Thursday, October 8, 2009

Let's talk about sex...

Ok, not sure if this will be TMI for most people but I am going to talk a bit about my sex life, so don’t continue reading if u don’t want to…

Now I have talked about before how I don’t really “desire” my hubby in the way I am suppose to.  There are times where I want to be with him and love him and everything but I still don’t desire and enjoy his physical body.  I try, I really do.  I try to clear my mind of everything and focus just on him and who he is and his touch and everything and how he loves me and really desires to be with me but it just doesn’t work for me.

I can only get off sand enjoy sex when I start imagining other things.  Things like looking at other women, being with a woman, me being a guy with a woman, a girl going down on me (either as a guy or a girl), etc…  His touch and sexual actions with me are not enough to arouse me and bring me to “it”.  And when I don’t imagine those things, then sex is bland and somewhat lifeless and very very frustrating.

So to keep my hubby pleased and fulfilled, I give in to the fantasy in my head so that our coming together can happen and he doesn’t feel rejected.  I mean we can’t just never have sex.  I don’t want him to feel bad or feel unloved or never get his needs met or anything.  And if I just laid there or didn’t make any noise of gratification or anything then he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it either.

What is a girl to do?

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