpărătorului de iluzii ascultând oferta mieroasă a vânzătorului de iluzii, dar care ştie că nu poate să refuze ispita, viciul.
Prea puţini ştiu ce e în sufletul meu.

- De ce vrei să distrugi mereu doi oameni care se iubesc?

Broderie de vise, cuvinte, frânturi risipite-n ceaţa care sper să nu se lipească de suflet… Dimineaţa de duminică se agaţă ca o vampă de gâtul meu, genul acela de fată pe care nu ai duce-o acasă să o prezinţi părinţilor, dar nu te-ai dezlipii de ea nici pentru o secundă…

Ştiaţi că pe mine filmele cu o uşoară tentă filozofică mă fac să gândesc prea mult? Să-mi pun întrebări existenţiale? Bine, de fapt nici nu trebuie să aibă tentă filozofică.
Chiar dacă o dau iar pe siropuri… băi, tre’ să recunoaştem uneori e nevoie şi de miere şi zahăr, nu numai sarea-n bucate – că destulă acreală pe lume.
…am mers până mi-au amorţit picioarele.
Lumea asta în care încerc să mă mai mişc este prea zbuciumată, prefer să visez că îl aştept pe Moş Nicolae…
Trăiam ca păsările călătoare. Iarna aşteptăm vara.
Luna noiembrie se zice ploaie. Şi ziua se spune gri. Iar norii… Norii se spun unul pe celălalt şi se-ndeamnă la rele.
Indiferent pe care bancă şi lângă cine mă mai trezesc, luni, vineri sa poimarţi… sunt recunoscător pentru zilele care se scurg aparent la fel şi par că au trecut degeaba…pentru oamenii care nu mă judecă şi nu mă schimbă şi cu care pot să mă răsfăţ.
Când şi-au pierdut oamenii culoarea?
Oamenii ar trebui să îşi dea voie să fie liberi. Liberi să iubească sau să nu dea doi bani. Liberi să alerge sau să stea pe o bordură cu o bere la picior şi o ţigară lipită de buze, uitându-se la alţii din jurul lor.
Vrei mai mult, mai mult şi nimic nu te poate opri.

Un principiu pe care-l ţin minte de la ora de economie, zicea ceva de “plăcerea continuă duce la diminuarea oricărei plăceri”, de unde forţând un pic logica, rezultă că o plăcere e cu atât mai intensă cu cât e mai rară şi mai redusă ca durată.

…revin la faza cu Universul care are el grijă din când în când să simţim că totuşi… merită! şi nu suntem chiar singuri acasă.

[Via http://brushvox.wordpress.com]

Rape victim's parents charged with abuse-CNN.

Parents like these are to be shot .
Story:
CNN — The parents of an 8-year-old Liberian girl who was allegedly sexually assaulted by four boys in July were arrested Friday on child abuse charges, according to Arizona police.
The father, 59, and mother, 47, were arrested Friday in Phoenix on seven counts of child abuse, said police spokesman Sgt. Andy Hill. Police were waiting for them at their home after the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office issued the warrants.
The names of the parents have been withheld by CNN to avoid identifying the daughter, who is an alleged rape victim.
The child abuse investigation was based on documented incidents from the Phoenix Police Department and numerous referrals to Arizona Child Protective Services dating to 2005.
Police said the parents, refugees from the West African nation, used sticks, wires and their fists to hit their young daughter.
Witnesses told CNN affiliate KTVK that the parents left their daughter wandering their apartment complex alone at night, begging for food.
See KTVK’s coverage
Details of the girl’s assault last summer shocked the nation. She was allegedly lured to a storage shed, pinned down and gang-raped by four boys, none of them older than 14.
The parents said they felt they had been shamed by their child and blamed her for being victimized. As a result, the girl was taken from her home and placed in state custody.
Liberian President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf said at the time that the parents’ reaction was wrong and that they needed counseling.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/21/arizona.abuse.arrests/index.html

[Via http://ramanan50.wordpress.com]

A whole lotta banning goin' on

1. Muslim nations seek to ban blasphemy -

Four years after cartoons of the prophet Muhammad set off violent protests across the Muslim world, Islamic nations are mounting a campaign for an international treaty to protect religious symbols and beliefs from mockery – essentially a ban on blasphemy that would put them on a collision course with free speech laws in the West.

2. Texas bans all marriage – Religious fanatics aren’t the only ones who can slip nonsense into a bill:

When the people of Texas passed a 2005 constitutional amendment to “protect” marriage, those clever, clever gays somehow forced them to word it poorly enough that it might prohibit ALL marriage in the state, same-sex or otherwise:

The amendment, approved by the Legislature and overwhelmingly ratified by voters, declares that “marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman.” But the troublemaking phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares:

“This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.”

Architects of the amendment included the clause to ban same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships. But Radnofsky, who was a member of the powerhouse Vinson & Elkins law firm in Houston for 27 years until retiring in 2006, says the wording of Subsection B effectively “eliminates marriage in Texas,” including common-law marriages.

Noël sex heureux!

Besoin de te détendre, noël en famille c’est bien mais t’as le bout du gland en feu ?

J’ai pour toi la solution pour déshinniber ton corps et ton ésprit.Les plus chaudes de toutes les filles du net, sur un portail de grande qualitée.

Elles ont la chatte en feu de quoi te réchauffer la queue aussi souvent que tu le voudras…tout au long de l’hiver
rends leurs une petite visite x, sa leurs fera plaisir

EPISODE 118 - from Busted to Bulgakov

Look, we know that ALL of you are in too great a tizzy about the impending release of the new Twilight film to concentrate on Answer Me This! Episode 118, but try. Just for us. Even though we’re not all sparkly and bouffant:

This week we speak of:

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
Smeg fridges
the True Blood theme tune
Helen’s dad vs. Peter Pan
the colour of Jesus
Lois Duncan
stupid terrorists
Dermot O’Leary
Red Dwarf
and
fun things to do in Birmingham (UK, not Alabama).

Additionally, Olly dreams of walking through a sewer with Dan Ackroyd and a Ninja Turtle; Helen swoons over a Come Dine With Me contestant who seems to have OCD and too few hobbies; and Martin the Sound Man brings up The Master and Margarita as casually as Helen’s baby nephew brings up his lunch. Just in case you were wondering, he is THE CLEVEREST MAN IN THE WORLD. Try to forget it. He won’t let you.

Please, as ever, send in YOUR QUESTIONS – via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877 – and if you want to tell us about your funny or far-fetched nickname like Smeg did this week, please do so in a comment upon this post. But it has to be a good one, OK? “My name’s David but my friends call me Dave” will not cut it! You’re competing against an adult man named Smeg, remember.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

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The Mystery of Intimacy

This marital intimacy stuff is not the work of straight lines.  It’s not A + B = C. And yet, we forge ahead because there is no “behind” to return to.

Seeking sex, I force myself to turn to the next activity in the Art of Sexual Ecstasy. We are now in the chapter entitled, Skills for Enhancing Intimacy.

But it is already 8:30 pm and these activities are not only psychologically demanding, but time consuming. “Allow at least an hour per person,” the author suggests.

Once again, I toss the book aside, only to pick it up again and tell my husband to blindfold himself while I go gather “sensory awakening” materials.

We don’t have grapes or chocolate mints so I substitute thin apple slices and chocolate sauce along with summer’s wild blackberries drenched in brandy and maple syrup.

Although I am cynical, the creative planner in me is engaged and she allows me provide my husband with an hour of music, touch, taste, sound and smell–after which I am to whisper words of love into alternating ears before removing his blindfold.

It is painful for me to witness how hard it is to speak these words.

When the ritual is complete, my husbands face is awash in gratitude and I feel like crap.  Where am I?  Where is my heart connection to this man I claim to love?

Casey tells me that he almost cried three times, and although the initial sex drive that prompted this act is now completely diminished, I initiate making love, exploring yet another dance of sexual expression together.

After orgasm, I feel Casey disconnect completely, unsure of himself, unable to keep his heart so wide open in the depth of his own vunerability.

In response, I am hurt and angry.  The night ends badly.

WTF! I think.  Is this intimacy?

We turn away from each other,  disoriented and afraid in this new place we claim to want.

But when the next afternoon roles around, Casey moves toward my face for a kiss, I feel a mutual softening that wasn’t there before. It reminds me of the Rumi poem about the earth.

How should spring bring forth
a garden on hard stone?
Become earth, that you may
grow flowers of many colors.
For you have been heart-breaking rock.
Once for the sake of experiment,
be earth.

And I realize, that although none of these activities directly provide the jewel of intimacy we are seeking, they do seem to loosen the hardened soil of our relationship in some mysterious way.

It’s easy to throw up my hands and feel hopeless in the face of so many stones between us– especially since I hadn’t known they were there until this journey had begun.

When evening falls and Casey asks if I’d like to be on the receiving end of last night’s ritual, I offer a strong, “No,”  and yet, I realize that I will have to surrender to a softer “Yes,” before we make love again.

Kelly Salasin

To follow this journey of marital intimacy from the most recent postings, click the links below.

82 Pages till Sex

Baba Yaga Love

On 19 Years of Marriage

Man I feel like a Woman - Okinawa Goby

Sex-changing fish Trimma okinawae can change its sex back andforth from male to female and then to male serially, dependingon the social status in the harem. T. okinawae is well equippedto respond to its social status by possessing both ovarian andtesticular tissues even though only one gonad remains activeat one time.

more here  http://fishbase.sinica.edu.tw/Summary/SpeciesSummary.php?id=7222

by remora and Arthur

Hug like you mean it

Brewster Rockit, by Tim Rickard

If you want to be a better lover, then stop thinking about how to give good head and start thinking about how to give good hugs.

Never underestimate the power and need for a hug. A genuine hug, with no ’sexy strings’ attached, can do wonders for your relationship. Our tips for a good hug with your partner:

• Give your whole attention to the hug. (That is, don’t do a ‘grab and run’ as you’re heading out the door.)
• Really wrap both arms around and hold firmly (but not too tightly!).
• Be spontaneous with the hug as well as intuitive.
• To really connect, hold the hug for at least one or two seconds longer than you would normally do it.
• Release gently. You want to ease out of the embrace rather than have your partner feel that you are ‘done’ with it. (As though it’s something you can now check off your list!)
• Aim to hug many times more often than you aim to have sex.
• Hug for no good reason other than that it feels good!

This feel good Free Hugs Campaign YouTube classic has been viewed over 50 million times! Even just watching the hugging gives you a feel good rush

If you’ve had trouble giving hugs in the past, then you can go here for instructions on how to give a good hug.

And you can go to GoComics for more comic strips about hugs!

Sex Records. Wonderful track records from different people around the World

By David Strovny

Have you ever wondered what other people get up to in their spare time? Why, competing in world sex records, of course. Here are some of the top guys and gals showing the rest of us how it can be done, should we care to try. There are also a selection of the weird and wonderful body parts and acts that have befallen our fellow men and women, and we’ve listed them all in our list of unusual sex records.
Most children fathered
Moulay Ismail Ibn Sharif, Morocco

Moulay Ismail Ibn Sharif set this sex record in the 17th century when he added a whopping 1,042 recorded offspring to his harem of about 500 wives. He had been a busy boy — what with all those weddings, births and, no doubt, a few funerals. If you’re wondering who this guy is, he was the second ruler of the Moroccan Alaouite dynasty. He is known as a great figure in Moroccan history, but not only for his contribution to the birth statistics; he contributed to the lasting respect of Moroccan independence.

Amazingly, the woman to give birth to the most children was a peasant’s wife from Shuya (east of Moscow); in 27 births between 1725 and 1765, she expelled 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets.

The biggest and smallest penises
Barnacle, The Ocean

Because measuring penises is often hard to do accurately — yes, we know you exaggerate — there isn’t much reliable data on this topic for the 21st century. The most impressive medically verified penis sets the sex record at 13.5 inches (34 cm) long and 6.25 inches (16 cm) wide, measured in the early 20th century by Dr. Robert L. Dickenson (seriously!).

The smallest penis ever recorded sets the sex record at 0.39 inches (1 cm). There are a couple of conditions that can leave a man lacking so dramatically in his nether region. One such condition is having a micropenis, where most of the penis actually resides inside the body. The other is a condition called congenital hypoplasia, where the glans of the penis is attached directly to the pubis, so the shaft of the penis doesn’t exist.

In the entire animal kingdom, the humble barnacle has the largest penis in proportion to its body size: A barnacle’s penis is 42 times its own body length. In second place, the Argentine Blue-bill duck has the longest penis relative to its body size. It has the added benefit of being shaped like a corkscrew, so it not only deposits sperm but helps to “screw” any other bird’s semen out. Considering most birds don’t even have penises, the Blue-bill is doing alright.

Whales win the biggest awards, with Rorqual whales sporting 10-foot (3 m) long schlongs, which can be up to 1 foot (30 cm) in diameter. Hippopotamuses and elephants come in at a far second, with penises of up to 2 feet (60 cm) long.

The woman with the largest vagina goes to a Scottish giant named Anna Swan. She and her giant husband had a giant baby together. The giant baby’s head was 19 inches (48 cm) in circumference. You do the math.

Farthest ejaculation
Horst Schultz, USA

The farthest male ejaculation ever recorded was 18 feet (6 m) and was achieved by Horst Schultz. The farthest a woman was recorded to ejaculate was 10 feet (3 m). The most ejaculations for a man in one hour is 16.

In other semen-related sex records, a woman, Michelle Monahan of L.A., swallowed 1.7 pints (almost 1 liter) of semen and had to get her stomach pumped — she became the first person to have this recorded, and therefore wins the award for the woman to swallow the most semen.

The woman to set the world record for most sexual partners in one day shagged a whopping 620 men in 24 hours. A male porn star by the dubious name of Jon Dough was supposed to have sex with 101 women in one day, but only managed to do 52 — he did the others two weeks later.
Biggest orgy
Volunteers, Japan
A recent achievement for Japan in the world of sex records was achieving the biggest orgy ever recorded, with 250 couples going at it in an extremely orderly fashion.
Youngest parents
Shaun Steard, England
Lina Medina, Peru

Shaun was 12 years old when he got the world record for being the youngest father, but it is believed that there are younger undocumented fathers out there.

The youngest girl to give birth was 5-year-old Lina Medina, born in Peru in 1933. Incredibly this girl began menstruating at age 3, and despite being impregnated in the “usual” way, has never revealed who the father is. Her father was arrested and imprisoned on suspicion of incest, but was later released due to lack of evidence. The baby was delivered by caesarean because Lina’s hips were too narrow.
Most penis removals
King Menephta, Egypt

In 1300 BC, King Menephta came home from battle after successfully beating the Libyans. To celebrate his success, he asked his men to chop off the penises of each member of the defeated army. He arrived home with 13,000 penises. His ancient monument at Karnak has a detail of which penis belonged to whom — Libyan generals, Libyans, Sirculians, Etruscans, and Greeks.

breaking records
The world is never without weird, stupid or funny anecdotes and world records. Most of these sex records are unproven, but who cares; the fact that someone somewhere thought theirs was the biggest, longest, fattest, thinnest or ugliest brings a new dimension to the world of record-setting.

Source for further Reading

Strovny, David AskMen.Com Nov. 15, 2009

Taylor, Llyn Madame Rouge Australia Nov. 15, 2009

THE DANGERS OF 'HOOKING UP' PART I

From Focus on The Family

Key points :

• Dopamine -A Natural neurotransmitter chemical high secreted by  our brain -an excitant.

• Dopamine rewards you for any exciting activities ,so it would work for whatever excites you ,Sex,driving fast,drugs,etc…

• But we end up chasing the Dopamine high in sex and not the relationship!

• Dopamine also works as a natural-bonding chemical -For Relationships.

How it works :

• When you drive fast ,dopamine is secreted making you want to drive faster in order to repeat that behavior and after a while you began to consider driving fast as normal,because the connection in your brain has been strengthened for that ,without considering the consequences.

How it works for Sex:

• People that are having casual sexual relationship are robbing this mechanism of its function,changing it and the ability to bond is forever influenced.

Bonding between Human:

• People with multiple past relationships before they marry are more likely to divorce because they re ability to connect has been damaged and they often don’t bond as well.

• The high divorce rate is maybe related to that loss of that mechanism of bonding,connect which is a vital part of what we are as Human beings.

• Teens Biology is quite high in Dopamine,as if it was given to them to help prepare for new adventures ahead.
• Society,Scientists, Evolutionists,Intellectuals have been telling us for the last decades that we should just do it ! Its a normal thing to do as we feel like it .

• But ‘research ‘ shows that Human beings are designed to have one partner for life! Totally the opposite conclusion of what’s being taught.

• If you consider sex as just as physical activity then to protect yourselves would be : condom,pills etc…

• But if you consider sex as more than physical,but emotional then to how to do protect yourself .

• Girls are 3 times more likely to be depressed than boys -2x- but boys 8 tx more likely to commit suicide!

• Sex is not only a physical act but one that involves the whole person.

• Definition of Sex : Not just vaginal penetration ,but any activity that stimulates you to arouse you for sexual satisfaction,whether alone or with someone else.

• Mind and Body are involved!

WATCH HERE

married women...

One of the things in my life I don’t understand, but something that has happened with a degree of regularity.. if I have really serious chemistry with a  woman, and/or she shows very noticeable interest in me, then chances are she’s married!

This goes back awhile.. hmmm.. let’s start in 1997. I met the girlfriend (attractive, long-haired brunette, very nice, intelligent…) of a dude I was hanging out with, who he married fairly soon after I met her.. she and I clicked right away, and for a couple years after they were married, I hung out with them off and on, but it always felt awkward being around her. We seemed to have much more in common with each other than she and her husband did. And, she kept … looking at me a certain way. I eventually stopped spending time with her and her husband, and this was one of the reasons.

2001..I got to know a female co-worker – just talking in the break room mostly.. over the course of several months.. and she got to flirting a bit, I didn’t mind… and eventually she asked me to sleep with her. I didn’t, but we once did more than flirting. She turned out to be not at all enjoyable, and our work schedules changed, and we didn’t see each other anymore, and that was that.

2004 – a very large black woman – a co-worker at another job, kept flirting with me and wouldn’t stop.. even pinched my ass twice though I’d warned her off before, and had not encouraged her. (I didn’t mind her being black, but kinda minded her being married, and really minded her being obese) I had to file a sexual harassment claim against her. Then she backed off. I’ve run into her unintentionally here in town a few times since 2004, and each time she’s given me her phone nbr. without me asking for it.

2005.. well, with this next woman., she didn’t show definite interest, in the same way, but we had some serious chemistry! I met her at a Catholic class – she was one of the leaders. I was contemplating becoming Catholic at the time, and the class was mandatory for adults who wanted to enter the Church, or were thinking about it. She was quite good looking (long-haired, married brunette #2), and I certainly didn’t have my mind on God. It was difficult to be around her. It is quite rare for me to meet a woman I like right away like that.

2006 – I was in a behavioral health hospital for 6 days. I admitted myself due to extreme symptoms of problems I’ve talked about in previous blogs. One of the patients was an attractive 43 year-old blonde woman who I had just instant mutual attraction with.. so fast, I couldn’t believe it. One of my fantasies was to fool around with a woman inside a psychiatric ward if I was ever a patient in one.. and it happened! She was much better for me than the medications and talk therapy, even though we didn’t do much at all, being under almost constant surveillance, but it was enough! She, of course, was married. She turned out to be far more nuts than me, though, and also had plans to move far out of town just as soon as she got out of the hospital, so there was no future in this either.

Note.. for me it’s often either a lustful feeling or a romantic feeling if I meet a woman who really moves me. I’ve almost never felt really turned on sexually and at the same time had a strongly romantic feeling.

But, even if it’s just a sexual feeling that is pretty intense, I still have to like the woman somewhat.. in other words, I won’t want to hop in bed with a woman who just looks good.. it’s not just a physical thing.. I have to like talking with her somewhat too. One woman I went out with a few times 2 years ago turned me on a lot, but turned me off even more because of her rather poor manners and terribly foul language. That didn’t work for me.

Another interesting thing I’ve noticed.. it isn’t just looks that get me really turned on. An average looking woman can have a lot of sexual energy that I can somehow sense, and she can know how to touch a guy in such a way…even just a simple touch. I am guessing there are women out there who are the opposite – who are quite stunningly attractive,  but without that amazing energy, and who are not worth a damn in bed. It ain’t all looks, ladies. I have to be at least a little attracted to a woman, but I’m at least a little attracted to probably 60 percent or more of the women out there who are under.. 50, lets say.. and a few that are over 50.

Ok.. moving on.. 2008 – a woman in my singing class would flirt me – initiate the flirting, but this was a more innocent kind of flirting..  (long-haired, married brunette #3), who looked a bit like the one from the Catholic church.

This woman from the singing class.. wow…

I was at a church near my house for a school concert – the auditorium on campus was being remodeled, so concerts were at various churches.. I was standing in the foyer (that’s the room inside the main church building that is sort of a waiting/socializing area before one enters the sanctuary.  I didn’t know this woman was there. I felt a tap on my shoulder. She walked past me fast, then turned her head back toward me and gave me an amazing smile and I’ve never felt such a sublime feeling like that before.. indescribable, really.

She would seek me out during breaks in class sometimes. It got to be very frustrating for me.  She was one of the reasons I dropped the singing class.

Earlier this year, I was in a completely platonic relationship with a married woman I was t not attracted to – which was why it was platonic. However, she got to be annoying and unreliable, so I stopped hanging out with her.. But for awhile though, it was strange.. almost like telepathy… we’d be thinking about some of the same things at the same time, or both be reading about obscure topics at the same time, and had some common interests.. very peculiar. I was secretly quite pissed off we had all these things in common, and for awhile, had such great rapport.. I wished all this had been with someone I really wanted to date and have sex with. .. So aggravating!

Earlier this year, I met yet another married woman I had pretty good chemistry with. She was the wife of a dude I hung out with for awhile, until he did some things that really pissed me off, including not treating his wife well. I think she would have been interested in me if I’d stuck around.

Also this year… via email, I’ve been corresponding for awhile with a woman who turns out to be married.. this is innocent enough, and I don’t mind at all. She’s likely to read this blog – hello to you and you know who you are.. She’s the coolest email pen pal I’ve had so far – going by her letters, I’d say she’s an amazing woman.

And last night.. I went to an art club meeting, and sat next to a woman I’d met earlier at a drum circle. I knew she was married. I also strangely had a hunch she might take a certain interest in me, even though she hadn’t before.. I’ve occasionally had sort of a sixth sense about women.. it’s rare, but it happens.. I had only been sitting down for a few minutes, hadn’t said or done anything remotely flirtatious,  just was looking through a photo album of her art work, and while pointing out some photos,  she leans over and rests her arm on mine even though she didn’t need to, and kept the contact for awhile. Then, when she left, she caressed my head in a way that realllly lit me up! Wow! A woman can put so much intent into a simple gesture. She then smiled and asked me if I got a lot of that (women rubbing my head – and I’m talking about my head.. the part of me attached to my shoulders) or not enough, and I smiled and said, “not enough.” This woman has been married for I don’t know how long, and I think she has a rather good relationship with her husband, and yet..

I’ve sort of figured out a few things.. Most of the married women have been older than me, so part of the appeal is that I’m a younger man. They also tend to be fairly confident, and perhaps find me being somewhat shy an attractive thing.  Also, some of these women have artistic temperaments, as do I, and that is another reason they take an interest in me. Am I handsome? Some women think so. I’m certainly not conventionally handsome. I’m an unconventional person in general.

I’m tall. I saw a show on PBS about attraction and what men and women are biologically wired up to find attractive about each other – men go for women with shapely figures – breasts and hips, women go for guys with muscles, obviously, but, I was surprised and quite pleased to find out,  women, according to this fairly scientific show, cannot help going for tall guys. One of the researchers even said, “A lesson to guys – don’t worry about going to the gym, be tall.” So, I’m guessing my height helps.

And, I look intelligent.. just about everybody who wears glasses is assumed to be intelligent, and this assumption is true concerning me, (although in some areas I am quite stupid) and in general, is often correct. Most people I’ve met who where glasses have turned out to be smart. Someone should do a study comparing poor eyesight with high IQ.

Married women.. hmm.. why them?   I stay home a lot, and when I do go out and mingle at various places, such as job sites, or club meetings or classes, it’s usually  married women who find me. Why is it so extremely rare that a groovy,  fairly attractive single woman with lots of great energy takes an interest in me and I in her? I don’t understand..

So, what do I do, anything? Haven’t had any issues with the husbands of the two women I fooled around with (knock on wood – yes I am a somewhat superstitious person.. I feel rather uneasy writing and posting this particular entry – feel like I am jinxing myself) But in the future, things could change.. Involvement with a married woman can be very very risky.

But I really need some attention, goddamnit!!

Will I do anything with the married woman who was flirting with me last night? I kinda doubt it. I’ve seen a couple pictures of her and her husband – he looks kinda like a matcho dude – the type who probably owns several firearms and knows how to use them. Yeah, participating in infidelity is a good way for a guy to get shot.

But.. who knows.. I try not to think about doing anything with this woman, because then I get all turned on just thinking about it.. and I strongly want to avoid being turned on.. feeling that way, unless I’m actually with someone.  Best not to think about her.. my heart starts beating faster, and.. yeah, not helpful.

Here’s something that makes this even more frustrating.. I have fairly flexible morals. I don’t feel much hesitation about being involved with a married woman. I feel intellectually that this is immoral, but it doesn’t bother me much. What mostly bothers me is the risk of retaliation by the husband. It is a moral thing to keep myself from being shot or otherwise injured or murdered.

As far as participating in an activity that could cause the demise of a marriage.. well, not really my problem..in almost all cases,  I don’t seek these women out, they find me, they initiate contact.. and if they are doing that, then I am guessing they are in unhappy marriages.

Is it wrong to get involved with a married woman.. even if it is just one really enjoyable incident? Yeah, kinda I feel that it is. But then again, so what.. what isn’t “wrong?” Is it potentially dangerous? Certainly. Will I therefore avoid any and all sensual contact with a married woman? I don’t know.

 

 

Family

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I Like Porn (Fourth Hit)

Holy shit. Look at me go.  Look at the dates to my last posts…think I have a few items I’ve been waiting to get off my chest?  For Christ’s sake!  No one’s even seen the blog yet!  Or ever, or whatever.  Who really cares.  If you’re reading this, you’re another person on the journey to my self-reflection and I’m sure you’ll eventually be disgusted with me.  Then again, you’ve probably seen some worst shit on the internet.  I’ve never shit on anyone’s chest.  Truth.

On that note, I like porn.  It’s not an obsession or anything.  I’m not too sick.  I’ve got enough skeletons without someone having to tap into my browser history to find yet another one. The first time I saw porn was when I was home sick alone as a girl.  My TV picked up Playboy, but it was a grainy, ghetto cable sort of signal that just told me I was doing something wrong. That, and there were bouncing, grainy breasts on the screen.  I remember thinking….”WOH”.  I remember it being the first time that I felt sexual.  I got off my first time then, too.  It sent shock waves up my spine and every hair on my body stood up.  My body said “WOH!”, and it hasn’t said anything remotely close to that since.  Come to think of it, I think the signal disappeared a few weeks later.  I popped my cherry with my hairbrush when I was 15 to a similar signal on a night without the ‘rents around. That, or it was my first boyfriend fingering me…I remember wondering which one it was. Both hurt and were in the same few weeks.

I watched porn with my first love.  He had a video that he got as a “gag” on his 17th birthday.  We’d watch it and fuck and masturbate in front of each other.  Then we got experimental and made our own.  God, I wish I kept it.  We had a good, long relationship for the most part, despite the yelling and pushing and jealousy – okay, maybe we were just really good together in bed.  Very comfortable.  Plus, I had a great body in high school.  Anyway, when we broke up, there was this super awkward moment when I was standing at his bedroom door reeling the magnetic tape out of our amateur video.  I kept pulling it out further and further, and he just stood there.  I was heartbroken and so was he.  I felt like I was physically destroying the memory of us.  I know he hasn’t had that good of sex since.  He started dating a girl right after me and I started dating some guy.  There’s nothing as good as all those “firsts” and I’m sure he knows that now.  I know I do. He emailed me recently to see how I’m doing, but just like the grainy cable porn, it’s another lost signal.

These days, I find myself watching hardcore, light s&m, lesbian, gang bangs…anything that seems like it will never happen.  It’s because it feels like they’d all be “firsts” for me, in a way.  Because I’ve never tried those things, I still have a fantasy about what it would feel like. I know kissing a girl was just as good as I imagined.  Sex was too.  The problem is, once you do it, it starts to define you.  It’s no longer a voyeuristic tendency.  You become the judged.  Now I consider myself bisexual.  Just like that.  The “curious” aspect was erased as soon as her lipstick was pasted on my neck.

Weigh-in 4, Finally having sex, and other misc updates

I finally managed to convince my wife to have sex with me.  I can’t remember when the last time was, but this was officially the first time since I started this blog.  It happened on Saturday, November 7.  It was really good.  And afterwards, she admitted that she felt closer to me and felt like she loved me more and was more able to handle my obnoxiousness.  We then went to see ‘This is It’ and spent a lot of the day bantering.  It was really fun, and really pleasant.  And I wish I had some way of reminding her of that so it’s not another 2 months or so before it happens again.

In other news, I’ve missed two weigh-ins now.  The first on purpose, the second not.  I’ve just gotten out of the habit of blogging mostly.  So here it is:

Monday’s weight: 268.0

Change from Last weigh-in: +7.2

Overall Change: +1.6

Pounds left to lose: 76.4

I think that basically speaks for itself.  The good news is that yesterday I climbed back up on the weight watchers wagon, and am already feeling better today. I wonder if I’ll ever learn that going on these several-week sugar and fat benders is never a good idea for me.  On Sunday I hit bottom.  I walked the 2 blocks back home from the laundromat, was out of breath, sweating, and feeling really upset and disgusting.  I ended up in the bathroom upset and thinking “What the hell am I doing to myself?  I am completely miserable, I hate my life, and my clothes aren’t even fitting anymore.”  This was cemented by wearing a shirt yesterday that kept riding up all freaking day.  I don’t recall ever having this problem with that particular shirt before.  Ah, the ever-expanding gut.  Not cool at all.  So like I said, yesterday I was good.  I even turned down chocolate at lunch.  And today, despite having been out late last night, I feel pretty fucking good.

Lately I yearn to run.  My body isn’t ready yet, and I don’t have time, but it’s definitely time to start laying the groundwork.  Time to make walking a priority, and to start doing a few minutes a day of strength stuff like planks, push-ups, sit-ups etc.  For the past few days I’ve had the song ‘Proud’ stuck in my head. You know, from The Biggest Loser?  “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” (I’d just like to point out that I knew the song well before I ever watched The Biggest Loser.)

I really need to blog more.  I am all over the place because too much has gone on that I haven’t written about.  Therefore nothing has any depth or meaning. Next time I’ll pick a topic.

califia in canada (and some shameless self-promotion)

Tonight I had the pleasure of attending a workshop in Ottawa with Patrick Califia entitled “Getting Hot When You Hurt,” in which he discussed all manner of insightful ideas about sex for people with disabilities or pain. He’s hopping over to Montreal next, as am I – not in that stalker-ish sort of way or anything, but rather, we’re both presenting next week at Queer McGill’s “(re)Doing It!” week, a series of super cool alternative sex education events. Very fun concept indeed! The arrangements were made sufficiently at the last minute that this info didn’t go out with my last newsletter, so for anyone interested, I’m teaching Take Five: The Art of Fisting on Tuesday and the 10 Rules for Happy Non-Monogamy on Wednesday – details below or on my Workshops page. Patrick is giving three talks over the week, and all of them look fucking fantastic, and there’s a whole bunch more going on to boot. So really, you should come check it all out!

While you’re at it, get yourself a copy of the latest edition of Macho Sluts, Patrick’s groundbreaking kinky erotica anthology, first published in 1988 and every bit as sizzling hot today. This is, I believe, its third edition, and definitely the most beautiful, with art by Michael Manning on the cover. The book has been out of print for years, much to the consternation of those of us who enjoy giving copies of it to baby perverts to set them firmly on the path of deviance and debauchery, so I am chuffed indeed that it’s available once again. And – in a fascinating turn of events – this time it’s been published by Vancouver-based Arsenal Pulp Press as part of a collection entitled “Little Sisters Classics,” in reference to the Vancouver bookstore that has repeatedly been targeted by Canada Customs for importing explicit material, including the earlier editions of Macho Sluts. Califia himself testified in the Supreme Court case so I guess it stands to reason they have a relationship. But how lovely that we’re getting it published north of the border so the whole importation silliness will be neatly avoided!

Anyway, that’s the word for the night. Read on for the details of McGill’s week o’ sex. Hope to see you there!

***

Sex. We love to talk about it, think about it, and (maybe) do it. But how much of what we know about sex is taken for granted? What’s hot, or normal, or disgusting and where do these assumptions come from? How do social values of “privileged sex” affect what types of sex we’re having or may want to have? What about our culturally sexed and gendered bodies? How do we challenge and overturn the systems which tell us how to love and how to fuck?

This isn’t your high school sex ed class. Come get (re)educated. (Re)Do it.

For more information: 514-398-2106 or queermcgill@gmail.com

Childcare is available for events, please let us know 48 hours in advance. All venues are wheelchair accessible unless noted.

*****

Monday November 16, 16h
Play Party Planning 101
Shatner Building, (3480 McTavish) McGill University, Room B-29

Description to come.

Presenter:
ATW/CLM Collective Members

Co-presented by Queer McGill and FAKE (Fetish and Kink Enthusiasts) McGill

*****

Monday November 16, 18h
Cameryn Moore, Phone Whore
Interstice, 242 Young, on the corner of Ottawa at metro Bonaventure. (do you love googlemaps? here:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=242+Young%2C+Montreal%2C+QC)

Slip on those long black gloves and join Cameryn Moore, Phone Whore for an evening of comedy and cocktails (with frequent interruptions). Ms. Cameryn comes up from Boston with a performance that began between calls. Drawing
from her work as a phone sex operator and delving into the murk of her own sexual life, she considers how what appears as acting out roles for the gratification of others has in fact stoked her own very real appetite for sexual power. “Phone Whore” is about fantasy and mind control, taboos and fetishes, and the place of “deviant” desires in society today. With martinis before and a talkback session (…more martinis) afterwards.

Cocktails: six et plus (commencement 18h00)
Show: commencement 19h00

We regret to inform you that this venue is not accessible.

Co-presented by Queer McGill, QPIRG McGill and the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy

*****

Tuesday November 17, 17h
Life is Complicated: The Abortion Debate on Campus
Shatner Student Centre (3480 McTavish), McGill University, SSMU Clubs Lounge 4th Floor

This workshop will discuss how abortion and choice have been posited and contested on campus, particularly at McGill. From the Birth Control Handbook to Choose Life’s Echoes of the Holocaust, we’ll see how liberal and leftist discourses of civil liberties and anti-oppression are co-opted to argue for the so-called rights of both pregnant and “pre-born” bodies. This language is further twisted as the right wing presence on campuses increases on many fronts, protecting itself from criticism with claims of”free speech”. We’ll call attention to the manipulative new face of pro-life and right-wing organizing while challenging ourselves to address it, and present arguments against it, in creative and effective ways.

Presenter:
M’ar Stine

Co-presented by Queer McGill, the Union for Gender Empowerment and the 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy

*****

Tuesday November 17, 20h
Take Five: The Pleasures of Fisting
Shatner Student Centre (3480 McTavish), McGill University, Lev Bukhman Room, 2nd Floor

It may seem extreme, but fisting – inserting an entire hand into a welcoming vagina – is in fact one of the most intimate and sensual kinds of penetration two people can enjoy. This workshop covers anatomy, techniques and safety tips, with a focus on maximizing pleasure for all concerned, givers and receivers alike. Anyone who loves vaginas is welcome to come, whether they have one of their own or not.

Presenter:
Andrea Zanin, a.k.a. Sex Geek, pretty much writes and talks about sex all the time unless she’s eating, sleeping or having it. She lives in Toronto and is an organizer, educator and writer within the queer, polyamory and BDSM/leather communities.

Co-presented by Queer McGill and FAKE (Fetish and Kink Enthusiasts) McGill

*****

Wednesday November 18, 17h
10 Rules for Happy Non-Monogamy
Shatner Student Centre (3480 McTavish), McGill University, Room 302

So you’d like to be romantically involved with more than one person at once? Or maybe you’d just like to sleep with someone other than your one-and-only? Whether you’re considering your first steps into non-monogamy or you’re an old hand looking for a fresh perspective, you’ll find valuable tidbits in this common-sense approach to enjoying love and sex in the plural. This is an interactive workshop with lots of room for beginners and experienced poly folk alike to share their questions and experiences.

Presenter:
Andrea Zanin frequently speaks about alternative sexuality for universities, colleges, sex shops, community groups and conferences in Canada, the States and internationally. Andrea also writes alternative-sexuality news and commentary for the Montreal Mirror, the Toronto Xtra! and Outlooks Magazine, as well as blogging at http://sexgeek.wordpress.com.

Co-presented by Queer McGill and FAKE (Fetish and Kink Enthusiasts) McGill

*****

Wednesday November 18, 20h
Keynote: Is it Radical to be a Man?
Stewart Biology Building (1205 Docteur Penfield), McGill University, Room S1/4

How are “personal,” “private” identities/choices, and work for social justice connected? Should queer activists be trying to dismantle the gender binary? Or has this goal actually divided transgendered people and sidelined other, more important issues? In order to examine these questions, this lecture will explore the politics of masculinity and male identity through the cultural feminist analysis of gender in the 1970s, through gay liberation, and into 21st century queer theory.

Presenter:
Patrick Califia is a bisexual transman who has been speaking and writing about queer politics and culture since the late 1970s. An early opponent of anti-porn feminism, he has defended sexual variation and called for a broad critique of sexual repression when it operates to oppose feminism and equal rights for queer people.

Presented by Queer McGill, the Union for Gender Empowerment, the Social Equity and Diversity Education (SEDE) Office.

*****

Thursday November 19, 18h
FTM Body Image and Sexuality
Shatner Student Centre (3480 McTavish), McGill University, SSMU Clubs Lounge 4th Floor

Pleasure and intimacy are areas of human experience that have been dominated by the gender binary. The identities of “men” and “women” are necessary for lovemaking, and it is in the realm of sexuality where these genders are physically defined. How do differently-gendered bodies and their desires create an arena for safe and celebratory passion? This workshop will focus on one group of transgendered people, female-to-male transsexuals or transmen. Califia will discuss the diversity of transmasculine physiology, relationships, fantasies, and issues. Are we creating new definitions of masculinity and manhood, or are we striving to bring our transgendered bodies into as much conformity as possible with the definitions that already exist? Are we ready to move beyond asking for tolerance and assert, instead, that our bodies deserve adoration just as they are? Rather than present the audience with a set of solutions, this workshop will ask questions that apply to all embodied people who long to feel bliss and connection.

Presenter:
Patrick Califia has lectured all over the world and is the author of nearly a dozen books. His non-fiction includes Public Sex, which popularized the term “sex radicalism.” Speaking Sex to Power, and Sex Changes: The Politics of Transgenderism.

Presented by Queer McGill

*****

Thursday November 19. 20h30
Film Screening – Annie Sprinkle’s Herstory of Porn
Shatner Student Centre (3480 McTavish), McGill University, Lev Bukhman Room, 2nd Floor
- suggested donation for the Divergence Movie Night program

The Herstory of Porn is a cult classic porn-art documentary that is both educational and entertaining. It examines important cultural topics including censorship, controversial art, feminism, gender issues and sex education. Based on Annie Sprinkle’s touring show, she takes us through a campy and honest history of her pornographic films in a way that is almost Mystery Porn Theatre 3000.

Presented by Queer McGill and Divergence Movie Nights

*****

Friday November 20, 18h
The Psychology and Spirituality of Erotic Pain
Shatner Building, (3480 McTavish) McGill University, Room B-30

This workshop/demonstration will answer some basic questions about BDSM practice, culture, and politics. Why do some people like to be hurt and get aroused by certain types of pain? Why do other people like to take care of those needs? How and why does pain provide ecstasy? What sort of spiritual value could BDSM techniques possibly have? The bulk of the presentation will be devoted to a live exploration of the top/bottom dynamic. Califia will be working with a brave volunteer. They will negotiate an encounter, he will restrain the subject, and then see if they can create an out-of-body experience of sustained bliss or oneness with the divine. Respect the vulnerability of the presenters, please. Do not attend this workshop if explicit BDSM play offends you; we need positive energy from our spectators to make this work.

Presenter:
Patrick Califia lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his lover of five years, some kittens, and a plethora of books and erotic weaponry.

*****

Friday November 20, 21h30
A Naughty Pre-Drink
427 rue de Malines, Métro Sherbrooke

Come join QM for a pre-drink and some dirty talk before we head over to the party at L’Alizé

*****

Friday November 20, Midnight
(p)Leather and Lace Dance Party
L’Alizé, 900 Ontario Est, Métro Berri-UQAM
$5 suggested donation for the Sense Project
Gender Neutral Bathrooms are in effect

Whether you’re into (p)leather or lace, or a little of both, everyone is getting sexy as we wrap up the week with a late night dance party…

DJ Noisy Nora and DJ docroot

Hosted by Queer McGill

Sex tape broadcast in West Ham London Tube station

In London, England: West Ham station commuters hear couple’s sex over loudspeaker.

Commuters were stunned as a major London station’s loudspeaker broadcast the sounds of a couple having sex.

It happened at West Ham station yesterday evening as passengers waited for c2c overground and District line Tube trains.

Receptionist Laura O’Connor, 28, was heading home on the eastbound District line. “We stopped at West Ham at about 6.45pm,” she said. “As the doors opened, I heard strange noises over the loudspeaker. It was definitely a couple doing it there and then. He was grunting loudly and she sounded like she was having a great time. The driver must have heard it, too, as the doors stayed open longer than usual.”

Commuter Ian McFee, 35, who was waiting for his c2c train to Southend, said: “A lot of people gathered round the speakers on the platform. No one seemed offended, everyone was just smirking.”

Tube bosses today launched an investigation as they revealed the Tannoy system had been turned off — yet the sounds continued.

A Transport For London spokesman said it appeared the loudspeakers had been tampered with, adding: “The incident heard by passengers did not emanate from London Underground property.

“Engineers attended and investigated the fault at the station which appeared to be caused by external interference to the public address system. The police are also investigating this disruption.”

bron: www.metro.co.uk [6-11-2009]

This ain't Splash Mountain!

“My vagina is like Disneyland, pretty much anyone can go. But my mouth is like a Buddhist temple, only the specials ones go there.”

This is the kind of shit that comes out of my mouth when I’m sitting at a shitty old man bar with Jamie while her bartending cousin cracks open tiny bottle after tiny bottle of Sutter Homes white wine and pours them into pint glasses for us.

But it’s true.

For some girls, a blow job is like a handshake. I don’t understand those girls. Perhaps my vagina is less sacred only because it is not near my face. Or perhaps I like dick there because I don’t have a clitoris in my mouth and I’m a selfish bitch who doesn’t care about your pleasure.

I have never sucked a dick that I have not slept with first. Okay….maybe in high school there was one but other than that, nope. I have to REALLY like you to put your dick in my mouth…hence the Dick In Mouth test being so important. (Yes I realize this is the 87th blog in a row where that test gets mentioned but god dammit it’s really important!)

I don’t understand girls who hand out blow jobs like buttons at a campaign rally. Is it low self esteem? A genuine love of sucking cock? Do y’all really find it less intimate than sex?

There is something so fucking intense about giving someone head. I can’t figure out why one would do it without being SUPER into the dude. And he needs to be SUPER into you otherwise he doesn’t deserve that shit.

To sum it up:

 

 

If you’re thinking is opposite mine, please enlighten me as to why your mouth is Disneyland.

Carlota Joaquina de Bourbon

Muita gente a conhece pelasas suas travessuras maduras e inteligentes, por lançar estilos, por disfarçar calvice com moda, por ser louca, por ser atrevida, e por ser a inventora, acredite se quiser, da tão famosa, Caipirinha.

Estou falando de Carlota Joaquina de Bourbon, Rainha de Portugal, Infanta de Espanha, Princesa do Brasil, Imperatriz honorária do Brasil.

Dona de uma feiura clássica incrível, Carlota Joaquina botava seus pés embalados por sapatos (sua obsessão) em solo carioca em 1808. Sua personalidade era fortíssima e assim como seu marido, era feia, feia, feia demais.

“…A mulher era quase horrenda, ossuda, com uma espádua acentuadamente mais alta do que a outra, uns olhos miúdos, a pele grossa que as marcas da bexiga (bexiga: o mesmo que varíola. Nota do autor), ainda fazia mais áspera, o nariz avermelhado. E pequena, quase anã… Uma alma ardente, ambiciosa, inquieta, sulcada de paixões, sem escrúpulos, com os impulsos do sexo alvoroçados…” dizia um artigo da época.

Sua filha Maria Tereza também retratou sem papas na língua a personalidade de sua mãe :

“Nossa Mãe Dona Carlota Joaquina, temos de respeitá-la, mas é preferível sair do seu caminho. Você vai ouvir seus gritos até nas ruas mais distantes, quando ela tem um ataque de raiva, porque não lhe trazem jovens fortes… Ela é uma Bourbon e teve de casar com um Bragança, que não é uma estirpe boa. Com os portugueses tudo é indefinido… Pouca ambição, pouco espírito de luta. Os nossos pais não nos amam, eles nos separaram; Pedro (Dom Pedro I. Nota do autor) teve sorte de poder viver com o pai. Nós, as moças, as minhas duas irmãs e meu irmão Miguel tivemos de viver com ela… Meu pai mandou prendê-la num convento (o Convento da Ajuda no Rio de Janeiro, Nota do Autor), porque não podia mais confiar nela. Ela se oferece aos criados… No Convento da Ajudatentaram conter o seu desejo com uma alimentação especialmente leve, mas voltou ainda mais briguenta, mais desajustada.Montevidéu ela quer só para si, ela a espanhola… Queria vender suas jóias para poder pagar uma conspiração que derrubasse nosso pai. Isso ela já havia feito em Lisboa, queria conseguir afastar o marido do trono, declarando-o incapaz… Os comerciantes na praça fofocam sobre a ninfomaníaca; ela encomenda manteiga irlandesa e trigo alemão, o veludo e as cortinas de tule da Itália, e manda o porteiro ir até a agência, para que lhe mandassem garotos. Ela mesma desce até o porto quando chegam navios da Europa; tem um interesse especial por aqueles que se declaram médicos, querendo que lhe expliquem e desenhem as partes do corpo humano… A maioria tem medo de tal mulher; e eu também”.

 

Alguns links sobre o assunto :

Wikipédia

Escândalos de Carlota Joaquina – Assis Cintra (Livro)

Filme da vida de Carlota Joaquina

 

Have Fun !

The Truth About Dragons

     When I announced that I’d be doing a post a day, I asked my throngs of adoring fans to offer some suggestions of topics that I should cover. Clearly, my brilliance had cowed and intimidated all but the bravest of my legions of admirers, because I only received one response. Jon Wolf asked me to talk about the dragon that lived in the rings of Saturn. As soon as I heard his desparate entreaty, I knew I had to respond as quickly and thoroughly as possible to clear up the myths and misconceptions about said dragon.

There are many myths about dragons in general. Most people realize that dragons as we know them never actually existed in Europe, Asia, Africa. etc. Yes, there are myths and legends about the existence of enormous, scaly, flying and just plain bad ass creatures all over the world, but the majority of people believe that real dragons simply don’t exist. A reasonable stance to be sure, but true in only the most parochial sense. The real truth, (that only a few of us have had the drive and vision to discover), is that dragons are real but they don’t live on Earth. If one puts just a little thought to this, it quickly becomes clear why.

There is simply no way a creature that large could generate the lift necessary to fly under it’s own power. No matter how large the surface area of the wings, or how powerful the muscles, it’s too much mass to get off the ground with the speed and energy availible to biological organisms. Dragons love to fly, and they can’t fly on Earth, therefore, no dragons on Earth. It’s elementary logic.

So in order to shine the light of truth on this sadly ignored fact, I’ve come up with a list of facts about our Solar System’s dragon(s) that I think you should read:

1) There isn’t just one dragon living in Saturn’s rings, there are two. Their names are Bruno and Jack-Jack. They have tremendous amounts of sex. There’s not much else to do out there, but they’re not complaining.

2) Jack-Jack is short for Jacqueline Jacobi. This is a little strange because dragons typically do not use surnames. She’s never bothered to explain it, and the few beings who have brave enough to ask about it never lived to regret their insolence.

3) Almost every current story and myth about dragons can be traced to the one particular dragon named Marshall. Somewhere around 4200BCE during what we would call a “mid-life crisis” he got hammered, flew a bit too close to Earth’s gravity well and was trapped here. After a few decades of anger and frustration in which he laid waste to much of what is now Northern Europe, he mellowed out, grew a moustache and ponytail and moved to a small cottage on the shores of the Yangtze.

4) The moon landings were not faked, but they were an integral part of a massive government conspiracy. In fact, the launching of Apollos 12-15 were a massively successful ruse to distract the media’s attention away from a secondary launch site in Central Florida, exactly where the “Astral Orbiter” now stands at Walt Disney World. First Kennedy and then Nixon authorized these covert missions in order to establish regular contact Bruno and Jack-Jack and hopefully gain their support in the Cold War.

5) When they were first discovered, Pulsars were assumed to be distant dragon flames. We have since discovered that they are actually exotic remnants of stars, given their bizarre charateristics due to the massive violence and energy of a supernova event. However, in private, most astronomers prefer to stick to the “Dragon Flame Interpretation”, when asked about it, they will pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about.

6) Academics, bureucrats, artists, scientists and philosophers have know of real dragons for centuries. They keep their existence a secret not out of a fear of the public’s reaction, but becuase dragons are so damn cool that the jerks who gave them wedgies and the snobs who rejected them in high school don’t deserve to know about it.

7) Far from living in isolation, dragons are in regular contact with humanity, and enjoy many of our cultural exports. Bruno enjoys Iron Chef America, but still prefers the original Japanese version. Jack-Jack loved Battlestar Galactica and can even forgive the heavy-handed ending but when pressed says: “I actually liked the finale, but really, Starbuck? WTF?”. They are both serious Munchkin fanatics. Bruno’s musical tastes tend toward Progressive Rock and New Wave while Jack-Jack is massively eclectic, listening to everyone from Rascal Flatts to Franz Ferdinand.

One dragon scale is about the size of a cheese Pazzo from Amato’s. (Noteable because that is one of Jack-Jack’s favorite Earthly foods.)

9) The closest humanity has ever come to conflict with dragon kind was in 2007 when they Bruno was quoted at saying: “You know, that Cheney guy is kind of a tool.” Once the impracticality of sending 50,000 troops to Saturn’s rings was explained to the Vice President, the conflict was avoided.

10) If you ever come face to face with a dragon, panic and beg for mercy. You’re probably in no danger from the dragons, but you are now stranded, floating in the rings of Saturn, surrounded by massive balls of ice and debris. What the hell were you thinking?

Being Transgender is dishonest

A recent Feministing post on transgender people having sex with cisgender people attracted many negative comments focusing on the “dishonesty” of transgender people.

First of I’d like to say that I completely agree that it is dishonest for a transgender person and a cisgender person to have sex, full-stop.  We live in a world where notions of sexual orientation and gender are defined from a cisgender persective.  Since transgender people don’t fit neatly into these cisgender definitions, we are always going to be dishonest.

The whole notion of gender is commonly defined in terms of “biological sex”.  Interestingly very few people seem to see any need to decide what “biological sex” actually is, given that it has about a million different scientific meanings.  Transgender people don’t fit into these ideas of gender, so we are dishonest always.  I can’t say I am female without being accused of lying about what my assigned biological sex.  And I can’t say I’m male, because that isn’t my gender identity nor is how I’m usually perceived, so that of cause would make me dishonest as well.  And I certainly couldn’t say my gender identity is anything other than female or male, because those options don’t even exist in a lot of people’s eyes.  So yes I am completely dishonest, because I can’t even give an honest (cisgender) answer to what my gender is.

Thankfully comments along the above lines have become rarer at Feministing, and transgender people are less often accused of being dishonest about their gender.

But now with this recent post, there was a lot of people making comments based on similar thinking.  That transgender people should reveal their transgender status, because it’s something a partner needs to know.  Yet the reason usually given is that its relevant to the sexual orientation of the cisgender person.

But this argument has the same problems as that of defining a transgender person’s gender.  We have these artificial labels that people apply to themselves – heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or assexual.  And this is what defines us, but when it comes to transgender people and cisgender people having sex, these labels become ambiguous and we no longer have an “honest” labelling system – which is of cause blamed on the transgender person who caused this anomaly.

It is this system of labelling sexual orientations that is the problem.  The reality is that a human being is sexually attracted to some other human beings.  But we then feel the need to categorise people into heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, or assexual.  But given that these categories are based on the gender of the person you are attracted to, this can not possibly be meaningful when the gender of a person isn’t straight-forward.

The reality is that you can be attracted to somebody, without even knowing  what their gender (however you as an individual define it) or even being mistaken about the gender.  This situation clearly makes a mockery of the system we use.  Though I have no doubt that many people would just blame the person they are “mistakenly” attracted to for being dishonest about their gender.

And the other obvious anamoly which seemed to be completely ignored in most comments – that if a cisgender person is sexually attracted to a transgender person, then the attraction exists.  The cisgender person can’t then say that they aren’t attracted to trans people, that’s just a plain contradiction.  What of cause can be said is that the cisgender person chooses not to have sex with transgender people, which is of cause a valid preference – just as racism classism, biphobia, and ableism are also valid reasons for choosing sexual partners.

Now I realise that the above “systems” of defining gender and sexual orientation are very widely used in society.  But I am disturbed that on a Feminist blog, people are defending the use of these cisgender-only systems – systems whose consequence is to oppress transgender people.

To call a stealth transgender person dishonest (or worse) for having sex with a cisgender person is a defense of this transphobic system.  If people want to choose to only sleep with cisgender (or white/able/middle-class/non-bigots/liberal/conservative/etc) partners, then people should take care that their sexual partners satisfy their particular prejudices.

Even if a majority of people are transphobic (or racist/ableist/classist/etc) then that doesn’t justify obligating transgender people to partake in that oppression.  Surely the real issue is tackling that transphobic culture, pointing out the absurdity of society’s ideas of gender and sexual orientation, rather than accusing transgender people of dishonesty or sexual assault because we don’t fit society’s norms and expectations.

And to be clear, I acknowledge that it is possible to construct hypothetical situations that would be dishonest and/or sexual assault committed by a transgender person (just as the case for a cisgender person).  I am talking about the general idea of a cisgender and transgender person having sex.

And in this post I am not making any comment on the argument that being open about big things is important/necessary in a relationship – that is a seperate issue to this

City’s vice squad violating SWEAT’s interdict

Lawyers acting on behalf of SWEAT (Sex Workers Education and Advocacy Taskforce) have submitted a letter to the City of Cape Town detailing in legal terms why the ongoing arrests of sex workers are unlawful and requesting that the City respond by 5 November.

On 16 October 2009 the City issued a media release stating that they had arrested 84 sex workers for soliciting and that the purpose of the arrests was to ‘profile sex offenders at the police station and register them on the City database if they are habitual offenders’ – such evidence ‘can subsequently be used should habitual offenders be arraigned in court’. All eighty-four of the sex workers who were arrested were released ‘after being profiled and fined’.

According to letter written by Angela Andrews from the Legal Resource Centre: ‘The arrests violate the terms of the  interdict granted in favour of SWEAT by the High Court on 20 April 2009, and the circumstances in which arrests can be made without a warrant. Such arrests must be made with the intention on bringing the arrestee before a court and cannot be made with the intention of “profiling” an alleged offender or imposing a series of admission of guilt fines on them.’

Vivienne Lalu, advocacy coordinator at SWEAT felt that the City should be held accountable to the law like everyone else. She further stated that sex workers fought long and hard to obtain the interdict. She said: ‘Sex workers do have rights even though the work they do is considered a crime.’ SWEAT would value any opportunity to engage the City regarding this matter. The random arrests of sex workers not only fails to address real crimes and those criminals who capitalize upon sex workers, but cause the industry to be driven further underground and result in sex workers not being able to access their human rights.

‘Pornification’ the Porn Phenomenon

‘Pornification’ – By Narelle McGowan

UK teens view 87 hours of pornography each year according to a survey of British teens online habits.

The survey conducted by OnePoll also surveyed children’s web habits showing that “sex” and “porn” are among the top 10 most-searched terms.

Pornography is Everywhere

Top 10 Children’s Search Terms…

1. YouTube

2. Google

3. Facebook

4. Sex

5. MySpace

6. Porn

7. Yahoo

8. Michael Jackson

9. Fred (YouTube Star)

10. eBay

In its hardcore form pornography is now accessed by 33% of all internet users in the UK.

Pornography is now more profitable and more acceptable than ever. It is everywhere: in advertising, on our mobile phones in our back pockets, on our televisions and dominates the online world. In the US the porn industry brings in up to $15billion annually (around £9billion).

Each year in LA alone more than 10,000 hardcore pornographic films are made against an annual Hollywood average of 400 movies. On top of this thousands of armature pornographic films tailored to specific groups are in circulation worldwide.

Every day in the UK 23% of men access pornography. According to Professor Brian McNair, Strathclyde University, “It is now much more acceptable for people to admit they want access to porn.”

When you Google porn you get about 209,000,000 results but Google doesn’t prompt porn or any porn related statements. Despite this pornography is increasingly easy to access and this raises questions of moral corruption in our society.

There are many different reasons why people seek access pornography. Some of which include…

- Form of escapism

- Imagining themselves in the act

-To polish up on technique

- For sex education

- Just to pass the time

Although pornography has become much more socially acceptable, as form of ‘Gentlemen’s entertainment’ disguised in places like Diamond Dolls and Spearmint Rhinos there is a clear dangerous element.

In a survey of 1000 men 35% said that consuming porn has stopped them from committing a sexual crime. Like drugs and alcohol pornography can also be addictive and if it can deter sexual crime, can it also encourage it?

Should pornography come with a warning sticker ‘Don’t Try This At Home’?

When one consumes pornography they produce a chemical – dopamine, whereby you find yourself wanting and needing more. Dopamine is associated with pleasure, and the feeling of ‘falling in love’. Which raises the issue… can one ‘fall in love’ with pornography?

In some circles despite its increasing social acceptance ‘porn’ is still considered a dirty word, but it can have its benefits. It can be used as a form of escapism, bonding between couples and perhaps can fill a gap in order to prevent sexual crime.

However if you feel you have an addition to pornography then seek help. Visit Sex Addicts Anonymous www.sexaa.org

Self-help: peons, paradise and panache...

There are a lot of self-help guides and ideas floating around out there. Ways to become powerful, to become successful, confident, how to seize the day, etc. They’re mostly gibberish because they pitch no real skill. To address real problems of confidence takes practice in an area relating to the problem. How do you cease social anxiety? How do you take down violent criminals or fight off bullies? How do you talk to attractive men or women? How do you stand up to your boss? How do you find a soul-mate, a great teacher, or a great skill? How do you make a lot of money on the stock-market? How do you attain non-craving or non-attachment and ultimate supreme enlightenment?

The same way you do anything: you practice the necessary skill until it becomes normal. You do it until it is no longer an unusual thing, it becomes routine. So much crap in life, so much unnecessary mental suffering is really just people whining — people trying to avoid doing the grunt work. The grunt work is all there is! Civilization is built upon shitty jobs! When you fuck up — do it again! Do it again! Again! Again!!!!!

In fact, in life we should never expect any kind of perfection or success. Life is constant struggle, constant change — diamonds are mined from hard work, and nothing else. Any successful person, who did not have to do any hard work or hard practice to get to their position of influence or affluence, is worthless. They do not know what they are doing. They are the spoiled prince, the media heiress, the run-of-the-mill actor, the corrupt politician, the failed business tycoon; they are the true meaning of charlatan, poseur, parasite and liar. The depth of their ugliness is endless.

And so it is with everything. If you want the bigger returns, you need to put in more effort than other people.
This is why having competition amongst fellow students, friends and family can be a good thing. We are forced to practice and improve ourselves with our free time. Life’s rewards are the personal results of hard work. Too many people just sit on their asses watching mediocre television shows every night, while looking for love in the gutter (bars and clubs) on the weekends.

And not that anyone is ever satisfied by romantic love no matter how much they yearn for it. Every other person I meet who finds out I’m deep into Taiji or music, they immediately fire off some nonsense about how they really want to start learning that stuff. But almost none of them will ever start. Why? What do they want, free lessons? My approval? All a person needs to make life reasonably fulfilling is a couple of things rewarding practices to pass the time, things that you would hate yourself for not doing.

The worst thing I can imagine doing is taking some salaried job in a corporation, so that I can buy a house in a developed community and raise kids in a world I never fully comprehended in the first place. And yet, the irony is that this is the grunt work, the shitty job, of civilization. A lot of people try to fill their existential hole with sex, drugs, money, kids, status, power, religion, and a million other things. And they’re unsatisfied. They have nothing. Because there is nothing, but they only know that intellectually, not experientially. And so it goes on.

Learning multiple skills is essential to understanding the essence of metaphor. Metaphorical understanding and realization is valuable stuff, as Aristotle put it:

The greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor… it is also the sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars.