There are two issues I’d like to tackle, both in the spirit of World Aids Day. Although memory of my time in Leeds is quickly fading into a blur of nights out and hurriedly submitted assignments, I do miss my time at university. Every night there was an organised orgy of drunk students filling nightclubs. Girls wearing short skirts with their asses hanging out. Makeup covered faces, resembling a cross between a bum shaking dancer from an American hip hop video and a working girl prowling the streets of Kings Cross. The boys prance around in their moronic slogan ridden Top Man t-shirts, drooling at anything with a bit of boob on show before advancing ape like towards their prey and rubbing their crotches up against their unsuspecting victim hoping not to get rejected for the third time that night. As the evening got later, each were pairing off for their own personal after party. Starting with a kiss on the dance floor, continuing with a stumble into a cab, a light fumble on the way home, and to finish with 15 minutes of sweaty thrusting before passing out.
Sex was on the brain of every student, every night. Everyone was at it. Well, except for me. It wasn’t like I didn’t get any sex while at university, rather instead of a weekly jaunt under the covers, like everyone else, it was more of an annual romp. Unsurprising considering my chubby exterior and fast receding hairline.
With limited personal experience, I would enjoy the tales provided by my buddies and their fleeting encounters with the opposite sex. What struck me, was the consistent failure of many to wear a condom. Some would even claim that if your partner was Jewish, there was little risk of catching an STI. Others believed that the girl being on the pill would be some kind of protection. The myth of Jewish immunity to passing and catching Sexually Transmitted Infections was commonplace at university. This is the myth I choose to dispel. Jews have sex while at university, and Jews catch STI’s while at university. If you don’t rubber up while sleeping with someone who hasn’t been tested, you’re an idiot. And if you have had unprotected sex, do us all a favour and go and get yourself tested.
My second target for abuse, is a Mr Pope Benedict XVI. Africa, a predominantly Catholic continent, has an aids problem. 25 million people in Africa have aids, and about 2 million die of it every year. The Pope’s claims that using a Condom increase the chances of catching aids, is not just wrong, it is perpetuating the largest genocide of our time. Although I would normally argue vehemently against the death penalty, for you Mr Pope, I would make an exception.
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