Mine for the month of September, by Ida Lovelace and Carnal Nation
Sagittarius
Overall: 3 of Vibrators
Challenge: 6 of Fantasies
Homework: 2 of Vibrators
Long-distance love affairs can be difficult. We all wait for that right ship to sail in, and when it does, you realize you might only be a port of call. Patience, my dear Sag. The right person is out there for you. Learn to trust your instincts. Intuition is a tool. The more you use it, the more adept at its use you become. Your challenge is not to fall into past patterns. Do you fall in love because someone showers you with the right amount of attention? Is it all about sex, all the time? It is time for you to break some old habits. Create a new list of things that are important to you to have in a partner and in life in general. Keep it in your pocket. Whenever that ship does sail in, make sure you check your list. If the new interest fails to fulfill at least 70 percent of what really matters to you, return them to sea and wait for the next vessel to arrive.
Oh man, this is interesting. Long distance love affairs? You mean T4.0? Is it all about sex, all the time? Oh good golly, yes it is, kinda. Homework? WTF…I’ve got enough of that.
So let’s see and try to break this down. Long distance love affairs…T4.0 and I have been chatting, vchat and texting/emailing very regularly. He came out to visit me a couple of weeks ago and we had a blast. We have sooooo much fun together. But I’m just not sure where it is going. And now we are going to be seeing each other in SF this weekend. He was kind enough to ship me out there for a friends wedding on Sunday. We have a good relationship and if he was here, we would probably be dating, although I am not sure how serious. We have had some discussions about what we want and what is going on between us. We definitely like each other, but even if he was in Chicago, I’m not sure we would even be together, fully committed. I have a lot going on in my life and I like the fact that we can visit each other and take it slower. This will be something I should be working on as well, taking it SLOW. I tend to be monogamous, and therefore, want a lot from my partner right away. So while I am working on chilling out with T4.0, I am still concerned with his past, like the fact that he never has said he loved a woman, or at least to her. That’s a little worrisome. He is 40 years old, and has never been honest with his feelings? Really? And what would that mean for our relationship? On second thought, maybe this is better for me, since I am too open with my feelings sometimes.
Is it all about sex all the time? I like sex, lots of it and it has to be good. The quickest way for me to be over a dude is poor sex life. So let’s see…. I have already started off the month, or the eve of the month by sleeping with Joseph, that guy from school. He interests me because he is different then most of the guys I have ever dated. He is larger in size (meaning he is quiet stocky and thick), and much more soft spoken, but also very inexperienced when it comes to casual sex. Case in point, we hung out a bit last weekend, dinner and a show, then my house to play cards on Friday, and then lunch/dinner and studying on Saturday, While we were studying, I wanted to take a break and smoke. He asked to kiss me before I went upstairs to the roof desk. Yeah, you heard right, HE ASKED TO KISS ME! Aww, but who does that? Anyway, it was sweet, and chivalrous, but the reason behind it is that he didn’t want me to taste like cigarettes when he does kiss me. Ug. I picked up on this right away. So I had to break it down for him: I smoke, I see other people, and I don’t want a serious or long-term relationship. He got it and understood. We broke up even before we got together. So as friends, we hung out, talked about casual sex and our pasts, both being very open and honest. I never thought anything would happen. But as I was leaving, he pounced on me and we ended up having a good make out session, then I went home. I didn’t want him to be upset about making out with me when he has never been about being casual, really. So I sent him The Rules just to give him a little more to think about. Let’s just say that when he came over on Monday night to stay over, he had changed his tune completely. But, in the end, where maybe I helped him get his mojo back, I took one for the team, I think. Not that sex was bad, it just wasn’t good. But then again, that is what this weekend if for,
And then there is Slim, another dude I met online through okcupid. He’s very tall, from Omaha, an actor (oh dear!) and a playwright. He is really nice, funny, cool and attractive in a Midwest sense (meaning he has a little potbelly, just as ALL the guys do. I’m going to have to let my ideals slide while here). And he gets it, meaning, he knows I am dating T4.0, and he himself was in a polyamourous relationship previously and is totally fine with it. I took him home the other night, we totally made out, but nothing happened. I will definitely be calling him when I get home. My only worry is that I’m not sure how I will deal with his crazy antics, being an actor and all; I can only imagine what he will dream up.
So my homework is to make a list of what I want. To “create a new list of things that are important to you to have in a partner and in life in general.” What if I know what I don’t want? I know that I want to finish school, be aggressive in my studies and find a job that pays well and allows me to travel, lots. That’s not really conducive to a great relationship; it really doesn’t allow me to settle down. But then there is something in me that wants that too. I want the marriage, happily ever after (for the most part) with great sex, a nice home, and kids. But I’m just not sure where that will fit in. And realistically, I could manifest any situation I want, and it will work, because I want it to. But really, I don’t want anything serious. And if I were to figure it out, I think I’d be really sad with the list right now. Fuck.
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