I’ve learned a lot about being a parent from my children. I’ve learned a lot about myself through parenting. I can’t say I’m perfect but I feel like I’ve got some ideas. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about marriage in the decade or so of being a parent is that the investment in your relationship with your spouse needs to continue. You are, after all, the reason that those kids came to be in your lives.
I’ve often heard co-workers discuss growing apart from their spouse but they are quick to defend their “all-day tailgates” at football games with the boys or their “girls’ night out” with the ladies. Those are important too but I would offer then that those are either distractions or escapes from your relationship.
When the wife and I reconciled, one of the issues on the table was “what are we going to do about ‘us’?”. We had rarely been out alone since children. We didn’t do the things we used to like to do. Granted, there’s a time and a place in life for all of that. Our kids were older at that point and they didn’t need us to the point where we couldn’t have someone watch them for two hours to go out to a quiet and intimate dinner. When we got back together, that was a promise. We’ve been good about it at times and horrible about it at other times but the point is that we see the importance of “dating” and not allowing our lives to be consumed by the rut of being the “kids’ sports taxi”.
God bless those kids. I love them with all my heart but when they leave home at some point, I want to still know that woman across the table from me. I don’t want to have to reach back into my memory banks to pull out the last time we went to a movie and chatted about it afterwards over a piece of pie.
It’s a valuable lesson my friends. It takes work but it’s worth it. Tonight, the wife and I have an overnight away thanks to a charity auction that we won. Those overnights are too rare but they’re always fun, always hot and always bring a smile to our faces come the next time we see our kids.
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