What? September’s almost over? It only means the Time-Wasters have been working their magic. I wasted all of August and most of September to bring you: Texts From Last Night.
Unfortunately (for truth) most of these texts seem to be from the next morning, explaining the drunken actions of the receiver. Oh, and about 96% of the texts are about sex, so, you know, parental advisory. These gems are sorted by area code. Here’s the goodness from Brooklyn:
(718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
(646): Please don’t use social media to get back at me.
(718): i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
(917): get a pic
(718): i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
(917): i want ur life
(718): you took a scissor and started screaming “I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD”
(646): Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
And from the rest of NYC:
(212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
(212): he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
(212): her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Now its time for you to rep your own hood. Go to the site and search your area code, and reply to this post with the best from your neck of the woods. Happy August! Stay tuned for September!
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