Monday, September 28, 2009

Comfort Zones Be Damnned

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you probably saw this message from me early Sunday morning:

It’s gotta be a good night when you laughed as much as I did, come home with more wine/booze than you went with, got kissed like he meant it and didn’t make it home til AFTER Google Calender sent the next day’s schedule. Oh, the rain …is falling over my bedroom ceiling…and not through. Knock on wood. Not so bad tonight. ;-p

(If we’re not friends on Facebook, why the hecklberrys NOT?)

Yeah, Saturday night, migraine be damned. I drugged myself up good with double allergy meds, some migraine meds and went out, pomegranate vodka and seltzer in hand.

I also took a huge step outside my comfort zone…

This weekend, I took a deep breath and kissed a guy in front of friends and people I didn’t know.

You might ask what the big deal is, people kiss each other all the time in front of others…but to me it is a big deal for a few reasons.

1. While I’m very much into affection, I’m not ok with sucking face and tongue swallowing where you look like you’re trying to devour each other’s faces where others either can or have to see it.

I’m more of a “Hey, let’s get out of here, I have a better idea…” even if getting out of there is just to duck around a corner or find a quiet spot for a few min kind of girl…

I’m actually one of the ones whose going to tell you “to get a room”, interrupt said kisses/groping with questions, or let GenWar physically separate you. What can I say? No one needs to see that!

(Let me clarify now, that I’m ok with the quick kiss as you walk past or the hugs/cuddles here and there…but I don’t really want to see your version of foreplay if that’s ok with you.)

2. Because of the above, I’m almost positive that it was the first time that the dear friends who were in the room at the time had seen me kiss anyone (other than some girlfriends)…let alone the kind that might have easily resulted in removal of clothing had it happened elsewhere.

3. It was someone who I sort of have a thing for and well, I don’t know if he’s into me like that. The uncertainty of that part typically makes me err on the side of not getting rejected in front of others. What can I say?

Don’t get me wrong, I love hugs, I’ll kiss my gay boyfriends right on the kisser, but I’m just not into the whole affection display.

Instead, as the guy gave me a bottle of wine he had made and  hugged me (full body style) GenWar handed me his phone with a tweet on it, “Thinks (the guy) might be straight after all”. I had already kissed him on the cheek so as we still stood there half hugging, I put my hand on the side of his face and kissed him.

The kiss I got back got him a second one complete with arm wrapped around his neck and him pulling me closer. Or maybe I pulled him closer. I don’t know. Does it matter?

Yikes. I was part of that duo that I had spent all night making fun of…Shit!

GenWar (who typically only takes digs at the guys I bring around or express interest in as more than friends) just looked at me after the guy left and said, “So you like him?” and I didn’t really have an answer, because I’m sort of into him, but not really sure, mostly because I don’ t know how he feels about the idea of being more than buddies…I told him, “Kinda, but I didn’t really know – yet”.

He told me to give it a chance. Granted we’d all had a bit to drink (and by a bit, I mean some sort of phrase meaning “LOTS more” – but I’m trying to downplay our antics here…)

So today, I sent the guy in question a text asking if I could interest him in dinner and a movie this week. I guess we’ll see. (This too is something seriously outside my comfort zone. Asking a guy out first with the intention of it being more than a buddy thing.)

Regardless, it was a really good kiss…I’m glad I stepped outside that particular comfort zone. And I do like me some good kisses.

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Request for the Day! Send me your pictures from this weekend. I’ll be posting some good ones soon.

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