Background Noise.

1. Oral sex and sex involving penetration aren’t that different. If the point of sex, for you, is orgasm and a connection to the other person, then it doesn’t matter if he sticks his dick in your or not. So don’t give me any of that “No, we didn’t have sex, he’s not that kind of guy. But we went down on each other for hours.” Same. Thing. He is totally “that kind of guy.” Don’t kid yourself. Either way his dick is in one of your holes.

2.Somehow I remember more of what has been in the background while having sex than the actual sex having:

• Monty Python and the Holy Grail

• Grandma’s Boy (I don’t remember any of it though)

• Holes

• His stoned roommate (distraction enough, I assure you)

• Some Angelina Joli movie (I’m pretty sure she got him off better than I did, though he swore up and down he wasn’t watching)

• Accepted (We actually wanted to watch it, but missed the middle entirely. We were pretty surprised)

• Changling (Not much of a turn-on, you’d think. Maybe it was Angelina Joli again?)

• South Park (Extreme sarcasm always did make me hot)

• While on the phone. (I was a little drunk. He was twice as drunk and told me to answer it…I see the guy I was talking to on the phone now more than I see the guy I was fucking…sometimes I feel awkward.)

• Eric Clapton

• Stone Temple Pilots

• Deftones