Ann, age 26 –
Jerry did not corner me in a dark alley and rape me on our first date; that’s such a negative stereotype. I mean, I know a lot of tentacle monsters meet women that way, but not Jerry. He’s so sweet. He asked me out to coffee, first, and then he serenaded me from the fire escape window. That Nat King Cole song, Mona Lisa. But I’d say the thing that most drew me to him was his eyes. Jerry has the most beautiful eyes at the end of glistening penile-shaped groinal appendages.
Jane, age 40 –
Belpheyrgotep and I have been married for six years, and it’s been…difficult. Good, but difficult, at times. I mean, how many twittering school girls do you need menace before it just gets old? Don’t get me wrong, Bel’s been nothing but faithful…but on the weekends he does like to go out with his buddies and lurk a little. Just harmless lurking. I mean, it’s just a hobby, it’s just jumping out the bushes and startling kids on their way back from the anime fan club, what’s the harm in that? Somedays I just don’t understand why he keeps getting arrested.
Sue, age 64 –
Ah, Marvin. Even after all these years, he still fills my every orifice.
No comments:
Post a Comment