How can I possibly love you more now than I did before? I don’t know, but? I do.
We finally met in person and I can only speak for myself, of course, and I can say it was magical. My heart was pounding as I was approaching the place that you’d be waiting for me. The minute I saw you standing there, I thought my heart might stop. I had waited so long for this moment and now, I might die.
You had joked for weeks that you wanted three things from me and I delivered. I walked up to you and showed you the three things and then kissed you. My heart nearly came out of my chest. Your lips felt like heaven on mine. It is a moment I will never forget. Just breathing you in felt nice.
As we drove to the hotel, I watched you. I often caught myself staring at you – I just wanted to drink you in. All of you. I wanted to burn your physical features into my brain, your mannerisms, your everything. We only had mere days to experience as much of each other as humanly possible, and I wanted to make the most of every second. It’s a shame that we had to sleep sometimes. Although, sleeping next to you was nice, too.
Our first night together was so wonderful. It felt so right. You making love to me was everything I thought it would be and more. Just laying next to you was another slice of heaven.
We laughed, had moments of sadness, fucked, slept, held hands, hugged, kissed, oh how we kissed… a lot, we hung out with mutual friends, laughed some more, stole quick moments together even while surrounded by others, shared looks from across the room, ate, touched, flirted… packed a lot into a few short days. They are days I will never forget for as long as I’m alive. I play back, in my mind, my favorite moments with you. I miss you so much. You have no idea. I’m not sure if you miss me but I? can. not. get you out of my mind. I thought it was bad before. Well? It’s worse now. Much worse. You invade every waking moment. Reality was a huge slap in the face after living in a dream world for a week.
I wish I could snap my fingers and have you sitting next to me right now. Your lips on mine. Your hands tracing circles on my back. Your body pressed against mine.
I said I was scared to have you hold me but more terrified that I’d never experience that. Now that I have had your arms around me, I’m frightened to think of that never happening again. My heart hurts when I think of never seeing you again. I cry. Cry because I love you and yet, I’m here and you’re there.
The past week has been like a dream, a dream I did not want to wake from. But now that I am awake, I have realized one thing… I love u more than I did before. Yes, it’s true.
Having to walk away from you at the airport nearly killed me. Trying to keep it together was torture. I wanted to melt into a puddle before you and have you scoop me up and take me away.
I will die if I never see you again. Never touch you again. Never feel your lips on mine. Never hear you say you love me. Never have you look into my eyes and touch my face as you whisper sweet things to me. Never watch your face as you fuck me and tell me how beautiful I am. It hurts to be so far away from you. It hurts so damn much.
I miss u.
I want u.
I need u.
I love u.
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