Girl on the Go: Accessories Sold Separately

Virgin America flight 412. I’m on my way from LA to NY, five days “sans famille”.  The first vacation in 15 years without my husband and child.  I have packed accordingly; sequins and stiletto boots that haven’t seen the light of day since the 80’s.  My bff is in the seat beside me, and we’re on our third cocktail.

Touching the ground at JFK, I feel it all coming back. My hometown long ago forsaken for eternal sunshine and the white picket fence, dogs and SUV included.  The lights of the city welcome us on this rainy October night.  It’s 11:00 at night, and I’m wired.

There are beautiful boys on the street. Not California beautiful, but New York sexy. Hot and electric, rough around the edges. Twenty years slip away as I fall into the rhythm of the city.  My accent is back, and so is my light.

We have no responsibilities on this trip, no one to tend to.  Night and day are interchangeable. We stay out until 5 in the morning, and eat lunch at 4 in the afternoon.  I’m wearing mini skirts and 6-inch Louboutin pumps, knee-high boots and glitter. Steven Tyler smiles at me in the hotel elevator.  We have a drink with Jackson Browne.

The  Concierge is a bad boy. He rolls joints for me, and we smoke outside a bar next door to the hotel. He walks like a mobster/runway model, and talks like David Caruso. He smells really good.  He is 6′2 and blonde, beautiful.  I am old enough to be his mother.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Oral sex keeps male fruit bats keen

Female short-nosed fruit bats have been observed performing fellatio on their partners during copulation. Mating pairs spent more time copulating if the female did so.

Cynopterus sphinx live in south-east Asia. The males often roost with small groups of females. Min Tan of the Guangdong Entomological Institute in Guangzhou, China, and colleagues captured 30 male and 30 female short-nosed fruit bats in Yuexiu Park in Guangzhou City and observed their mating behaviour in enclosures.

The bats copulate dorso-ventrally, with the male mounting the female from behind. During mating, the females reached over to lick the base of the male’s penis in 14 of the 20 pairs that copulated. The tip of the penis had already penetrated the female’s vagina, and the males did not withdraw when the female licked the base of the penis.

Both the duration of an individual copulation, and the overall time a mating pair spent copulating, were increased if the female performed fellatio.

bron: www.newscientist.com [29-10-2009]

I love u more.

How can I possibly love you more now than I did before?  I don’t know, but? I do.

We finally met in person and I can only speak for myself, of course, and I can say it was magical.  My heart was pounding as I was approaching the place that you’d be waiting for me.  The minute I saw you standing there, I thought my heart might stop.  I had waited so long for this moment and now, I might die.

You had joked for weeks that you wanted three things from me and I delivered.  I walked up to you and showed you the three things and then kissed you.  My heart nearly came out of my chest.  Your lips felt like heaven on mine.  It is a moment I will never forget.  Just breathing you in felt nice.

As we drove to the hotel, I watched you.  I often caught myself staring at you – I just wanted to drink you in.  All of you.  I wanted to burn your physical features into my brain, your mannerisms, your everything.  We only had mere days to experience as much of each other as humanly possible, and I wanted to make the most of every second.  It’s a shame that we had to sleep sometimes.  Although, sleeping next to you was nice, too.

Our first night together was so wonderful.  It felt so right.  You making love to me was everything I thought it would be and more.  Just laying next to you was another slice of heaven.

We laughed, had moments of sadness, fucked, slept, held hands, hugged, kissed, oh how we kissed… a lot, we hung out with mutual friends, laughed some more, stole quick moments together even while surrounded by others, shared looks from across the room, ate, touched, flirted… packed a lot into a few short days.  They are days I will never forget for as long as I’m alive.  I play back, in my mind, my favorite moments with you.  I miss you so much.  You have no idea.  I’m not sure if you miss me but I? can. not. get you out of my mind.  I thought it was bad before.  Well?  It’s worse now.  Much worse.  You invade every waking moment.  Reality was a huge slap in the face after living in a dream world for a week.

I wish I could snap my fingers and have you sitting next to me right now.  Your lips on mine.  Your hands tracing circles on my back.  Your body pressed against mine.

I said I was scared to have you hold me but more terrified that I’d never experience that.  Now that I have had your arms around me, I’m frightened to think of that never happening again.  My heart hurts when I think of never seeing you again.   I cry.  Cry because I love you and yet, I’m here and you’re there.

The past week has been like a dream, a dream I did not want to wake from.  But now that I am awake, I have realized one thing… I love u more than I did before.  Yes, it’s true.

Having to walk away from you at the airport nearly killed me.  Trying to keep it together was torture.  I wanted to melt into a puddle before you and have you scoop me up and take me away.

I will die if I never see you again. Never touch you again.  Never feel your lips on mine.  Never hear you say you love me.  Never have you look into my eyes and touch my face as you whisper sweet things to me.  Never watch your face as you fuck me and tell me how beautiful I am.  It hurts to be so far away from you.  It hurts so damn much.

I miss u.

I want u.

I need u.

I love u.

Reglas de oro para tener un sex friend

Por Héctor Ledezma

Los sex friends, se pueden definir como amigos sexuales, que de una u otra forma siempre están dispuestos a una relación sexual. El sexólogo Miguel Alejandro Espinosa, comenta que tenerlo resulta una decisión personal, lo ideal sería que en este tipo de relación se establezcan acuerdos muy claros sobre qué se quiere, qué no, y hasta dónde.

Comúnmente se habla de “reglas” como: “No se vale enamorarse” o “Sólo será sexo, nada más”, aunque no es tan simple. Sería ilógico asegurar que esto puede hacerse, ya que el ser humano involucra sus emociones en cada situación de vida que experimenta, es imposible despojarse de ellas. Así pues, el riesgo de enamorarse en cualquier encuentro interpersonal (sexual o no) está latente.

“Enamorarse requiere más que sólo un encuentro o contacto, debe existir atracción física, intelectual y afectiva, por ello, es importante ir actualizando los acuerdos y ser sinceros. Comunicar lo que se va sintiendo respecto a la otra persona, esto puede al menos dar claridad al tipo de relación que se tiene y la forma en que va modificando”, dice el especialista.

En un periodo donde no hay una pareja sentimental, el sexo es parte de las necesidades a cubrir, ya que de acuerdo con el sexólogo, la energía sexual está presente desde que se nace y hasta que se muere, esto no implica que la sexualidad deba ser ejercida en pareja, y mucho menos que el no tener una práctica sexual sea sinónimo de estar incompleto.

¿Pareja sexual por catálogo?

El sitio enfemenino.com resalta que los “amigos con roce” no se seleccionan por catálogo, y debe tenerse en cuenta que son seres humanos y los criterios a tomar en cuenta son los siguientes:

*Un hombre/mujer con quien se hayan tenido previamente relaciones sexuales muy satisfactorias.
*Con confianza suficiente para estar a gusto, sin preocuparse por detalles como intentar posiciones nuevas y dejar que se vean con defectos.
*Su cuerpo los inspira y hace que se despierte la líbido.
*Son amigos y se respetan, no hay juicios morales.
*Hay disposición sin hacer demasiadas preguntas, el momento del sexo es lo que importa.
*Los dos son solteros, no se toman hombres y mujeres de otras personas, eso ya no es un sex friend.

Reglas básicas

Éstas tienen el objetivo de que sea armonioso, y sobre todo que quede claro que es sólo sexo, nunca con el fin de promoverlo, sino de que sea más sencillo el trato, ya que todo tiene consecuencias.

*No se vale enamorarse, no es sencillo, pero hay que hacer lo posible, ya que de las relaciones sexuales pueden nacer sentimientos, sobre todo si hay un buen entendimiento, así que antes hay que estar consciente.

*Después del sexo, no hay que esperar detalles, ni ellas un ramo de flores, ni ellos un te quiero o un beso.

*La claridad y honestidad es muy importante, que la otra persona y tú sepan que lo que se busca es pasarla bien, sin involucrar nada más, y que así como empieza también puede terminar.

*Si te das cuenta que tu sex friend desarrolla sentimientos, puedes poner fin o redefinir la situación, para que no haya confusiones, a menos que te pase lo mismo y pasen a algo más.

*No elijas un sex friend que te guste, o por el que sientas atracción, ya que te puede ir peor.

*Evita todo tipo de cosas que sean de “pareja”, ir al cine, a cenar, a comer, con los amigos, ya que esto a su vez, evita malos entendidos.

*Si alguno de los dos encuentra pareja estable, habrá que decir adiós al sex friend, esto se hace de una manera sincera y correcta, fue tu compañero (a) sexual y es importante que sean honestos. Evitar contactos posteriores, pues alguno ya tiene pareja.

El factor edad no es del todo determinante en las relaciones con amigos, “depende de la persona misma, ya que hay diversas circunstancias, personalidades, acuerdos, deseos, tiempos, que afectarán la forma en que la relación se desarrolle. En la juventud suelen darse relaciones de contacto coital con mayor frecuencia, en cambio la sexualidad en una edad avanzada se expresa con un menor contacto coital y suele ir más despacio y disfrutando sutilezas en las que la juventud no se detiene” afirma Manuel Alejandro.

¿Mi ex puede ser sex friend?

El caso del ex, merece mención aparte, porque este sólo se recomienda cuando la ruptura haya sido por común acuerdo, algo así, como una ruptura ideal, donde no hay heridos, en este caso la amistad es posible, y por lo tanto una vida sexual amistosa también es probable, esta debe evitarse en casos donde uno de los dos esté lastimado o no lo haya superado.

Sin embargo, también se deben en tomar en cuenta los siguientes aspectos:

*El riesgo de volver a encariñarse o recordar viejos tiempos está latente, y uno de los dos puede salir herido.

*Hay que dejar las cartas sobre la mesa para evitar posibles roces o malos entendidos.

*Estar solteros, pues sino se entra a terrenos de infidelidad, y pasar de pareja a amante, no es lo ideal.

*Saber que es por sexo, y no para recordar viejas sensaciones, y mucho menos para no estar sola (o).

*Los sex friends son contactos sexuales que se disfrutan, y no tienen porqué generar conflictos posteriores.

Word. Thanks for the nut

So I went out with this guy a couple of times within the last week. I dont have a name for him, nor do I want to create one, since I’d rather push it out of my mind. Maybe I am a bitch. Maybe I just dont have that emotional connection with guys lately, but whatever the reason, I am getting fucktards. So here is how it went down.

Met on okc, attractive, tall, built-I mean can you say 8-pack?-This guy could seriously bench me, which is what I really only wanted. I told him I was seeing someone else on second date and not interested in anything serious, but not opposed to it if it happens. We had good chats, but nothing too intense or over done, at least in my book. I think he is street smart, but not intellectually smart. Anyway, incessant texts, emails, he shows up late one night for a little smooching, then goes home just as quickly. Ok. I see the game. But I didnt really.

Went over his place last night after work and we started drinking, as we do. We get on the convo about attractiveness and he hands me a pic of his entire family and asks me about his cousin. I say, eh, I dont find him hot, he isnt my type. Guy gets weird and says I insulted his family. Huh? Ok, next convo, things settle, he apologizes once he sees his error, thing start getting heavy. Sex happens, its ok, more like a jack hammer, nothing quiet great, he goes limp. Not once, but twice. Maybe its time to sleep it off? hmmm….

Next morning, same thing. No go, I spent a good time down there trying to work it out, but he wasnt getting it up. WTF! Argh…I just wanna get it going. Then I notice some huge ass zits on his back, think that this meathead is taking steroids, maybe thats why he cant get it up and has small balls. I try to talk about it with him, he says nerves. Ok, fine. I already committed to spending the day with him and while we are chatting and drinking coffee, I’m like, this guy is such a bro. I cant do this, I cant date someone who is thick-headed, even if he is hot. Then he calls me on it when I was leaving, saying to not let it bug me about the sex, and that it was the first time. I don’t know what to say, but I am anything but obvious generally.

I return home, disappointed,  call T4.0. Ahhh…..now thats nice. And before I go to work, I get this email:

Meathead: Listen.  I need to write you this email.  I need to do this for myself, and I can’t figure out how to do this any other way.  This past week was most definitely the worst case of emotional instability that my brain has gone through since I can remember.  I’ve never been so excited and so depressed about the same thing in such a short amount of time.  This is not me.  This is not how I behave or feel on a day-to-day basis.  I don’t get excited or depressed about women like this.  It’s really pissing me off, and I’m trying to figure out how to stop it.

Well, after smoking two absolutely delicious cigarettes, I concluded that I need to just confess everything to get this all out of my head. Here it is:  I really did want something serious out of this.  I was telling you that we should just take it wherever it goes, but I think subconsciously, I really wanted something along the lines of a relationship.  I met someone who is infinitely open-minded, incredibly intelligent, and intensely sexy and cute at the same time, and I thought — holy shit, this is the perfect woman!  Then we had this connection on the next few dates, and everything went out of control after that.  I had this burning desire to be with you all of the time. And I wanted you to want me more than anything.

So because of this, I put all this pressure on myself to do whatever it takes to get you to like me more.  And that’s where things just went to shit.  It’s like, the harder I try to impress someone, the worse of a person I become.  The past 24 hours was an obvious example of this.  Everything just went wrong from the get go.  I watch you get a little bit tipsy … I start drinking heavier to get on your page … conversation goes to shit … I completely misunderstand you and throw a fucking tantrum … you almost leave.  Then when got to the point of ripping each others clothes off, now all I’m doing is trying to impress you in the bedroom.  Combine those nerves and the alcohol, and we have this pretty bad experience.  I think the blunder the next morning pretty much sealed the deal – after that, any connection we had over the past few days just completely vanished.  Our last talk
over coffee was certainly not as emotionally stimulating as the talk we had at Dunlays.  And now, I’m pretty convinced that I won’t hear from you again.

So what I’m saying is this: I can’t be myself around you when there is pressure of dating and the expectations that go with it.  I want to be able to be myself around you — and I really, really want to get to know you more, and spend more time together.  So I think the only way this could possibly happen is if we call it friends.  However, since we both made it clear that we are both very physically attracted to each other, I would absolutely never be opposed to kissing you or getting naked again.  You’re so GD cute sometimes, I find it impossible to not kiss you, so that would probably still happen.  I just want to say out loud, that we should just forget about the idea of you and I ever getting in a serious relationship for now, because I
obviously can’t deal with the pressure of you evaluating me as a potential boyfriend.  In other words, let’s remove the “boyfriend
material” label.

Now if you are telling me that this is your definition of dating, then fine, that’s how you can look at it.  If you don’t like the idea of
“friends with benefits”, then we don’t need to do the benefits. Whatever it is, I don’t want to put a label on this — I just really
want to get to know you as a friend.

I really want to know what you think about this, so please send me some sort of reply.  If you just read it, and let me know “I read your email, and I’m thinking it over — then that would be good enough for now.  I hope work goes well, and I hope to talk to you again soon…

My response:

My sentiments exactly. Sounds like a good plan to me, and that’s all I ever really wanted anyway. You know I am sleeping and seeing some one else anyway, and that person has primacy in my life and will until that relationship ends, which I don’t forsee happening anytime soon.

So friends it is, but I don’t know about the benefit part. We’ll see what happens.

 

SOOOO, maybe I was a little harsh here, but it was like he gave me a backhand compliment. Yes, you are hot, but it’s not working out for me bc YOU have all these expectations for me (when I never really did). In the end, he saved me the head ache of sending him an email saying it isnt working for me. Weird.

It's Time for TMI Tuesdays!

1) What are three mistakes someone could make on the first date with you that would automatically make you turn down a second date with them?

You know, I think I’m pretty forgiving on first dates. I understand the jitters and nervousness, etc. But if someone was dishonest, rude, or I just knew that there was no way in hell I was ever gonna feel a “spark” I wouldn’t waste my time on a second date.
2) Pick an animal that best displays your personality.

a housecat. A long haired, snooty one. OK maybe that doesn’t suit my personality, but if I had to come back as an animal, that’s what I’d pick.
3) If your significant other stopped having sex with you, how long would you stay?

It depends on the reason. If there were some physical reason or something like that, I wouldn’t have an issue. But a dried up sex life is usually a symptom of bigger problems, in which case I would get to the bottom of it or get out.
4) Are you more passive or aggressive when the relationship becomes physical?

There’s something to be said for both. Depends on my mood I guess.
5) Have you ever been INSIDE a store that sold adult themed toys and videos?

Oh yes. Such stores are a hoot! In college, there was one that had a bargain bin of movies and we would get granny and midget porn for like two dollars and just laugh our asses off at it.

Bonus (as in optional): What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a “friends with benefits” relationship? How about men?

I think just about every man in the world could handle friends with benefits. When it comes to sex, most of us think with the wrong head and there doesn’t have to be any sort of emotional connection necessarily. So I’m going to say 90 percent of men. Women, on the other hand, need more than just a physical attraction (unless, of course, copious amounts of liquor are involved) so I will say 10 percent of them could be OK with such an arrangement.