Eventually I was going to end up on a dating site trying to find someone to sleep with, or something. Maybe love? For someone fickle like me love and fooling around end up meaning the same thing most of the time. That’s too bad but as long as I’m not finding my soul mate I’ve always preferred to get laid as often as possible. This isn’t easy at a distance so I don’t date long-distance anymore. After a while that turned into not dating at all as long once I started to meet girls who were into the “friends with benefits” situation. These have turned out favorable for the most part because nobody can be blamed when it ends and there’s no breakup. Then there’s the added friendship afterward, if you liked to hang out with them.
Somehow things changed. I’ve never been elated to be truly single and hate the uncertainty accompanied with when I’ll be with someone I might like. Over the past week the anxiety that I’ve been getting about going outdoors has channeled its energy in a weird way. Each new trip into the outside world had added pressure to meet someone new. While mostly focusing on girls, I quickly began to realize that I was afraid of the idea that I might never meet another new person in my life. This is a retarded thing to think.
Throughout the past month my friend Nolan and I have been firing ad campaigns for existing services and products. One of them was Match.com, since their ads have been successful and are also great to lampoon or mess around with. It to my knowledge is the only online dating service to have a series of broadcast television ads and that’s mainly the sort of thing Nolan and I pitch to each other. After throwing ideas around about not knowing what you’re getting into just walking up to a person in real life, or the ease of use the site exhibits, I finally gave in to the inner struggle I had with my own self-confidence, and my curiosity about this service a friend and I had been focusing on recently. Maybe we both believe in love and this is how we’re telling each other. Maybe it’s just funny to think about furries hooking up over their love for Farkle.
So I took a look into this new world of online dating to see what exactly is so great about it and if these ads, like many, are lying out their ass about how successful this sort of thing is. Am I going to find true love? Who knows, but I’m guessing absolutely not. Am I going to sleep with anyone? I hope so, because if it’s not that then I better be making money doing this. While I don’t know what my goal is exactly, but I know my curiosity has been piqued enough to pay $35 for a month of service and three days of trial beforehand. That means that Match.com has a month to try and successfully find someone who is a match for me that I might date, and I’m going to write about every little thing that goes wrong during it.
Over the next three days I’ll be setting up ground rules for how I should go about actually using Match.com to meet women in my area. I may have to venture outside my city even, but I’ll do it for a possible fucked up story in the end. First things first is that I’ll be writing daily about what’s going on with this blog, so if anyone is actually reading then you can look forward to something consistent (unlike modern dating HAH!).
If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far it’s that people will pay for love and Match.com knows they can charge for it.
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