let me tell you about my day. yes–i know it is 3am. i am going to explain.
let me tell you about this past day. it was the most unproductive i have ever been in my entire life. i woke up at 10am. then again at 12pm. then finally at 3.
i blogged, as usual.
made a pan of PERSONAL PANCAKES…just enough for me.
blogged some more,
and went right back to sleep.
i woke up again at 7pm and i called him.
he&i have been arguing for the past forever. these past few days have been kind of hard. personally, i think it’s the rain. but anywayyys, we argued. i cried. he got upset. we decided to leave [again].
this is how i have felt. imagine me standing in the middle of the street...in the rain...yeaaa. that's about right.
i got a little TOO upset and hung up.
just to call him right back.
we apologized. got stuck on the topic of what to do next…as usual. said some hurtful things to each other. discovered some honest truths. i got my face played and he got a hint of reality.
he didn’t like that.
he hung up.
i ordered his favorite–hotwings&cinnastix–and ate them all by myself as some sick and twisted way of getting back at him. lmao.
and i attempted to cry myself to sleep, only to not be able to sleep at all. so i called the one person i knew who could make it better.
him.
i told him i couldn’t sleep. i asked him did he still love me. i told him i didn’t want to sleep unless he stayed on the phone. and he did.
i dozed in and out of sleep…and he was still there.
and i rest reassured that whenever i need him the most, i reach out for his hand—and he’s there.
when he thought i was fast asleep, he hung up.
and i lay in my bed staring at the ceiling in deep thought.
then the funniest phonecall i have ever received came. the most eventful thing that happened to me all day.
the[drunken]QUE called. lmfao.
in some sort of JIBBERISH language;; he spoke in BARKS&partialENGLISH.
“goooooooooooooooose! arffff arfff. where youuu at??? you bet’ not be drankin’! you too cute to be drankin’! i was talkin to mah niggga ’bout youuu and i was sayin’ ‘i really wanna talk to her but she be drankin’ like a mannn!’”…
at this point—i am DYING laughing.
i told him i wasn’t drinking. i was chilling at the crib. trying to listen to the background, i was worried that this drunk negro was walking down some street by himself.
which he was. SMH.
“gooooooooooooosie, i had the NASTIEST dream last night. and it was sooo homo because youuu were in it.”
pause. lmao.
he thinks i am his homeboy. lol. his “nigga”. so anything “sexual” that he may think or envision, is homo to him. haha. i know…weird.
he proceeds to tell me IN EXTREME DETAIL about a dream that began with him hitting me like the true dawg he is and ended in me screaming “get out of my stomach”…..
-_- blank stare. cricket. cricket. cricket. cracking the hell up.
this negro was SOOO drunk that i couldn’t even curse him out. and if he REALLY knew what that dream did to me, i’m sure he would’ve showed up at my door ten minutes later…
so he continued to rant. he even talked about a few things that i’m sure he wasn’t supposed to tell me for the sake of his fraternity and the sake of his own embarassment.
meet the man who never says the word GIRLFRIEND or WIFE. the man who “never trusts no bitch”. welppp. he said it tonight. so i’m a TAD BIT afraid. lol. he told me that, other than his LBs, i am the only person he looks forward to seeing some days…and amidst all the things that made me cry today, that made me smile.
he calls me gooooosie affectionately. as if to say it different because it means something different to him.
we had a 20min convo just to get him home safely about how he is adamantly trying to find something wrong with me, but cannot. i passed the test of not talking to or fucking anyone from his three organizations on campus, no one is talking about me, and no one is shedding any dirt on my name…and he’s a little worried. he keeps saying, “i’m trying so hard to find something wrong with you so that i can go ahead and stop trusting you,” and that shed some light on how niggas think these days. there ARE still such things as good girls.
nowwww, just because this dog buries her bones a little deeper than the others doesn’t mean that she is good ; ) remember that. haha.
theQUE’s a little drunken bastard, and i kinda like him. i think he likes me more than he wants me to believe, which is surprising.
i wonder if he will remember ANY of this later on…
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